Have U cured your anxiety?

[RichCM]

For those fortunate enough to have got past this, i wanted to ask a question.

Was alcohol a driver for your anxiety (like mine) and have you been able to go back to drinking some alcohol since you have cured your anxiety or are you know a tee-totaller?

[gypsylee]

I'm a "mostly recovered" alcoholic - I fall off the wagon from time to time but can pretty easily go without a drink now. The short answers to your questions are yes (it was a huge driver) and no (I can't drink any alcohol). So I guess I am a teetotaler! I'm okay with people drinking around me though and by no means do I preach sobriety.. I'm just wayyyy better off not drinking it myself.

:)

[RichCM]

I'm a "mostly recovered" alcoholic - I fall off the wagon from time to time but can pretty easily go without a drink now. The short answers to your questions are yes (it was a huge driver) and no (I can't drink any alcohol). So I guess I am a teetotaler! I'm okay with people drinking around me though and by no means do I preach sobriety.. I'm just wayyyy better off not drinking it myself.

:)

Thanks Gypsy for your response. I guess if your an alcoholic it is best to stay on the wagon! However I am not an alcoholic but do enjoy a glass of wine or beer occasionally. However just having one glass right now bring on anxiety. My hope is that one day I can get back to enjoying a beer or 2 and a glass of wine sometimes

[fixmybrokenmind]

Hey Rich, for me personally I was never a "big" drinker by todays standards BUT, on days where I did drink alcohol absolutely worsened my anxiety.

I spent two months backpacking Mexico on my own after leaving a 5 year relationship beyond my own choice. I ended up meeting so many people and just partied way more than usual for 6 weeks. Upon returning home I have never experienced anxiety so hard in my life, to the point where panic attacks had me mildly suicidal.

Besides on halloween I have not drank in months, I feel better anxiety wise than I have in years.

[Kirk]

I am not sure if their is an actual cure, but you can keep it at bay and live a full life with it.

[lemonspark]

I don't think I've cured it or if I ever will. But I have been able to live a better life and not let it have such a grasp on my life as it used to. I'm more open to new things now and talkative compared to how I was years ago. Slowly improving everyday.

[magicmarcus]

I don't know if ill ever be "CURED" but im 99% better than i was... and drinking was a HUGE part of my anxiety issues...

i put up some videos about this on a site i am working on about alcohol, anxiety, and mental health - if you want to check it out :-)

talksober.com/alcohol-and-anxiety/

[gypsylee]

I've done a fair bit of reading on addiction and:

"Alcohol is the ultimate stimulant for the brain. It moves the brain’s neurochemicals like no other drug on the planet. All this stimulation makes alcohol a powerful antidepressant and an even more powerful depressant once it wears off.

Of all the drugs known to man, there is only one capable of raising five, sometimes six, of the eight neurotransmitters that shape the way we experience life. That drug is alcohol. We in the detoxification profession refer to it as the mother of all drugs or the kick-ass drug. The pharmaceutical industry has never produced a drug as all encompassing in its effect as alcohol."

"Brain in Balance: Understanding the Genetics and Neurochemistry Behind Addiction and Sobriety" by Fredrick Von Stieff

[magicmarcus]

nice quote... will be saving that one. :-)

also like the terrence mckenna one. got any good talks from him you like? him ram dass and alan watts have helped me like crazy :-)

[gypsylee]

That book is one of the best I've read on addiction/brain chemistry. Some stuff just resonates with me and as someone with serious anxiety/depression and addictive tendencies I had many "uh huh" moments.

Nothing specific by McKenna I can think of, no. Alan Watts is definitely like a British version :) Ram Dass I haven't gotten into much. Carl Jung is my other guy for that stuff. I also posted a thread about this guy, Gary Z. McGee, in the articles section. He's got real talent.

