Thinking that people are looking at me caused my social anxiety

[golfgurl143]

Every since i was 9 i always had a problem with people looking at me. In 5th grade i noticed that whenever i went to school i would start sweating under my armpits, i didn't know what was wrong with me and my parents just said it was puberty. Once i entered middle school i noticed how shy i was and how much i used to sweat and i also started to have panic attacks and then i realized that i had anxiety. Fast forward to high school.. I still sweat and have heart palpitations whenever i go to public places (especially if i have to talk to people) I honestly don't know why it's happening since i came out of my shell, and i have a lot of friends. Is there any way i can overcome social anxiety? Since i still have that "Everyone is looking at me/judging me" mentality in my brain?

[metal4life]

If you have been diagnosed with it, then its really hard t overcome it:

1) think positive
2) build up self esteem
3) dont think
Well at least these are a few things we will work on! Trying it here an
then and i can say its imposible, at least in my situation.

GL Marc

[MainerMikeBrown]

Golfgirl, my self esteem is better than it used to be, and that's why I'm less concerned about what others think of me.

The reason I mention this is that you can do the same. You can improve your self esteem, which I think will lower your anxieties about others watching you.

It won't happen overnight. But by feeling better about yourself, you won't care as much about others watching you.

[Spider666]

Every since i was 9 i always had a problem with people looking at me. In 5th grade i noticed that whenever i went to school i would start sweating under my armpits, i didn't know what was wrong with me and my parents just said it was puberty. Once i entered middle school i noticed how shy i was and how much i used to sweat and i also started to have panic attacks and then i realized that i had anxiety. Fast forward to high school.. I still sweat and have heart palpitations whenever i go to public places (especially if i have to talk to people) I honestly don't know why it's happening since i came out of my shell, and i have a lot of friends. Is there any way i can overcome social anxiety? Since i still have that "Everyone is looking at me/judging me" mentality in my brain?
You need to build yourself up from the inside. Even if everyone actually IS judging (which they're not) then so what? You need to detach yourself from that feeling. Let them judge if that makes them happy. In reality everyone is so self absorbed with how THEY come across. I read the following somewhere:

Up until your thirties you're worried what people think of you. Then when you reach your forties you stop giving a shit what people think. And when you reach your sixties you realize that no one was thinking about you in the first place. Everyone is just obsessed with themselves!

[Kirk]

I agree with Spider666.

[relife]

Hello, I actually struggle through the same thing.

I was just wondering what goes through your head when other people are looking at you?

Is there something you don't like about yourself?

Because there are things i am unhappy with about myself and these are the reasons why i get so nervous when people are looking at me.

[Kirk]

When you get to my age, you pretty much could care less what others think about you.

[Zena]

An important question was raised above: is there something you don't like about yourself? If you're assuming people are thinking negatively about you when they look at you, work on thinking more positively about yourself when you look at you. Mind reading is an EXTREMELY easy habit to fall into when you have social anxiety. Believe me - I know. However, if you try to focus more on what's good about yourself (and I bet there are more positive qualities there than you give yourself credit for), your mind won't go to a negative place so easily when others are looking at you.

[John98]

I struggle with this with every encounter I have with anyone, be it in my house, in class or on the street. Even though I have a extreme problem with it still and I made an account for this reason and others. I found that focusing on my breathing helps. A few days ago I found an amazing TED talk that explains the power of controlled breathing and how it switches the fight/flight response to a rest/digest, which lowers anxiety and returns you to a more normal state. I don't have enough points to link it but the TED talk is called Breathe to Heal by Max Strom.
Also I read something on a forum the other days which helped my paranoia of people judging me, is that whenever those feeling happen, to just watch them like your watching a movie. Mindful meditation helps too.

[Kirk]

No one is perfect as we are all human.

[Agent20k]

Every since i was 9 i always had a problem with people looking at me. In 5th grade i noticed that whenever i went to school i would start sweating under my armpits, i didn't know what was wrong with me and my parents just said it was puberty. Once i entered middle school i noticed how shy i was and how much i used to sweat and i also started to have panic attacks and then i realized that i had anxiety. Fast forward to high school.. I still sweat and have heart palpitations whenever i go to public places (especially if i have to talk to people) I honestly don't know why it's happening since i came out of my shell, and i have a lot of friends. Is there any way i can overcome social anxiety? Since i still have that "Everyone is looking at me/judging me" mentality in my brain?

I know of a little technique you can use to help with the fear that people are looking at you. The next time you are in a public place, try slowly looking around you at other people; not slowly meaning in "slow motion", but just look around a little more slowly than usual. If you look at other people around you fast, by moving your eyes fast and/or turning your head really fast, it tends to cause you even more anxiety in the moment. Instead, try to slowly look around at people nearby you in a public place to see if they are looking or staring at you. This takes time and practice in order to reduce your anxiety and to prove to yourself that people aren't really staring, but eventually if you keep working on this and practicing it in public, you'll eventually see that people aren't really staring or looking at you and judging.

If it's too challenging to do this at first, ask a close friend or family member to go with you somewhere and do this in public, so that you have their support and you don't feel as comfortable as you would be in a public place by yourself.

[UtterlyRoss]

I get you, I know exactly how this feels... I think it stems from caring so much about everyone else around us, that we forget to give ourselves any attention. Almost like a crippling case of empathy.

The key to making things better, and it definitely isn't a quick fix, is to recognise that you are just as important as the people around you. You don't have to be selfish to acknowledge your own self-worth. Be confident in you.

I agree with metal4life's third point. People with social anxiety tend to overthink everything, we obsess over how we are appearing to others. Often this is how we're wired, so rather than trying to turn off your thoughts altogether - work out strategies to distract yourself whilst carrying out everyday activities. Think about something other than how much you're sweating or if you've gone red in the face. Decide what you're going to make for dinner instead, that sort of thing.

Once you manage to put that into practice you may well find that you sweat less, use this as positive motivation. Push your comfort zones.

I wish you all the best, and you're welcome to get in touch.

[maximadam]

Sometimes people do stare at me actually. Because I'm a racial minority where I live mostly. I use it as an opportunity to train my confidence. I force myself to maintain eye contact until they look away. I endure the anxiety and practice accepting it. Doing things like this has helped me immensely.

[iwanttobeok]

Super bump xp
Maybe you're just beautiful! People look at each other all of the time. Just stand straighter and you'll already feel more confident.

[TuesdayBlue]

Hey there
A little trick I've learned: Pay attention to NOT looking people in the eye when you're out and about. when you're talking to someone, that's different, but people with social anxieties tend to be hyper vigilant to others, so purposefully avoiding the face region goes a long way. Give it a try!

[gypsylee]

Good work (super) bumping this. Social phobia is my thing and I'll just add that from an evolutionary viewpoint it makes sense because:

a) In prehistoric times strangers from other tribes might kill you;
b) You wouldn't get far in prehistoric times if you were banished from the tribe. Therefore we are always comparing ourselves to others and fearful of being excluded, embarrassing ourselves etc.

So that trip to the supermarket could be deadly according to the older parts of your brain (the Amygdala*). The trick is learning to use the newer part of the brain (the Cortex*) and realising it won't be deadly.

*Very basic neuroscience.

[iwanttobeok]

What did the deli ever do to you?