pugsarecool
12-27-2016, 09:19 PM
Hey guys, I've been dealing with anxiety since the age of 13. I'm 21 now, and I had gotten my symptoms under pretty good control. It's been an ongoing battle the past 8 years.
Anxiety never totally left me, but I was able to recognize it coming on and chill myself out before things escalated much further. When I was younger, my anxiety would come about as nausea, light headedness, a feeling of being detached, and cold/sweaty hands and feet.
Back in early October, I got a job at, of all places, a call center. I'm not the most socially outgoing guy. I'm pretty quiet, which leads a lot of people to think I'm kind of an asshole. But once you get to know me, you can't shut me up and I'm a pretty fun guy to be around. I have a generally upbeat and can-do attitude and I'm quite articulate, which is sadly perfect for customer service jobs.
At the time of getting the job, I was just really excited to get away from retail. No more weekends, guaranteed full time, a pretty good paycheck (for not having any education after high school), and normal working hours. The company I work for only deals with businesses as well and not the general public, meaning that whoever is calling is currently on the clock at a business they either own or work for, so they can't get too nasty right? Boy, was I wrong. The past nearly 3 months at this job have been utter hell.
I feel I also need to add that things aren't the greatest internally at the company right now, which has spilled over onto our customers. I totally and 150% understand why a lot of the customers are mad, but a lot of the stuff they are furious about honestly really isn't a big deal and is resolved pretty easily. 95% of my calls every day are pretty negative, and there's been a lot of verbal abuse and even threats of violence against me. (Oh yeah, it's happened).
At first, my anxiety started to come back as my old symptoms. The nausea, cold hands, the usual stuff. Which I expected, not knowing whether my next call will be alright or if I'm going to be called an effing a-hole and have violence threatened against me if their late fee isn't waived. Slowly the old symptoms started to go away, and began manifesting as something new and even scarier: chest pain.
The chest pain comes on as soon as I get in my car to head to work, and stays with me pretty much throughout my whole day. And of course since I have anxiety, being a hypochondriac followed with that as well. I know the chest pain is from my anxiety, but I'm constantly worried I'm going to have a heart attack and die at a young age. I think about it and worry non stop. Last week I woke up at 3 am with the worst panic attack of my life. I awoke from a sound sleep feeling like I was dying, chest pain, nausea, ready to cry my eyes out, hyperventilating, the whole nine yards. Last thing I remember before I woke up? I was dreaming I was on the phone at work.
All the negativity has really started to effect me as well. I feel more and more beaten down every day. I'm constantly tired, and I've started to get a really negative outlook on my future. I feel stuck. I want to go back to technical college and get a job where I'm respected and doing something I enjoy, however I've been saving for an engagement ring for my girlfriend who's my everything, and also saving for a new car which I desperately need. I want to just wake up tomorrow, quit my job and reenroll in school, but I know that would not be the best option right now as I'm saving for some big things and the income right now is good enough to make me feel like I have no other option than to stay to get what I need.
The chest pain has really started to scare me, and my anxiety is back and almost worse than when I just had constant panic attacks all through high school. I really just need some advice on what to do and for someone to tell me it's gonna be alright, because right now I really don't feel like it's going to be.
Anxiety never totally left me, but I was able to recognize it coming on and chill myself out before things escalated much further. When I was younger, my anxiety would come about as nausea, light headedness, a feeling of being detached, and cold/sweaty hands and feet.
Back in early October, I got a job at, of all places, a call center. I'm not the most socially outgoing guy. I'm pretty quiet, which leads a lot of people to think I'm kind of an asshole. But once you get to know me, you can't shut me up and I'm a pretty fun guy to be around. I have a generally upbeat and can-do attitude and I'm quite articulate, which is sadly perfect for customer service jobs.
At the time of getting the job, I was just really excited to get away from retail. No more weekends, guaranteed full time, a pretty good paycheck (for not having any education after high school), and normal working hours. The company I work for only deals with businesses as well and not the general public, meaning that whoever is calling is currently on the clock at a business they either own or work for, so they can't get too nasty right? Boy, was I wrong. The past nearly 3 months at this job have been utter hell.
I feel I also need to add that things aren't the greatest internally at the company right now, which has spilled over onto our customers. I totally and 150% understand why a lot of the customers are mad, but a lot of the stuff they are furious about honestly really isn't a big deal and is resolved pretty easily. 95% of my calls every day are pretty negative, and there's been a lot of verbal abuse and even threats of violence against me. (Oh yeah, it's happened).
At first, my anxiety started to come back as my old symptoms. The nausea, cold hands, the usual stuff. Which I expected, not knowing whether my next call will be alright or if I'm going to be called an effing a-hole and have violence threatened against me if their late fee isn't waived. Slowly the old symptoms started to go away, and began manifesting as something new and even scarier: chest pain.
The chest pain comes on as soon as I get in my car to head to work, and stays with me pretty much throughout my whole day. And of course since I have anxiety, being a hypochondriac followed with that as well. I know the chest pain is from my anxiety, but I'm constantly worried I'm going to have a heart attack and die at a young age. I think about it and worry non stop. Last week I woke up at 3 am with the worst panic attack of my life. I awoke from a sound sleep feeling like I was dying, chest pain, nausea, ready to cry my eyes out, hyperventilating, the whole nine yards. Last thing I remember before I woke up? I was dreaming I was on the phone at work.
All the negativity has really started to effect me as well. I feel more and more beaten down every day. I'm constantly tired, and I've started to get a really negative outlook on my future. I feel stuck. I want to go back to technical college and get a job where I'm respected and doing something I enjoy, however I've been saving for an engagement ring for my girlfriend who's my everything, and also saving for a new car which I desperately need. I want to just wake up tomorrow, quit my job and reenroll in school, but I know that would not be the best option right now as I'm saving for some big things and the income right now is good enough to make me feel like I have no other option than to stay to get what I need.
The chest pain has really started to scare me, and my anxiety is back and almost worse than when I just had constant panic attacks all through high school. I really just need some advice on what to do and for someone to tell me it's gonna be alright, because right now I really don't feel like it's going to be.