I want to see the world but I'm afraid of flying

[Kudzu]

I haven't been on a plane since 2007 which is embarrassing to admit but true. In the time since then I've suffered academic failures and other setbacks such as low paying jobs and layoffs but now I'm finally beginning to get to a place where I'm stable and have found my calling. But it's been so long since I've traveled that I've developed a terrible fear of it that I'm not sure I can overcome. I feel very alone. I see pictures of peoples vacations all the time and am very envious. I suppose maybe I just should accept I won't see the world the way I'd like to.

[gypsylee]

Hey there :)

A lot of doctors will prescribe benzos for people who are going on long plane trips (even if they don't have a fear of flying).

That's awesome you're getting to where you want to be and you shouldn't give up on the idea of going overseas!

Cheers,
Gypsy x

[BlessedBackyard]

That's great that you're stable and have found your calling! It's a good place to be, but I agree with gypsy -- I hope you don't give up on your dream of traveling. It may not happen next week or next month, but I believe you can do it.

Can you break flying down into smaller, more manageable pieces? For example --

Step 1: Start with visualization exercises, where you get fully relaxed and then picture yourself driving to the airport, waiting in line, boarding the plane, talking with the flight attendant when the plane is in the air, etc. Imagine little details, but keep your breathing slow and steady. Stop a moment to relax if you feel yourself tensing too much. You're training your brain to not view flying as a fearful thing, though this may not be nearly as helpful if you're not a "visual" person.

Step 2: Visit the airport. Sit in the waiting area or some other place where you can see planes take off. Practice your breathing exercises while observing and imagining what it's like to be on one of those planes.

Step 3: Is there a local place that offers flying lessons? Instead of a lesson, they may be willing to take you on a short flight.

And to second what gypsy wrote -- keep benzos in your pocket as a safety precaution. Good luck to you!

[Kudzu]

It's just so intimidating that I don't think much will change any time soon. For awhile I suppose I just accepted it was something that other people did. But at some point I got tired of that. No, I don't know of any place near me that offers short flights like that. I don't think this is something that can be overcome because it's not an irrational fear. Perhaps I can be content to travel within the country. But even that's hard because I don't get much time off and I don't have anyone I could go with. Why go somewhere if I have to go alone?

[fixmybrokenmind]

Not to rub dirt in the wound but if travel is something you want to do, you can't leave it be. Traveling is life changing! Like gypsy said maybe get a benzo or a fast acting anti anxiety just for the flight.

I have been on over 20 planes and never once have I had any issues. The odds of being killed in a plane crash are 1 in 29 000 000. If you believe in those odds play the lottery!

Maybe start with shorter flights and work your way up.. there are still tons of beautiful places in north america (California, new york, florida, Mexico, Canada etc etc.

[fixmybrokenmind]

Forgot to mention, if you are travelling alone try staying in hostels. I travelled alone for 3 months in South east asia, and 2 months in Mexico and stayed in hostels. I met so many people I can't count and now have friends all over the world. Your social skills will greatly improve as well.

Look up "travelling solo" in google!

[Anne1221]

There are group bus tours and things like that. That actually sounds like fun to me.

[Kudzu]

There are group bus tours and things like that. That actually sounds like fun to me.

I'd never considered it. It might be worth looking into.

[BlessedBackyard]

I was looking around on Simbi (a free barter site) and came across a pilot who offers help with flying anxiety. His knowledge could ease some fears: https://simbi.com/mike-kalinski/help-with-flying-anxiety

[Kudzu2]

Hi. I started this thread on my old account and wanted to look up that link BlessedBackyard posted. I mean, I haven't clicked on it yet but my guess is that costs more money than I currently have in my checking account but I will look at it sometime this week.

[Kudzu2]

Oh, I see. I have to offer something in return. Well I have no fucking skills so I guess that's out of the question for now. :(

[Kirk]

I don't like flying either, but I take a half or a whole Valium and I can usually do OK. The longest flight I have been on from Baltimore Maryland
has been direct to Madrid Spain, which was around 8-9 hours or so. I try to get direct non-stop flights as they are quicker and I like that. Just say
to yourself if that Kirk can do it, I can do it. I have been on around 80 plane rides, give or take.

[PanicCured]

I haven't been on a plane since 2007 which is embarrassing to admit but true. In the time since then I've suffered academic failures and other setbacks such as low paying jobs and layoffs but now I'm finally beginning to get to a place where I'm stable and have found my calling. But it's been so long since I've traveled that I've developed a terrible fear of it that I'm not sure I can overcome. I feel very alone. I see pictures of peoples vacations all the time and am very envious. I suppose maybe I just should accept I won't see the world the way I'd like to.

I also hate flying but I learned one thing about it, it gets worse if you avoid it and it gets better if you fly. Actually, one of the ways to get over fear of flying is to fly a lot. One pilot once recommended to actually taking a flying lesson. Learn to appreciate what an amazing mode of travel it is. You sit in a bullet in the sky and in a matter of hours you are in another world. I suggest finding a fear of flying online program and go through it and then get your butt on a plane!