obizues
10-29-2008, 05:43 AM
I've been having horrible anxiety for the last 3 months. At first I thought my wife was going to be perfect to help me since she had anxiety badly when she was younger. Then I slowly started to realize that she wasn't helping, in fact she was making things much worse. Now that I've started to think about it, I think she was the reason I started to have these anxiety problems to begin with.
When she gets home from work she complains about any little detail being off about the house. I could have cleaned the whole house top to bottom, but if I forgot to throw out a pizza box in the fridge she'll take it, slam it on the ground, and complain about how I don't do anything. Keep in mind I'm working right now too, and I'm trying to figure out this anxiety which is not exactly easy.
When I'm starting to notice that I'm getting close to an all-out panic attack I ask her to come sit close and just talk to me. Every single time she says, 'I don't want to' and 'You need to stop acting like a kid and do it yourself.' Not to mention she keeps saying 'its all in your head, you want to feel like this.'
When I feel good and want to go out, she'll say she can't she has too much to do. Then a few minutes later her friend will call up and she'll be out the door without even saying so much as 'bye' to me. Or if a friend doesn't call she'll just sit all night, refuse to talk, or immediately go to bed.
I understand that she is probably stressed from the situation, but at the same time she's not DOING anything to help. I think it's a little absurd to say she's exhausted from not doing anything.
Basically I don't think she's the main underlying thing of my stress, but she is definetely a very large part of it now. Is this the point to pack up my things and leave, or ask her to leave? I am just at a loss on what to do here, all I want is to move forward and stop being a slave to this anxiety. Based on her past recent behaviors I have no problem doing something as extreme as separating ourselves. It's not like she's providing me a positive reassurance with my anxiety, in fact I notice I have more panic attacks when she's around.
Any input would be appreciated.
When she gets home from work she complains about any little detail being off about the house. I could have cleaned the whole house top to bottom, but if I forgot to throw out a pizza box in the fridge she'll take it, slam it on the ground, and complain about how I don't do anything. Keep in mind I'm working right now too, and I'm trying to figure out this anxiety which is not exactly easy.
When I'm starting to notice that I'm getting close to an all-out panic attack I ask her to come sit close and just talk to me. Every single time she says, 'I don't want to' and 'You need to stop acting like a kid and do it yourself.' Not to mention she keeps saying 'its all in your head, you want to feel like this.'
When I feel good and want to go out, she'll say she can't she has too much to do. Then a few minutes later her friend will call up and she'll be out the door without even saying so much as 'bye' to me. Or if a friend doesn't call she'll just sit all night, refuse to talk, or immediately go to bed.
I understand that she is probably stressed from the situation, but at the same time she's not DOING anything to help. I think it's a little absurd to say she's exhausted from not doing anything.
Basically I don't think she's the main underlying thing of my stress, but she is definetely a very large part of it now. Is this the point to pack up my things and leave, or ask her to leave? I am just at a loss on what to do here, all I want is to move forward and stop being a slave to this anxiety. Based on her past recent behaviors I have no problem doing something as extreme as separating ourselves. It's not like she's providing me a positive reassurance with my anxiety, in fact I notice I have more panic attacks when she's around.
Any input would be appreciated.