Panic attacks that led to mental health fears

[Kerflower]

Hello everyone. I've been dealing with panic disorder for a bit now and I've managed to almost get through it except there's one thing that's been stopping me from doing so. I hope this post isn't too long.

Basically I've always had anxiety for as long as I remember and always been a bit of a hypochondriac. Around 2 months ago I had a bad panic attack with horrible physical symptoms (shortness of breath, numbness in body, shaking, etc.). This led to me having a fear of having another panic attack, which in turn resulted in constant anxiety and even more panic attacks. Throughout this time I went through bouts of depression and physical/mental exhaustion. Eventually I learned breathing techniques that stopped the physical symptoms I would get when I had a panic attack, which helped immensely. The problem was that although the attacks weren't as severe, I would still get this shot of adrenaline throughout my body and intense fear which made me feel like I was losing control or going crazy. So I decided to search up these "feelings of going crazy" which wasn't the best idea..

This is where my main problem lies. I started reading symptoms of mental illnesses like psychosis, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder along with people's first person experience with these diseases which just fueled my anxieties. If anything the only reason I was having panic attacks at this point was because I was reading so much about all these things. It also didn't help that I was going through some bad derealization.

Fast forward to now and I'm doing a bit better but I just can't shake this constant worry of going crazy or having a sudden psychotic break. I know people say if you think you're going crazy you probably aren't but I did read stories where some people were aware of what was happening to them but I'm also afraid of going crazy and not noticing. I don't have any psychotic symptoms but I have been feeling "off" ever since I started reading about all this.

The only reassurance I have is that I don't have a family history of mental illnesses and I figured that since this has been the most stressful time in my life and I've been managing it alright with no psychotic symptoms that I'll probably be fine but I just can't help but worry.

I know this probably all sounds stupid and I apologize for the long post but I was just wondering if anybody else has had similar worries and how they handled them.

[gypsylee]

Hi and welcome :)

Yeah this was one of my big fears earlier on and probably still is, but I've been dealing with this for 20+ years and I'm still pretty sane (I think).

I can't think of anything much to say because I haven't slept but I saw noone had responded to your post. In a way I'm dealing with this exact issue as we speak because I HATE insomnia and feel like I'll lose the plot (even after being awake for a week a few years ago coming off meds cold turkey and not even becoming irrational).

All the best,
Gypsy x

[MSNURSE]

I too am beginning to think I am nuts after all these crazy physical symptoms popped up after I had a baby meanwhile the MRI's and nerve tests were normal. My psychiatrist has pegged it to being hypochondriac-behavior as well as post partum depression. I was convinced I had permanent nerve damage after giving birth but since all the tests were normal minus a spinal tap that showed inflammation from the epidural, I am afraid it is all in my head because everyone thinks I was exaggerating due to the symptoms I was experiencing.

[aml0017]

I'm like Gypsy, at this point I'm still pretty sane too lol, I no longer really fear the anxiety itself or any of the physical symptoms. I've learned that the anxious mind coupled with the adrenaline and cortisol flooding the body during anxiety can really mimic a lot of symptoms especially when you become so hyper-aware of every feeling in your body. The anxiety still sucks of course...but it is nice not to have to think I'm going insane and/or dying any longer...one less thing to worry about. Anxiety is your illness, and as bad as it can get, the good news is it will NOT kill you. As for all the other things that can kill you...well, worrying about them won't prevent them anyway. Remind yourself that for all the worry of the last two months...you are still here and you are still sane. Tell yourself that when you find your anxiety increasing. Take some deep breaths and do something to distract yourself. Also stay of google lol

[Teafrenzy]

Well first of all BP, Psychosis and Schizo generally begin when someone is in their late teens to early twenties. Are you older than that Kerflower?

Second, those diseases actually come on gradually. My guess is that for most of the people here, anxiety came on fast and strong and hit like a lightning bolt. Developed over just a few weeks or months.

Third, let recovery be your guide. If you try recovery and feel better after 30 days..reassess after another 30. Then maybe another 30. Are you getting worse or better? I bet your anxiety is getting better and it is not a serious mental illness.