hey...

[rhoda]

Not sure what to write - nor if anyone reads this, but yeah...

Im a 29 year old woman and about 6 years ago I had a massive mental/nervous breakdown...it took me a few years to get over it, and I was fine - though sometimes there are times when I break down again and need help/a break etc.

This is one of those times.

Ive started having panic attacks again, though I havent for years.
Not entirely sure what the cause is - though sometimes there doesnt need to be one.

I guess I just need people to talk to about it.

so, hi - nice to meet you all :)

[Carla]

Hi Rhoda :)
Welcome to the forum! Firstly I think you have done really well in getting over a massive breakdown. If you have been able to do that then I am sure you will be able to deal with what is happening now too. You sound like a strong person in overcoming what you went through. Panic attacks are horrid I know. I had no reason whatsoever to have anxiety or panic attacks. It just came out of the blue. I still have anxiety although it is much better than what it was. The panic attacks have disapeared. I can still get anxiety attacks when out sometimes but these are different to the panic attacks I got. There are a lot of good posts on the site about ways to help panic attacks and anxiety, related to diet and self help. Maybe these could be of some use to you? We can all relate to and help each on here and I have found that this site has been a massive help to me. I dont now think personally that anxiety does go away for good never to return. I think once it is there, it can go away but it can come back too throughout our lives. I have never heard of one person who had anxiety badly where it went away for good. I met one person the other week who told me how she thought she had finally got rid of really bad anxiety only for it to return years later with no explanation for why it did as she said she had nothing to stress over. She told me that every so often it flares up again and then goes again.I really now do believe that people are prone to it either genetically (my mum had really bad anxiety and depression) through illness (my anxiety started when I had an existing health problem) by the way some peoples diets and lifestyles are. Other people can have really stressful lives, have a poor diet and drink and smoke too much but never get anxiety. I just think some people are more susceptible to getting anxiety than others, just as some people smoke all their lives and never get cancer and others will. As we get used to what to expect when anxiety returns then we can help ourselves each time as we find ways to help combat the anxiety, be it thro all self help techniques, diet, exercise and therapy and for some medication. My anxiety is fading fast at the moment after going thro a nightmare time over the past months. I do worry sometimes that it will return but I now feel confident that at least I now know what to expect and how to help myself, should it return, and therefore better armed, unlike the first time I experienced anxiety when I didnt have a clue what was going on.It was so scary. My dad told me that what doesnt kill you makes you stronger, and I truly believe that. If one good thing has come out of the horrific time I had, then it is that I feel stronger in a lot of ways. I appreciate life more and I am much more aware of myself and look after myself a lot more. I am sure you know a lot in helping yourself to deal with anxiety after coming thro what you have? Is there anything that triggers your panic attacks and anxiety? Do you have a support system in the way of family and friends who can help when you are going through a relapse? I hope you are feeling better soon and that the panic attacks dont last for long. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

[rhoda]

Hey Carla,

Thank you so much for your kind post :)
You really hit the nail on the head in many instances...

I have some idea why Im going through this again at the moment - I have been going out too much lately (celebrating friend's 30th birthdays etc ) which triggers anxiety ( esp when I have a hangover ) and really not taking care of myself ; Ive also been trying to ween myself off my meds, assuming I was ok, and was ready to get off them ( apparently, I am not )...also, stress at work ( Im a teacher ) and living in a place I dont feel comfortable/happy in. My lifestyle must change, and perhaps this relapse is telling me so.

As for getting past my nervous breakdown and agrophobia - it did make me a stronger person. I lost many years of my youth over that time, and I was very depressed. What makes me sad is the relapses - makes me feel weak, as though I cant handle life.

Anyway, thanks again for being so lovely and understanding.
Im going to the doctor in a few days to try and sort out some isssues
Wish me luck...

Rhoda.
x