VintageDayDream
01-18-2017, 09:52 PM
Im going through alot right now with depression and anxiety. But lately my depression has been getting worse I won't eat some days, I don't want to talk or spend time with my friends it's just gotten so bad my emotions are everywhere I'm suicidal but the one thing that is probably making my depression get so bad is. My mom and step-dad are getting a divorce but he won't leave it seems like nothing is happening i know that divorces can sometimes take awhile but this is getting kinda annoying. I never liked him I met him when I was 8 and I didn't like him then either I haven't felt such hatred towards someone before.
So why I'm saying this is because I feel as if I just made everything worse for her today she picked me up from school and took me to the doctors and when they asked my mom to leave the room she does and the doctor starts asking me questions I answer them like usual yes I feel safe at home then she asks "has your step-dad ever hit you or anything" now I've been to counciling for a long time since I was 9 or 10 I've been to the doctors millions of times but every time they ask me that I say no. This time I say yes because it's true he's hit me with a remote and he's hit me for laughing at something he's hit me for Stupid reasons because I was just being a kid like I meant no harm he hit me over a video game that's with the remote. But anyway I say yes she had my mom come back in the room and them she tells her what I said that he's hit me before. Now my mom has really bad memory because of medicine and stuff but I remember vividly telling her "he me in the head with the remote" but if yes she doesn't remember that because when we left she was pissed which I understand someone hit your kid but she's mad at me because I never told my councilor or doctors ( we saw the doctors assistant) .
I regret saying it it just came out of my mouth even though it's true I feel like it's all my fault for everything I feel like a burden she does so much for me. Shes talking to her friend about me I was standing at the door listening trying not to cry because it hurts me to hear her cry and say that I might be making this up I never told her cause I was always told when they started dating don't be "selfish" "it's not always about you" I don't know what to do.
So why I'm saying this is because I feel as if I just made everything worse for her today she picked me up from school and took me to the doctors and when they asked my mom to leave the room she does and the doctor starts asking me questions I answer them like usual yes I feel safe at home then she asks "has your step-dad ever hit you or anything" now I've been to counciling for a long time since I was 9 or 10 I've been to the doctors millions of times but every time they ask me that I say no. This time I say yes because it's true he's hit me with a remote and he's hit me for laughing at something he's hit me for Stupid reasons because I was just being a kid like I meant no harm he hit me over a video game that's with the remote. But anyway I say yes she had my mom come back in the room and them she tells her what I said that he's hit me before. Now my mom has really bad memory because of medicine and stuff but I remember vividly telling her "he me in the head with the remote" but if yes she doesn't remember that because when we left she was pissed which I understand someone hit your kid but she's mad at me because I never told my councilor or doctors ( we saw the doctors assistant) .
I regret saying it it just came out of my mouth even though it's true I feel like it's all my fault for everything I feel like a burden she does so much for me. Shes talking to her friend about me I was standing at the door listening trying not to cry because it hurts me to hear her cry and say that I might be making this up I never told her cause I was always told when they started dating don't be "selfish" "it's not always about you" I don't know what to do.