How to be strong

[wish0]

My mother in law just got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. It has been hard on everyone, especially my husband. He only had his mom growing up so they have a close relationship. I feel bad even writing this but it has been causing A lot of anxiety. I don't do well with this stuff and seeing my own husband going through it hurts. It's hard for me to be strong during this time but I am trying. This all happened when I was seeing my therapist. My wish was to continue to go but I have to be my husbands backbone. I was actually supposed to go yesterday but his mom ended up in the hospital. This is all fresh and new so I know it's going to be difficult. I have always been the type of person who worries about others health\feelings ever since I can remember. I know my anxiety disorder does not make the situation any better. I feel guilty I even have anxiety when I need to be strong. I owe it to him.. he was there when I was going through tough times as well. I know nobody can help, it's just going to be a hard part of life.. but when you have anxiety it's like those parts of life make it 1000x more difficult to deal with.

When my grandparents passed away a few years ago I remember also having anxiety. It was so hard to attend the funeral. His mother was close to me too so I know it will be difficult for us all. She starts chemo tomorrow.

[The Intolerable Kid]

Went through this same thing with my father in law back in 2007. His cancer was a long, drawn out process and very painful for my wife. His eventual death sent her into a terrible depression. You have to prepare yourself to be there for your spouse and make sacrifices to support them in these situations. I still worked nights back then and being alone at night worsened my wife's depression considerably. I had worked nights for 15 years (and I liked it back then) but it was clear I had to make a drastic change if I was going to help her through that. So I made the transition to working days instead so I could be there for her. That helped, but her depression continued. I decided to take her on a trip to Florida in mid winter and it worked wonders, almost like a reset. In feb of 2008, after spending a week in Orlando, she started to come out of her depression.
There is no clear cut way to deal with these things, everyone is different. From your description, it sounds like you're ready to do what it takes to help your husband, he's lucky to have you.

[Jull]

I'm sorry for your family :(
Just want to say try to take care of your mother in law well and make her rest of life happier..

[Amaze0707]

I am so sorry your family is going through this. Please do not feel guilty, you are doing your best to be there for your husband. It's not easy when you need a treatment yourself for the anxiety disorder. I hope you are able to meet your therapist and get better soon. I'm praying that your mother and each of your family members will feel God's tender love sustaining you during this very difficult time.