I have never really had friends and I don't actually know how to make them

[ParkourDood]

I was bullied at school and around the neighbourhood when I was a kid and now that I'm in upper secondary school I have had people that kinda just let me be around when I'm at school but no real friends. No one for example has ever invited me anywhere and when I try to invite someone somewhere they don't want to go. I don't really know what to do because I always seem to screw up the hanging around buddies also for example I had a panic attack while giving a presentation and I just had to walk out of class and now no one in that class wants to talk to me. I'm kinda lost here and don't know what to do.

[tirediron]

What sort of hobbies, or interests do you have? There are clubs for virtually everything these days, maybe you could find a group of like minded people to hang out with. I had similar problems many years ago, (I'm 61 years old), especially the "screwing up when hanging around" part. I wanted friendship so much, I guess I tried to hard. It all worked out by the time I was in my early 20's. Don't give up on yourself, you sound like a good person.

[ParkourDood]

Well I like extreme sports but the people I hang around with when training are in their early twenties and I can't really fit in as a sixteen year old kid. And there aren't really other groups around other than some kids training camps where the kids are like eight to ten year olds.

[fixmybrokenmind]

Hey Parkour Dood sorry to hear of your struggles. I understand loneliness can be really tough I've been there. My best advice as cliche as it sounds is to be yourself.

If the people you are around don't like you they don't belong in your life. There are plenty of people who would gladly be your friend.

I recommend reading the book "how to win friends and influence people" it will give you some great starting points to make yourself more presentable.

Another mistake a lot of people looking to make friends make is the fact that they are too shy to ask new friends to hangout for the first time and just expect someone else to do it. Many opportunitiies for friendships are lost because nobody takes the first step.

Also you should understand that making quality friendships takes time and effort, if it is something you are keen on make it your number one priority in 2017. Join some sports teams, or any social group and really work on it.

If it makes you feel any better I don't have any of the same friends from highschool after moving to a new city but I have more friends than I ever did then anyways and they are all quality friendships.

[kconnors100]

Hi . . . I don't know if this is a possibility, but have you considered doing volunteer work? My friend's niece had somewhat of a similar issue with making friends in high school, but she volunteered to work with a youth group. She has met some very nice people in her own age group who also volunteer at the youth group. From what the niece tells me, it was a bit rough going at the beginning, but since all her peers were there doing volunteer work, they automatically had something in common. Since you like extreme sports, that suggests to me that you have some athletic abilities. You might not find a volunteer position working on extreme sports, but perhaps there are other organizations where you could put your athletic skills to good use while meeting a new group of friends. I was very much on the outside of every group when I was in high school and it can be a big challenge. But, because you took the "risk" of coming here and sharing your goals with us, I think you have quite a bit of strength to go and make this happen for you. When you can, let us know how you are doing. Take care, kc