Teafrenzy
01-27-2017, 01:20 PM
I am on my way to recovery, I am not 100% but I have seen a lot of improvement the past few months. That's the good news.
But even though my heart expects a full recovery, I have a few friends and acquaintances that have experienced panic disorders of their own. I don't think what they have is even as bad as what I went through, but of course that is highly subjective.
But what I do know is their personalities now..
A really good friend's wife went through panic disorder for 1 year before it finally went away. She's not the same exactly. There's a laundry list of things she will not eat or touch. She won't use regular toothpaste for example, she doesn't like fluoride. She won't use a microwave. There are many different food additives she won't touch. She won't eat sugar, artificial sweeteners or drink alcohol. Probably lots of other things.
While, this may actually be physically healthy I am not so sure it is mentally healthy. It comes from a place of worry. Going through panic disorders, you realize how vulnerable you can feel and I wonder if this sense of vulnerability ever fades. It's good to have some concern over your physical health, especially as you age, but not at the expense of extreme worry which can cause the anxiety disorders to come back.
I also have a second friend who went through panic disorder. After he has come out of it (not really sure if he has), his behavior is the polar opposite. He eats a lot of junk food, smokes cigarettes, drinks excessively, still uses marijuana and has even uses cocaine sometimes. When I talk to him he will say a lot of strange things. There isn't a conspiracy theory he doesn't think is untrue. He believes aliens live under the white house. He is insanely cheap though he makes a decent living and has a lot of wealth for his age (34). Ironically, he is also one of the most religious people I know. On New Year's eve he prays instead of parties. However, he does not give a cent to charity. I believe his piety comes from a sense of selfishness (in it's own way it makes you feel good) rather than believing the scripture.
I miss the old me. He was an awesome guy. He was a fun guy to be around. He always had a smile or a joke. People used to meet at my apartment before we went out for the night to pre-drink and have some fun. I was kind of the guy who planned the night around. I am worried, even if I recover 100%, that would be great but have I lost a piece of my soul forever?
l
But even though my heart expects a full recovery, I have a few friends and acquaintances that have experienced panic disorders of their own. I don't think what they have is even as bad as what I went through, but of course that is highly subjective.
But what I do know is their personalities now..
A really good friend's wife went through panic disorder for 1 year before it finally went away. She's not the same exactly. There's a laundry list of things she will not eat or touch. She won't use regular toothpaste for example, she doesn't like fluoride. She won't use a microwave. There are many different food additives she won't touch. She won't eat sugar, artificial sweeteners or drink alcohol. Probably lots of other things.
While, this may actually be physically healthy I am not so sure it is mentally healthy. It comes from a place of worry. Going through panic disorders, you realize how vulnerable you can feel and I wonder if this sense of vulnerability ever fades. It's good to have some concern over your physical health, especially as you age, but not at the expense of extreme worry which can cause the anxiety disorders to come back.
I also have a second friend who went through panic disorder. After he has come out of it (not really sure if he has), his behavior is the polar opposite. He eats a lot of junk food, smokes cigarettes, drinks excessively, still uses marijuana and has even uses cocaine sometimes. When I talk to him he will say a lot of strange things. There isn't a conspiracy theory he doesn't think is untrue. He believes aliens live under the white house. He is insanely cheap though he makes a decent living and has a lot of wealth for his age (34). Ironically, he is also one of the most religious people I know. On New Year's eve he prays instead of parties. However, he does not give a cent to charity. I believe his piety comes from a sense of selfishness (in it's own way it makes you feel good) rather than believing the scripture.
I miss the old me. He was an awesome guy. He was a fun guy to be around. He always had a smile or a joke. People used to meet at my apartment before we went out for the night to pre-drink and have some fun. I was kind of the guy who planned the night around. I am worried, even if I recover 100%, that would be great but have I lost a piece of my soul forever?
l