Hello

[joehoax]

Hello. I decided to join after seeing such great support from everyone, and hoping that this will be a way to relieve some anxiety of mine.

I'm 31 year old male, been on anti depressants for about 8 years (currently celexa and effexor ) and just recently started taking busiprone. Most of my life depression has been the biggest issue, but the last 6 months or so my anxiety has gotten much worse. I have always been a worrier even as a young child, but most of the time as I got older it was a passing thought that I wouldn't think twice about. However now its all my mind goes to any time I have time to let my mind wander. I wouldn't say I have ever had panic attacks and it's not so much social anxiety (although there is a bit of that too) its more about how my mind reacts to my thoughts. I don't outwardly express too much emotion one way or another, but inside I am in torture. My mind will not stop worrying about everything that may or may not happen. I can distract myself most of the time by doing whatever it is I'm doing, but the minute I have time to think, I am being tortured with my thoughts. What is so hard for me as well, is even if I do distract myself from my mind, I will immediately go back to that same thought(s) the minute I am able to. Why can't my mind stop doing this! It is caused me to take time off work, I have my first psychiatrist appt in a few weeks, I really hope that will help somewhat.

Hopefully I explained myself well enough. The few people I have spoken to think I am "fine" because I don't display my emotion in a negative way, but it's hard to explain what a prison my mind has become.

Thanks for listening (or reading) :)

[gypsylee]

Hi Joe and welcome :)

Well this is exactly what I've been reading about in "The Happiness Trap" by Dr Russ Harris - the need to "defuse" from one's thoughts and the difference between the "thinking" mind and the "aware" mind. It's based on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy where the aim is not to get rid of negative thoughts but to stop struggling with them and getting caught up in them (and therefore making them worse). He says that negative thoughts are a natural result of evolution and impossible to get rid of but it is possible to not let them "torture" us (as you put it).

Anyway, I think you'll find this forum helpful.. It makes a big difference being able to talk about these things.

Cheers,
Gypsy x

[sarsaparilla]

Welcome! I hope you find some relief from how the thoughts make you feel. All the best

[joehoax]

Thank you both :)

[diaz2121]

Welcome Joe, I'm new too. Hope we can change our life together