Excerpt from one of his best articles:

"You understand that we live in dark times. You realize that the stories we’ve been telling each other are unhealthy stories that too many people believe in. Indeed, the landscape of the human condition is a wasteland filled with parched souls. But, disaster is to the disaster shaman as ashes are to the Phoenix. And so from the destruction of the old, you are beginning to build the foundation of the new. You are rewriting the story into a healthier version. You have the courage to rise up out of the mass-destruction of unsustainable men and dare to become a sustainable force of nature. Art is your medium. Creativity is your vehicle. Sacred play is your power, and not even death can prevent your message from being translated."

Third edit lol. This is the article.. Just read it again and it's gold https://fractalenlightenment.com/32950/issues/six-signs-you-may-be-a-disaster-shaman

[MainerMikeBrown]

Years ago I had issues with excessive anxiety. However, it wasn't caused by alcohol. Instead it was caused by psychiatric medications.

I had always been a nervous person. But years ago I was put on a combination of several meds, Lithium, Remeron, Risperdal, and Zyprexa. These meds not only made me nervous a lot, but they also caused my hands to tremor extremely bad everytime I got even just a little bit nervous. Hence, I'd get self conscious about it. It was a real snowball effect.

I did get drunk a couple of times back in the summer of '97. But that was several years before I decided to get help from a psychiatrist.

[Teafrenzy]

I have come along way into my recovery but I am reluctant to try any alcohol or other stimulants. I am going to wait until i feel 100%.

[gypsylee]

Years ago I had issues with excessive anxiety. However, it wasn't caused by alcohol. Instead it was caused by psychiatric medications.

I had always been a nervous person. But years ago I was put on a combination of several meds, Lithium, Remeron, Risperdal, and Zyprexa. These meds not only made me nervous a lot, but they also caused my hands to tremor extremely bad everytime I got even just a little bit nervous. Hence, I'd get self conscious about it. It was a real snowball effect.

I did get drunk a couple of times back in the summer of '97. But that was several years before I decided to get help from a psychiatrist.

That combination of meds is nasty! The first psych I saw (in 1993) put me on old-school anti-psychotics (can't remember the name) plus a few other things and after a while my eyes were literally rolling back in my head. I was a complete zombie and thought I was headed straight for the psych ward. Mum found a new shrink and he took me off everything except the Xanax. I still see that guy because he's good but that first one was horrible. I remember going back and telling him I felt worse and he basically just told me to up the doses. It was like a chemical lobotomy.

[Gemma89]

I'm suffering from such severe stress and pain that I need to get really out of it with alcohol/medication until I can even begin to try and meditate, which when I manage to do successfully pushes everything down for a while or helps me sleep. I just don't know how to cope with this anymore it's so strong, but I keep trying :'( :'(

[jessed03]

Sorry to hear you're still suffering, Gemma.

Are you on medication? Did your GP offer you any CBT? Those are usually the first things UK doctors prescribe for anxiety, and research has shown together they're quite effective.

If you have enough focus to read, I have a good anxiety ebook on my hard drive I can upload for you. It's something I've gone back to several times over the years. It's very comprehensive.

Keep on hanging in there. The darkness won't last forever. :)

[Ponder]

I found something more healing than a cure ... I found a way to accept and live with with my condition.

[Gemma89]

Sorry to hear you're still suffering, Gemma.

Are you on medication? Did your GP offer you any CBT? Those are usually the first things UK doctors prescribe for anxiety, and research has shown together they're quite effective.

If you have enough focus to read, I have a good anxiety ebook on my hard drive I can upload for you. It's something I've gone back to several times over the years. It's very comprehensive.

Keep on hanging in there. The darkness won't last forever. :)

Hi, I'm on venlafaxine but that has to be increased and lorazepam but I haven't got many left :'( I still need to get the initial assessment done with the a psychiatrist as I went there and there was an incident that day so they couldn't do it. :s Even after that I have been told there is a waiting list, don't know how long that would be :'(

I don't have any focus right now but thank you, I will try to look at that when I can if you want to upload it for me

[Gemma89]

I feel like my mind and body has gone into a complete state of shock again, it's absolutely terrifying :'( Just wish I'd never been born then this madness and suffering would never have happened. I need help but don't know where to turn to now :'(

[jessed03]

Are your attacks caused by anything in particular, Gemma?

