Two months into a new job

[Gingerbread Bat]

Hello!

I started a new job two months ago, and I am struggling to keep my social anxiety in check. The people I work with are really nice, but I am beginning to struggle. I just feel that I am doing everything wrong all the time. Mostly I am unsure about how to take what people say.

Today I thought I had done really well, considering that I am quiting smoking as well. I went to collect my bag from the staff room, and I said " See you all tomorrow". One of the staff replied "Some of us arn't that lucky". As I am a relief member of staff I do not get regular hours. I didn't know what to say, and ended up just smiling and leaving the room. Now I am back home my mind is just running with negative thoughts. Mostly that they want to sack me, or they think that I got too many hours this week, or that I have offended them somehow.

I really love the job I have got, and I am keeping up with applying for full-time roles. The comment from the staff member really seemed to trigger something, a fear that just won't go away. I have resisted getting cigarettes, thankfully, but I don't know how to put it to the back of my mind. Other members of staff have been very complimentary about how hard I work and how much I have learnt. However, I just don't know how to take this comment.

What do you guys think? Is it just my mind working over-time? If so, how do I get over things like this?

[Ponder]

The comment "some of us aren't that lucky." Is generally more of an Atypical comment of being dissatisfied with their own state of affairs and not meant as a personal attack to Those whom they are speaking to. Those of us that suffer with heightened levels of anxiety are prone to make things more about ourselves more often than not. I understand where your coming from.

I'm not much into possy wossy attitudes, but I will say focus on the positive aspects that you have mentioned - BUT - do keep your receptors open to those with negative energy. More so for the purpose of either reflecting back a little compassion - however with those types, they tend to target sensitive people (so be prepared) - just don't be too quick to judge. Give it time and see where it goes. The way you handle yourself will also play into how things pan out.

Remind yourself ... what's more important to you - The comment OR The Job? The guy complaining does not sound too happy with the job - don't let their perception determine your own own.

[Gingerbread Bat]

Thank you Ponder for your advise. It is very helpful to get your perspective on the situation. It has really helped me feel better about going back in today.

You are right though, the job is more important. And it is a job I love. I think the best way forward is to put forward positive energies, and carry on progressing with gaining experience. Most importantly I will try not to let it get me down as I find that starts my cycle of destructive behavior.

What you said about people with negative energies makes a lot of sense. The culture of the people where I live tends to be quite negative, and I have seen them make targets of other people. Perhaps pushing myself to be a bit stronger as a person is the best way forward, and to continue to be sociable with everyone.

Thanks again, I shall post here again to let you know how things get on.

[Ponder]

Your very welcome Gingerbread. Your reply has cheered me up. :) (was feeling a bit down but then read this - you made me think and now you have helped me)

Culture or not - I try to be very understanding of negative people as I suffer with it a lot myself. Perception is not always as it seems - Negative or Positive.

Glad some of what I said was helpful.

You sound pretty switched on to me. I think your going to be alright. :)

[Kirk]

I agree with Dave's assessment.