Advice for overcoming fear that's heavily interfering with my life?

[username300]

I'm very new to this, so I apologize if I'm violating any protocols or anything. I'd also like to apologize if this is lengthy. This is my first time doing anything remotely close to this. I never really open up to anyone, but I'm pretty desperate, so I figured I'd try to find help on the internet, where it's anonymous. Anyway, I recently graduated high school in June, and I was going to go to college, but before classes began, I decided to take a year off because I was so depressed. Anyway, I now need to start applying to colleges again for next year, but in order to do so, I need to contact my high school guidance counselor and teachers for transcripts and letters of recommendation and such, but after three months of procrastinating, I've been unable to convince myself to contact them, as I'm too anxious about doing it and too afraid of what they'll think of me. I was the valedictorian, and I always felt that everyone expected greatness from me, and I've found it very difficult to deal with that pressure. If anyone can provide me with advice to overcome this and contact them, I'd really appreciate it. I've been unable to reason with myself, and considering the logic of the situation is very ineffective. I'm sure many of you can relate to this, but it's very infuriating to have anxiety in situations where you're very aware of how irrational it is. Every time I think about it, I feel nauseous and end up procrastinating. Like I said, it's been three months, and I've already missed the early action deadlines for applications, which I believe are supposed to give a bit of an advantage. I'd really appreciate any help. Thanks a lot.

[gypsylee]

Hey and welcome :)

I can definitely relate to the pressure thing and looking back it's what really set off my anxiety and depression. My mother was relentless in her expectations of me. I finally broke down at 19 and had to take a year off university. I'm 43 now and I still get really bad anxiety.

Anyway, I hope you find some help here. I don't really have any advice at the moment, just wanted to say hi.

Cheers,
Gypsy x

[username300]

Thanks a lot for your response. It's nice to relate to someone.

[BlessedBackyard]

I can certainly relate to the pressures. I was valedictorian and voted most likely to succeed in high school. I went straight to college because it was the expected thing, but looking back, I wish I had taken a year off. I had no idea what career I wanted or what to major in and had no discipline for the rigors of college. I made good grades in my college classes, but I didn't get as much out of them as I could. I studied to pass tests instead of studying to learn. So I admire that you took time off when you needed it. I think that decision, alone, took guts. Anyways, one catalyst for my anxiety was the pressures I put on myself, too. A psychologist was really beneficial, as he helped me come to terms with the fact that I don't need to live up to others' expectations.

We all define greatness differently, and I still have no idea what "most likely to succeed" is supposed to mean. Rich? Happy? Famous? I'm happy, for the most part, even if I'm not where I had planned to be at this point.

Your teachers probably aren't thinking anything negative about your decision. Waiting a year for college is not a bad thing, and they recognize you have plenty of time for "greatness." If it helps, I substituted in my old high school's guidance office for awhile and saw tons of transcript requests. No one made comments about any of them, except the occasional "good for them."

[RoadToRecovery]

Try to take a few days to relax before making the call. Try this out: twice a day for about 30 minutes, listen to some relaxing music and try your best to think of things that make you relax. This will help your body to calm down. Practice deep diaphragmatic breathing when you can. This activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which produces the "calm response". Try to avoid caffeine and sugar.

I would also highly recommend a memebership at anxietycentre (dot com). Only $9 a month and a money back guarantee. Best thing I've ever done with my anxiety. I understand what you are going through completely. My anxiety has been so bad that even talking to people I know and love like my wife, parents, and best friends became terrifying for me. This site can help. If you don't believe me, google "anxietycentre testimonials" and see for yourself.