[Gemma89]

By the pain everywhere and feeling out of control and hopeless. It's a vicious circle. I don't know :'(

[magicmarcus]

hi gemma,

it is a vicious cycle... one you do not have to play.

it is in the giving up that things change.

not giving up like... i am going to give up so i don't have to feel like this or i'm giving up because i want to get that.

its a total and utter... i give up.

my thoughts do not control me because i am not my thoughts
my emotions do not own me because i am not my emotions

giving up being the thinker, being the feeler, being the thoughts and just letting these things be.

what is doubly hard is the difference between content of mind and working of mind.

the content of mind says... its about this or that or whatever topic is making you uneasy.

the working of mind... is the way your mind works... ie anxious, prone to depression, scattered, or whatever... the working of the mind just happens because its the way we think... it doesn't matter what we are thinking about... that working will spin it how it wants to spin it.

then we are left thinking the thoughts... this, that, this, that, and we still think the problem is the thoughts.

the problem was never the thoughts... it was the working...

and the working isn't really a problem... its a process.

so if the problem is not the thoughts, or the process... and i am not my thoughts and feelings.

i am free to just BE.

keep in mind... we think in language... language is made up... if we did not have language... what would we use to think?

could this anxiety and obsessive thoughts be a software (language) problem?

the freedom comes when we give up hanging on to the thoughts and stories that we cling to about ourselves and just accept... i am so much more than my deepest thought about myself because i am something more than language and thoughts and feelings.

i am truly saddened that you feel the way you do right now because i remember how tough it is to deal with and move thru... i also know that the solution to what you need has been YOU all along.

i feel like a rambling jackwad lol but ill keep going because perhaps it helps someone out there lol

the point is... we came out of this world with no premade ideas of what life should be... as long as we were fed warm and not falling... we were good.

all along the way we picked up ideas of what is fair, what is not fair, what is good, what is not good... and we stockpiled these up and now they have become part of our life and our stories... i have anxiety is a story we tell ourselves... i am anxious another one... i am sad, i am depressed, ect...

these things add to suffering and bad feelings of hopelessness...

fact... we are out of control... and that is ok.

breathe... you are ok... and remember... anxiety and panic is worse when we name it and fight it.

learn to be with it... calm yourself thru it... and listen to good stuff every day... it will drop... may not go away... but now you don't have to BE panicy or BE anxious...

BE YOU... and watch the anxiety and panicy stuff...

well this stuff helps me... but im probably more crazy than everone on this forum combined ;)

if you want to hear my story of anxiety, life maddness and alcohol check out talksober.com/marcus-story-a-successful-functioning-alcoholic/

[Gemma89]

hi gemma,

it is a vicious cycle... one you do not have to play.

it is in the giving up that things change.

not giving up like... i am going to give up so i don't have to feel like this or i'm giving up because i want to get that.

its a total and utter... i give up.

my thoughts do not control me because i am not my thoughts
my emotions do not own me because i am not my emotions

giving up being the thinker, being the feeler, being the thoughts and just letting these things be.

what is doubly hard is the difference between content of mind and working of mind.

the content of mind says... its about this or that or whatever topic is making you uneasy.

the working of mind... is the way your mind works... ie anxious, prone to depression, scattered, or whatever... the working of the mind just happens because its the way we think... it doesn't matter what we are thinking about... that working will spin it how it wants to spin it.

then we are left thinking the thoughts... this, that, this, that, and we still think the problem is the thoughts.

the problem was never the thoughts... it was the working...

and the working isn't really a problem... its a process.

so if the problem is not the thoughts, or the process... and i am not my thoughts and feelings.

i am free to just BE.

keep in mind... we think in language... language is made up... if we did not have language... what would we use to think?

could this anxiety and obsessive thoughts be a software (language) problem?

the freedom comes when we give up hanging on to the thoughts and stories that we cling to about ourselves and just accept... i am so much more than my deepest thought about myself because i am something more than language and thoughts and feelings.

