Depression + Anxiety

[Marrin]

I don't know if people can actually relate to this, but I often go through life with a lot of anxiety. For example talking to other people which I don't know very well or missing deadlines in my job. Which puts so much pressure on me that in the end I decide it's not worth trying anymore, because I will probably fail anyway. I then feel very bad, because I didn't do anything. I try to supress this feeling by convincing myself that this is not a big deal or in general try to distract myself. But in the evening when going to sleep I feel so bad about myself, because I worry so much and don't care at the same time. I don't know if this makes sense to you.

[Remdio]

I can actually relate this to myself. I used to get bullied a lot in school which is probably why I have so much anxiety talking to other people. On the other hand I try to cope with it by distracting myself and just be alone in my room all the time. This makes perfectly sense to me. Thanks for the share

[superchick22684]

This post makes a lot of sense to me. I find talking to other people that I don't know very anxiety triggering. I don't decide to stop trying but I do have the tendency to feel like I've failed. What I've learned is that the voice that's telling you that you're a failure is a big liar. That's the depression talking.

How do you cope with your anxiety/depression? Are you on meds, in therapy, use relaxation exercises/meditation?

[Marrin]

I started meditating a few weeks ago. It really helps me to calm down and see things differently, but sometimes I feel just too bad. Maybe I should consider meds. I don't know.

[columbia123]

I understand this, I am actually very glad that I came across your post. My bad-this is a wordy post, but I hope if anything you can find it relatable and that you are not alone! I'm a 4th year college student and have been struggling with this for the past few years. I've always dreaded interacting with people. It's gotten a lot better now, I can handle one on one conversations. However in group discussions, especially for work or class- I freeze. I would initially panic and then I just disconnect. I would feel so insecure and unintelligent because I have nothing to add, and this constant worrying feeds itself. My closer friends think I'm aloof and lack common sense. I feel useless when there is a problem, even a small one. And so people around have noticed, ignoring me and thinking of me as incompetent. I feel so bad and I don't know if there is something wrong with me. I am not doing that good in my classes due to constant procrastinating: cramming, not turning in assignments, skipping class-just downright no effort. I am scared that I will not be able to succeed, I kinda know it now. And so I just give up. I tell myself that I care and I think I really do but I just end up not doing things either because the possibility of rejection and failure terrifies me or I just shut down. I don’t understand why I lack motivation. And it’s a cycle that keeps feeding itself, I don’t do well on something leads to me feeling ashamed which leads me to not even try, and this culminates in a persistent sense of worthlessness.

I also have horrible issues with thinking clearly and brain fog.It’s become difficult for me to link concepts together in my head. I’ve become generally slow in thinking, which is frustrating because I didn’t have this problem growing up. At this point I doubt there is anything wrong with me, I just don’t know and it’s so frustrating and tiring. I'm so tired of waking up everyday feeling like this. I don't remember the last time I was ok. During my better periods I kinda of just block everything out and it helps a lot, but then eventually everything hits me and I break down. Even when I'm doing ok I get so scared that I'll get pulled down again or something bad will happen. I feel like I can't breathe and I'm constantly running away from something. Whenever I do try to talk to someone I feel like I'm being so petty, every time I feel worse afterwards- I feel naked and vulnerable and guilty for complaining. They are dealing with actual issues so I don't want to burden them or come across as attention seeking and selfish. I tried going to therapy two years ago, it was after a really bad period, but it didn't amount to anything and I just ended up telling them what I thought they wanted to hear to make myself seem stable. I try to tell myself it will get better, and if anything that gives me a sense of hope to keep me going, but it’s running thin, and I’m terrified of accepting and knowing that this is who I am.

[Marrin]

Columbia I can relate to this so much. Thanks for sharing the story. Really helps me to feel not alone in these things.

[solin9]

I know how you feel.I have had bouts of depression + anxiety attacks.I would not recommend taking meds because that would not help you in the long run.What we want is a cure that will help us be more stronger,happier and independent.Meds would give you relief but only temporarily.Consider taking long walks to calm your mind.What is it that you like doing?Find a favorite hobby so that you can keep yourself distracted when all the negative thoughts come pouring in.I meditate everyday in the morning and it helps.It may be hard at first to calm your mind and sit still for a long time.But if you do it everyday on a daily basis then you will get the hang of it.I still get these dep + anx attacks but I have learned to calm myself though I still need help at times.

