Desperate Times call for Desperate Messures

[Nancy17]

Let me apologize in advance for being a downer...I am kind of at my wits end these days. I am not one for looking to forums for help but after 17 years, countless hospitals, doctors and medications I guess I am running out of options.

I know I need to look around but this is a bit overwhelming so perhaps if someone would be kind enough to guide me as to where I may fit best (find the best subforums) I'd appreciate it, I wouldn't object to a PM since putting myself out here (yes even in writing) is freaking me out a bit.

I'll keep it simple; my anxiety issues include psychogenic seizures, agoraphobia, and some periods of temporary loss of mobility and loss of speech (or developing a stutter until the extreme stress passes). Again I don't want to post too much.

I recently moved to Florida from PA and cannot get any help here. My family is incredibly supportive but they don't get it. I have been unable to work since 2015 after losing my job due to my condition (2nd job I lost from it). I feel I am useless and a loser...

Hopefully I have found a non-judgmental place to talk with people who may understand and live as I do. Knowing I am not alone would help.

Thanks and again, I apologize (especially for the misspelling in the title)

[Kirk]

Welcome to the forum. First of all, you are not useless or a loser. You just have some mental health issues that you need help dealing with.
I would go online as I am sure in Florida their are places you can get help.

[Synner]

Knowing I am not alone would help.

Thanks and again, I apologize.I think the first thing most people like us learn when they finally reach out is how many of us suffer from these kinds of issues. You can't throw a rock without hitting at least 2 of us.

I also lost a job due to my panic disorder. That was almost 20 years ago when these things weren't talked about openly and finding help and understanding was a monumental task. Today the atmosphere is completely different. Sure, you'll still find some people who think you should just "get over it, move on". But you'll find way more that say "yep...me to". Welcome to the forum from a fellow newbie.

[Nancy17]

Welcome to the forum. First of all, you are not useless or a loser. You just have some mental health issues that you need help dealing with.
I would go online as I am sure in Florida their are places you can get help.

I did, made calls, sent emails, etc. Apparently the psychiatrists here don't take insurance (not that I have anyway), they insist on cash, and every clinic or group claiming to be free or reduced cost help I spoke to says my husband makes too much money. Believe me, I have been looking.

[Nancy17]

t "get over it, move on".

I hate when people think I can just snap out of it. OMG THANK YOU! Why in 17 years didn't I think of that simple answer!!

Thanks for the welcome and your kind words

[gypsylee]

Hi Nancy and welcome :)

Most of the stuff happens on the General Discussion board and it's pretty casual (and crazy at times). People are mostly non-judgmental but there are a few bad eggs. Just take your time - I read posts for about a year before posting anything. It really helped me just knowing I wasn't alone with this beast (that's one of its favourite tricks!)

All the best,
Gypsy x

[Kirk]

Years ago I had a psychiatrist say to me, why do you feel this way? I felt like sayng if I knew the answer to that one,
I would not be here. (Health anxiety)

[Synner]

Years ago I had a psychiatrist say to me, why do you feel this way? I felt like sayng if I knew the answer to that one,
I would not be here. (Health anxiety)lol...one of my favorites. Right up there with "well all you have to do is stop thinking about it".

[Nancy17]

In 2001 I had my first seizure. It took well over a year to 'officially' determine that they were non-epileptic. I had been in a ton of hospitals throughout the northeast and saw countless neurologists. The very first neurologist who finally made some kind of diagnosis told me they were stress induced seizures (at the time I refused to believe in such a thing) but then he proceeded to tell me that I need to learn to manage stress, that he knew a man who knew how to exude peace and love and I needed to learn to be like him, to be able to go into the forest and (word for word) "commune with the butterflies".

....seriously...that's what he told me

[sarsaparilla]

Welcome to the forum. :) thanks for sharing and being brave for reaching out. Being told to "commune with the butterflies"... I don't even know how to respond lol. I was told by my psychiatrist to "be fearless". That's why I was there in the first place; I'm the opposite of fearless lol.

You're not useless or a loser. You've been dealing with this for a long time. 17 years! So that proves that you're strong. You're still holding on and looking for solutions so that says a lot.

[Nancy17]

Welcome to the forum. :) thanks for sharing and being brave for reaching out. Being told to "commune with the butterflies"... I don't even know how to respond lol.

You bite your lip and try hard not to burst out laughing

Thanks for the kind words