i am truly saddened that you feel the way you do right now because i remember how tough it is to deal with and move thru... i also know that the solution to what you need has been YOU all along.

i feel like a rambling jackwad lol but ill keep going because perhaps it helps someone out there lol

the point is... we came out of this world with no premade ideas of what life should be... as long as we were fed warm and not falling... we were good.

all along the way we picked up ideas of what is fair, what is not fair, what is good, what is not good... and we stockpiled these up and now they have become part of our life and our stories... i have anxiety is a story we tell ourselves... i am anxious another one... i am sad, i am depressed, ect...

these things add to suffering and bad feelings of hopelessness...

fact... we are out of control... and that is ok.

breathe... you are ok... and remember... anxiety and panic is worse when we name it and fight it.

learn to be with it... calm yourself thru it... and listen to good stuff every day... it will drop... may not go away... but now you don't have to BE panicy or BE anxious...

BE YOU... and watch the anxiety and panicy stuff...

well this stuff helps me... but im probably more crazy than everone on this forum combined ;)

if you want to hear my story of anxiety, life maddness and alcohol check out talksober.com/marcus-story-a-successful-functioning-alcoholic/

Hello Marcus, thanks for your post as I find it quite intriguing and relaxing to read it. Especially the part about language. Sorry I can't go into it further right now as I've been in a bad state, I just wanted to reply :'(

No, as for the crazy one I think I would hold that title. If you saw me in real life with mascara running down my whole face tonight and talking like a lunatic anyone would feel completely normal, lol :s

[magicmarcus]

remember... crazy is just one of those language things ;)

its all patterns... people look for patterns to describe what they think is going on. crazy is a pattern people try to box others into.

nothing more than language describing patterns.

normal is more often than not just pretending... i did that for far too long... done pretending... we can be real and let the mascara run when it needs too. (not that i wear mascara lol i'm pretty enough already ha)

here is a little video i did on anxiety... let me know what you think


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LqWRCanoiY

hope you start feeling better soon... and if not reach out or write me or something... we can talk crazy together lol

[gypsylee]

Hey Marcus.. I'm watching the video :)

As a recovered alcoholic it makes me realise how far I've come. I've been at that stage where the alcohol doesn't even decrease the anxiety and it's honestly a living hell. I ended up in ICU for a week with acute pancreatitis in 2008 (my second episode) and hospital for another two weeks after that. It's left me with insulin-dependent diabetes because it killed the insulin-producing cells in my pancreas. I see it as a blessing in disguise though because it made me face the alcoholism relatively early (35yo).

I don't go to AA anymore but I have the serenity prayer stuck to my fridge. That thing is one of the most useful sayings ever.

[mindful]

Alcohol and coffee boost your anxiety. Don't drink that

[Gemma89]

Hi Marcus, thank you for the video. I'll watch it soon but I think I'm not ready at the moment. Right now I've had 2 hours sleep in the last couple of days, I went to bed exhausted and convinced I will sleep now, but my brain decided it was smart to wake me up again after only 1 hour :'( I was laying there trying to just relax but having horrible paranoid thoughts like I'm the only one who exists, nothing else is actually real..that's how I feel all the time but it can get more intense. I don't know how to describe it. Also being absolutely terrified about death and being unable to stop obsessing about it for some reason. :'( I feel so angry about how stupid the 'sub conscious' really is, which is where the problem is coming from. I read on my nlp course it has the intelligence of a 3 year old believe it or not. So amazingly stubborn too :s I've got horrible symptoms and feeling so ill, it's terrifying so I don't know what to do apart from drink and have my medication right now. I'm going to try a Binaural Sleep Meditation I found soon. Of course I'm still fighting it and trying to detach myself from this monster. Sometimes that's easier with alcohol for some reason as it slows down my reactions somewhat if that makes sense.

Thanks, that would be good especially if you really want someone crazy to talk to. So you picked right there

[gypsylee]

Hang in there Gemma!!

