Fear of Missing Out

[sarsaparilla]

I hadn't had a panic attack for 2 weeks and last night my anxiety spiked for the first time in recent history. It happened while I was reading the graphic novel entitled The Alcoholic by Jonathan Ames and Dean Haspiel. Every time the narrator described his experience going to parties or having success in school and sports I could feel myself getting uneasy. I didn't go to a university, I took community college classes so I didn't really have that college experience of partying and meeting new people. In high school I would spend the weekends with my friends and we would drink but we rarely held parties and almost never went or were invited to anyone else's parties. There's a part of me that feels so inferior because growing up I didn't have this experience. I'd say I was pretty unpopular in high school, but I was even more socially anxious which inhibited my social possibilities. I think I missed out on a lot, which hurts. Even now I think I'm missing out on things because I'm too scared of social interaction. I have only 1 friend I see regularly. I have support groups as well that I go to, but that's not exactly a party lol.

I guess I'm looking for ideas on how to move on from this pain. The past is the past and I can't change it, maybe just re-frame it and move forward. I don't want this feeling of inferiority to other people's social lives continue to cause me anxiety, yearning, and sadness. Do people here have similar experiences? Thanks everyone.

[RossySoonDone]

As someone who has partied quite a bit and a current university student, your views of party/university life are very fantasied! As humans we always tend to romanticise things especially if we're yet to experience them. I promise you that being popular/unpopular or not attending many parties will not effect your personal development with regards to making friends etc. Thats all just anxious thinking, remove the anxiety and you'll find a personality you never knew existed. Do you know how much interesting shit you've probably got to say? You're reading a graphic novel for starters imagine how many other people read them. Thats the kind of social activity that may suit you personally.

I can tell you're cool af, remove the anxiety and let your true self blossom!!

[Kirk]

I would not worry about it, as all of our life experiences are different and it does not accomplish anything to compare
your life to others.

[The Intolerable Kid]

I agree with Kirk, your description of how you spent your time in community college sounds fine to me.

[sarsaparilla]

@RossySoonDone: Thanks, yeah it's probably anxious thinking rather than something based in reality. I think it stems from my own insecurities and I'm guilty of thinking the grass is greener on the other side.

@The Intolerable Kid & Kirk: Thanks you guys, that helps. :) There's no sense in comparing myself to people, just trying to be better than I was yesterday.

[EmilyPineda36]

i agree 100%, comparing your life to someone elses is the biggest mistake...focus on you and the world will open up like an oyster :)

[rebeccamcclellan]

I agree with you emily. Be yourself and be positive. Positive vibes attract all good and positive things.