Depression, Anxiety, and ADHD Oh My!!

[Anxiety_Potato]

Hey all, so I was looking for some advice on something that has been a large struggle in my family of two. So I suffer from severe anxiety and chronic depression. My wife struggles with severe ADHD as well as mild depression and anxiety. This is a massive struggle on account that I can in no way relate to her ADHD in the least bit. I've tried understanding it but theres so much misunderstandings between us because of it, it makes things difficult, especially since i get frustrated which brings on another of my week to month long depressive episodes. I guess my question is aimed to those who live with someone with ADHD. What are some ways you're able to bring some sort of understanding to the other individual as well as being able to cope with both dealing with your ones own mental illness and trying to juggle at the same time the ones of the other spouse? Thanks so much!

Peace,

Anxious_Potato

[Anne1221]

I would suggest you read up on ADHD and learn about it. My brother has it and I've noticed we have to just leave him alone sometimes because he gets distracted when too many things are going on.

[Anxiety_Potato]

Yeah I've been doing that, it's just hard for me to put myself in her shoes. She had a really hard time before understanding my depression until she experienced it in a small portion. I've been trying to understand what it's like for her but it's just so hard to do so, but ill keep it up. Hopefully ill be able to understand her more, it sure would solve 89% of our conflicts.

[ConfidenceBuilder]

Hi Anxiety_Potato,

To understand ADHD and how it appears so you. It may seem that the ADHD comes across as disrespectful because the opposite party may not be fully focused on what you are saying. This being said would agitate any depression feelings that would arise because you are feeling disrespected. There is a sure way to address this though. Simply tell yourself that you are loved and that your spouse doesn't do these things to hurt you or irritate you. The way we put in our family, my spouse is not my enemy. If you start to see that your spouse is being distracted gently readjust the focus back to your conversation, by using catch words like this is important, or asking clarifying questions like what do you think about this situation? This will bring the other parties attention back to your conversation.

[saltandlight828]

It sounds like you both have a lot going on and that can be very stressful on you and your marriage. Kudos to you for trying to understand your wife's ADHD and utilizing resources such as books. From what you have said it sounds like you both are struggling to communicate which leads to misunderstanding, frustration, and then depression. Communication between spouses can be hard enough without the extra layer of mental health added on. Maybe attending some marital counseling and learning some new communication styles with a third party mediator may be helpful? Keep on trying eventually you will figure out what works for you both.