I'm sitting here listening to Alan Watts' stuff. You sound like a philosophical person so you might appreciate him.. https://youtu.be/wU0PYcCsL6o

This is a good one: https://youtu.be/7JOdPqdXZ8Y

[Gemma89]

Hi gypsylee, thank you for the videos. The first one made me cry, don't know why. :'( I'll watch all of them, they look brilliant

[gypsylee]

Hi gypsylee, thank you for the videos. The first one made me cry, don't know why. :'( I'll watch all of them, they look brilliant

You know, I think I cried when I first saw that one :) I watched another one that Ponder posted the other night when I hadn't slept much either and was really on edge, and cried as well. He's really therapeutic.

[magicmarcus]

watts has helped me immensely... also check out ram dass.

[jessed03]

Hi Marcus, thank you for the video. I'll watch it soon but I think I'm not ready at the moment. Right now I've had 2 hours sleep in the last couple of days, I went to bed exhausted and convinced I will sleep now, but my brain decided it was smart to wake me up again after only 1 hour :'( I was laying there trying to just relax but having horrible paranoid thoughts like I'm the only one who exists, nothing else is actually real..that's how I feel all the time but it can get more intense. I don't know how to describe it. Also being absolutely terrified about death and being unable to stop obsessing about it for some reason. :'( I feel so angry about how stupid the 'sub conscious' really is, which is where the problem is coming from. I read on my nlp course it has the intelligence of a 3 year old believe it or not. So amazingly stubborn too :s I've got horrible symptoms and feeling so ill, it's terrifying so I don't know what to do apart from drink and have my medication right now. I'm going to try a Binaural Sleep Meditation I found soon. Of course I'm still fighting it and trying to detach myself from this monster. Sometimes that's easier with alcohol for some reason as it slows down my reactions somewhat if that makes sense.

Thanks, that would be good especially if you really want someone crazy to talk to. So you picked right there

The subconscious is amazing. It can cause great pain at times, but it'll also be what gets you back to health. Every decision you've ever made originated from there. Conscious choice and "free will" is essentially an illusion. Brain scans have shown human beings make decisions in their subconscious before they've had a chance to rationalize them. It's like this incredible super computer analyzing all the factors in your life to reach the most congruent outcome in any given situation.

The problem is your subconscious is making decisions based upon unhelpful variables. Emotional turmoil, unhealthy beliefs, trauma, lack of knowledge, physical and chemical imbalances, etc, have all been input into the subconscious like digits into a calculator, and the results you're getting from this equation are predictably miserable. It's not your fault, each one of us here has been down that path and has experienced similar misery.

But over time, as your knowledge of your condition improves, your coping mechanisms improve, your traumas are worked through, your beliefs changed, etc, those different healthier variables will lead your subconscious to decide on a different course of action. You'll default back to calmness.

Just keep hanging in there and chipping away!

[gypsylee]

watts has helped me immensely... also check out ram dass.

I watched a heap yesterday (the one in my signature I watched about 3 times it's that good). That guy just gets it :)

[Ponder]

The subconscious is amazing. It can cause great pain at times, but it'll also be what gets you back to health. Every decision you've ever made originated from there. Conscious choice and "free will" is essentially an illusion. Brain scans have shown human beings make decisions in their subconscious before they've had a chance to rationalize them. It's like this incredible super computer analyzing all the factors in your life to reach the most congruent outcome in any given situation.

The problem is your subconscious is making decisions based upon unhelpful variables. Emotional turmoil, unhealthy beliefs, trauma, lack of knowledge, physical and chemical imbalances, etc, have all been input into the subconscious like digits into a calculator, and the results you're getting from this equation are predictably miserable. It's not your fault, each one of us here has been down that path and has experienced similar misery.

But over time, as your knowledge of your condition improves, your coping mechanisms improve, your traumas are worked through, your beliefs changed, etc, those different healthier variables will lead your subconscious to decide on a different course of action. You'll default back to calmness.

Just keep hanging in there and chipping away!

That's pretty much how I made my transformation Jesse. I am interested in anything that helps me hone my subconscious mind. Becoming skilled in this area also stops us from being victims to a sloth of advertising and ultimately the system. First point of call for me was unlearning, then by self education.