talin
11-19-2016, 12:35 PM
Hi all,
New here....A little about myself. I am 46 and am a live-in nanny for my family. I have had severe anxiety, panic attacks SAD, and depression for over 10 years. I am introverted, but I can push myself to communicate efficiently with others. I love to read and paint and write. Through meditation, I can sometimes do deep breathing without a full blown panic attack. And then there's the family: I am happy to help them and they help me in turn. Well, my brother and SIL divorced about 2 years ago and I opted to stay with (ex) sil with the kids so they have a stable person in their life as well as routine (they are young, 4 and 8) and I DO get along with sil - share similar viewpoints about books, movies, politics, hobbies, etc. so at first we got along well. Recently (within the past 2 months) I've noticed she does not speak to me unless necessary. I ask "how are you" "How was your day" "hope you feel better" "what would you like for dinner" ... all I get is a blunt, to the point answer, nothing more nothing less. In the past it was a friendly discussion such as "Oh at work today, I....." or whatever.
I feel like I've done something wrong, and she's totally shunning me out of things. She HAS, however met a new friend at work and she is training her and she hangs out with this girl and goes places, etc. I totally get that , but I don't think that is a reason to treat me like something she stepped in.
Side note here: Her classroom (she's a teacher/counselor) is filled literally from top to bottom with positive sayings, posters, pictures, you name it. She touts LGBTQ and anti-bulling as well as being an upstander at her school and is in all sorts of conferences, etc., especially since she and my brother divorced. I personally think her class room is is over done in positive posters, but that's just me...lol
Now, don't get me wrong, she's a cool person, and does her job well, and I love the fact she is all into being a happy, joyful and positive person. That's especially great for the kids.
Here's the problem: She told me to not be negative around the kids, no negative sayings, no saying of the words stupid, ugly, silly, crazy, fat, gross, dumb, etc.
Now, I've NEVER said those words - I understand the consequences....I do say them (as she has said them around me before) around her when kids are not present, but she goes and tells her friend "oh the dog only obeys me (meaning her) and nobody listens to her (meaning me) and then continues to say how she's the Alpha and I am the Omega of the family. Even in front of the kids.
Again, I understand positivism and raising happy kids but it's become increasingly hard for me to communicate with her when I say Hi, how are you and she just grunts and keeps her head buried in the ipad. I then feel like I am being bullied. I don't know how to handle it. I've asked if something was wrong, either at work or personal life, which is none of my business but I'd rather her say," Yes, but I prefer not to discuss it right now" rather than ignoring me and making me feel like a 3rd rate citizen in the house. I've even asked my brother and he has no clue.
I get to Overthinking this situation, I am sure, but then one anxiety attack leads into a panic attack and then I feel crummy.
Thanks in advance,
talin
New here....A little about myself. I am 46 and am a live-in nanny for my family. I have had severe anxiety, panic attacks SAD, and depression for over 10 years. I am introverted, but I can push myself to communicate efficiently with others. I love to read and paint and write. Through meditation, I can sometimes do deep breathing without a full blown panic attack. And then there's the family: I am happy to help them and they help me in turn. Well, my brother and SIL divorced about 2 years ago and I opted to stay with (ex) sil with the kids so they have a stable person in their life as well as routine (they are young, 4 and 8) and I DO get along with sil - share similar viewpoints about books, movies, politics, hobbies, etc. so at first we got along well. Recently (within the past 2 months) I've noticed she does not speak to me unless necessary. I ask "how are you" "How was your day" "hope you feel better" "what would you like for dinner" ... all I get is a blunt, to the point answer, nothing more nothing less. In the past it was a friendly discussion such as "Oh at work today, I....." or whatever.
I feel like I've done something wrong, and she's totally shunning me out of things. She HAS, however met a new friend at work and she is training her and she hangs out with this girl and goes places, etc. I totally get that , but I don't think that is a reason to treat me like something she stepped in.
Side note here: Her classroom (she's a teacher/counselor) is filled literally from top to bottom with positive sayings, posters, pictures, you name it. She touts LGBTQ and anti-bulling as well as being an upstander at her school and is in all sorts of conferences, etc., especially since she and my brother divorced. I personally think her class room is is over done in positive posters, but that's just me...lol
Now, don't get me wrong, she's a cool person, and does her job well, and I love the fact she is all into being a happy, joyful and positive person. That's especially great for the kids.
Here's the problem: She told me to not be negative around the kids, no negative sayings, no saying of the words stupid, ugly, silly, crazy, fat, gross, dumb, etc.
Now, I've NEVER said those words - I understand the consequences....I do say them (as she has said them around me before) around her when kids are not present, but she goes and tells her friend "oh the dog only obeys me (meaning her) and nobody listens to her (meaning me) and then continues to say how she's the Alpha and I am the Omega of the family. Even in front of the kids.
Again, I understand positivism and raising happy kids but it's become increasingly hard for me to communicate with her when I say Hi, how are you and she just grunts and keeps her head buried in the ipad. I then feel like I am being bullied. I don't know how to handle it. I've asked if something was wrong, either at work or personal life, which is none of my business but I'd rather her say," Yes, but I prefer not to discuss it right now" rather than ignoring me and making me feel like a 3rd rate citizen in the house. I've even asked my brother and he has no clue.
I get to Overthinking this situation, I am sure, but then one anxiety attack leads into a panic attack and then I feel crummy.
Thanks in advance,
talin