igotpocketz
01-24-2017, 09:41 AM
I have had anxiety attacks in the past that have lasted for around 2 to 4 weeks. They are typically about my eyes. I have a fear of going blind and I have a degenerative eye disease that causes my eyes to act up every once in while. While my eyes are acting up I literally can't thing of anything else from the moment I wake up. The only way I cope with this is by either watching T.V or spending time with my now ex-fiance. She always had the ability to calm me and make me forget about my issues and eventually I would forget about the issue and return to my normal thinking. Now about 3 months after my ex-fiance and I split I am having an anxiety attack. It started pretty simple. I was slightly worried about my relationship with my new girlfriend, I moved into an apartment by myself and I had small anxieties about all of that. I started getting sad when I was alone for long periods of time but was able to distract myself by going out with friends and stuff. Everyday it got a little worse. I now from wake to sleep am thinking about how I can't be happy and how this feels so bad. My anxieties are no longer about being alone in this apartment or my girlfriend but rather a constant fear that I can never have my thoughts back or that medication won't work. It is literally like I'm trapped in the worst constant fear. I know it is because I kept thinking about my anxiety and how it was going to get worse but now I have a constant feeling in my chest that won't go away. My heart feels heavy and feels erratic. I keep thinking that this might never go away, or how I don't feel like I can keep doing it. I am terrified that I can't fix it. When the focus was my eyes, I was able to keep living my life while just thinking about my eyes and I was able to distract myself. I met with my ex-fiance yesterday because she still cares about me and knows I am not doing well, and while I still had the thoughts to some degree, I didn't feel like I was dying or that this would never go away while I was with her. I have lost interest in all of my normal activities and I feel like I will never be able to think normally ever again. Has anyone had this type of anxiety or gone through something similar. I went to the ER so that I could possibly get some immediate help. They gave me vistaril which hasn't really helped. I meet with a psychiatrist tomorrow and am praying that she can give me something to take the edge off while also giving me something that should help long-term. Has anyone dealt with anything similar or have any input?