13 year old and panics

[Flossy99]

Hi guys, Iv sufferered with anxiety and been taking medication for It for as long as i can remember. My 13 year old daughter has recently started feeling anxious. Tonight she has had a major panic attack which is so frightening to see, she says she can't remember things, feels confused and like she's not here. I know these are classics symptoms of a panic attack but it is so scary to watch. Does anyone have any experience of their children going though this and if so have you please got any advice, I feel so helpless when it happens 😢

[barbimay]

Hi Flossy99, welcome to the forum.
Sorry to hear what you and your daughter are going through. It is also very hard I know to watch your child suffer. Do you think these might be other manifestations of anxiety such as depersonalisation or derealisation? Would your daughter agree to talking to a doctor and therapist? Wishing you much strength.

[gypsylee]

Hi Flossy and welcome :)

I'm similar to you - had anxiety for as long as I can remember and been on and off meds for 20+ years. I have a 15yo daughter and she gets social anxiety mostly.. If we go to a shopping mall she starts getting shaky and is terrified of talking to salespeople and people at the register. She doesn't actually live with me atm (long story) and is with her father, who doesn't understand anxiety and says things to her like "you can't let fear rule your life like your mother does" *rolls eyes*. I mean I agree to a degree but he really has no empathy at all.

So the times I do see her (and when we talk online) I reassure her that social anxiety is quite common and she isn't a freak or anything. I've also told her if worst comes to worst she can see my psychiatrist, who actually sees a lot of teenagers because his specialty is eating disorders. I think it's helped and she's just started Year 11 at school and a hospitality course one day a week, so her anxiety can't be too bad.

The main advice I have is to be as open as you can with your daughter about anxiety/panic and reassure her that she's loved no matter what. I never really had any unconditional love from my parents, so I pushed myself so hard to achieve (to win their approval) that I ended up having a complete nervous breakdown at 19yo and using alcohol/drugs to try and cope. My dad wasn't too bad but my mother has admitted now that neither of them was emotionally supportive or unconditional. So I'm really hoping I've helped to break the cycle with my daughter.

All the best,
Gypsy x

P.S. Things like this video are good to show teenagers (I sent this one to my daughter): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCgm1xQa06c

[Flossy99]

Thank you so much for your reply, means a lot. Yes she definitely gets the depersonalisation/derealisationwhich is the thing that actually frightens her the most. She's much calmer today but is tired and white faced, it really takes it out of her. We are seeing a mindfulness tutor at beginning of march and we try to do apps on our phones. So horrible to see �� Xxx

[Flossy99]

Thank you Gypsy for ur thoughts, it certainly helps to know you're not alone. I'll check out these videos �� Xx