Spirraling in shame - i need help!

[nina073]

I am a senior in high school and i still feel tremendous sense of exposure and embarrassment just by walking in the corridors.
I have one friend who i stick to and talk to throughout the day. Sometimes my self esteem drops so low that i can barely look people let a alone communicate with them coherently.

Now, there is this guy who thinks i like him, but i don't. He has an inflated ego and a girlfriend, but still tries to get attention from me.His whole little group probably makes fun of me. This all makes me feel horrible.I constantly feel stressed and embarrassed, am not able to focus on anything and feel like everyone notices me.His entire class sometimes stares at me.

I know this sounds petty and immature, but i feel like i'm suffocating while in school. Currently, i meditate every day and try to comfort myself, but it's not enough to
help me deal with my serious lack of integrity and self respect, so i would appreciate your advice. Thank you!

[Kirk]

Welcome to the forum. All of us have had self-esteem issues at one time or another. I would try to not worry about what others think as you can't be really sure what they
are thinking anyway. I was picked on in school as I was at one time skinny and short and I matured late. I also at one time had a stuttering problem in elementary school and
I used to cry as people made fun of me. When people stared at me, I sometimes stared right back at them. Meditation is a good idea. Try to make new friends or concentrate more
on school and not the troublemakers.

[nina073]

Yes, you're right. I am done with high school in a few months anyway.
Thank you for the advice and i am really sorry you were picked on as a kid, must have been tough.
:-)

[MainerMikeBrown]

Many people who believe others don't think highly of them and have low self esteem try to mindread too much.

Nina, you can't read the minds of others. So don't assume that everyone feels a certain negative way about you.