[Procrastinator]

Fortunately I have a partner I can reach out to. If you have someone to talk to I find that can help. Assuming they are a good listener and not there to minimize or judge. Hopefully that is an option for you.

[Basketball]

Worry about everything and don't care about anything.
I think thats a perfect description for depression/anxiety.

I also saw another quote about social anxiety that I thought described it pretty well.
-Anxiety is wanting to be alone but never wanting to be lonely

[Ponder]

I'm going to go out on a limb here and offer up another perspective to this whole ordeal of Depression & Anxiety. I've been quite active in this forum for some years now and can't help but see a pattern of addiction. For now I will just add one of the results from a quick search string ... "The Addiction of Anxiety" ... Yes ... that's right ... all to often we become addcited to the only emotions we have ever known that when the opportunity for healing comes along, we fall further into denial and cling to our pain like a child sucks his bot bot.

Here is one link that I am yet to fully check out ... I know the Book - that much of this article is based on "EMOTIONAL FREEDOM Liberate yourself from negative emotions and transform your life." (http://www.drjudithorloff.com/emotional-freedom-paperback/) By Dr Judith Orloff.

The blog: Are You Addicted to Anxiety? Learn How Not to Be (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-freedom/201104/are-you-addicted-anxiety-learn-how-not-be)



Cool ... it's actually written by the doctor herself. I'll be! I really don't do doctors ... not ones in white coats. BUT I got to say this doc is not like others. She is an energy psychiatrist that teaches people how to tune in and deal with problems so there is no need to keep coming back. Once you discover the power of emotions and how jacked up on anxiety and depression we get, a sense of liberation does take place as the title suggests! I remember this book as if yesterday coming to just that realization after having listened to this book - over and over again.

Most of us are simply hooked on the drama, symptoms and labels. It's easy to stay hooked rather than do what it takes to give up the addiction. Being addicted to addiction itself.

[mindful]

You need meds

[goingtoofast]

Thank you Columbia. Your description is vivid and rich for me. And I identify with a number of your observations and experiences. I am beyond sixty now, and am finding interpersonal communication becoming more and more difficult, not that it's been at all easy up 'til now. Conversation is generally painful and confusing, as if other people who understand conversation have read the manual and know how to proceed. I do not. So it's usually Q and A until they get fed up. And then there's little, if anything, to talk about. Just a couple of weeks ago I had a psychiatrist tell me that, in her opinion, I communicate very well. I have learned to pass, over the years. Making desperate small talk when trapped, until the inevitable inappropriate utterance plops out and I get the look. As in, suddenly, are we involved in the same conversation at all? And the answer is no, of course. I mistrust language, or perhaps I distrust language. I can't decide. In any event, I certainly appreciated your account of therapy. "Just telling them what I thought they wanted to hear to make myself seem stable." I find that in therapeutic contexts, I am unable to express my misery articulately because language constrains and I can't cry.


What I am rather precipitously discovering at this relatively late state in life is that I am excited at the prospect of coming face-to-face with my comprehensive anxiety and its roots. I know I'm a whole person, even if I'm not a round peg, if you know what I mean. Thank you for your words. They have created activity for me!

[silver lining]

I just lost my mom the other day. She died after being sick for about 10 years. Anxiety and now depression? This hurts bad. I guess time will have to run its course.

[Ponder]

You need meds

Atypical response. I found it useful to be very careful when taking advice from others who would tell me what it is that I need.

_______________

Silver Lining - Srry for your Loss. ... My Dad died recently and lost my brother a few years before that. Just let time do as it does as the more we turn to it the slower it ticks. Do your best to ride with what you must.

I am glad you found this forum and appreciate the way you have been helping others. You've been a big help.

[rebeccamcclellan]

:)This is nice.

[rebeccamcclellan]

I just lost my mom the other day. She died after being sick for about 10 years. Anxiety and now depression? This hurts bad. I guess time will have to run its course.

Sorry to hear about your mom. Don't worry it is natural, don't take it on mind. It will going to happen with all one.

[vaguekage]

Me too! It's to the point that I don't want to do anything related to other people. Since I always worry that I may do something wrong, or the events will turn bad and when I decided to let it be, I start feeling guilty. The thoughts and feelings keep going on and on, especially at sleep time. My head always hurts and feel very heavy! I used to take Xanax as my doctor prescribed for me, it calmed my mind almost instantly but I stopped a long time ago, for fear of after-effects. I've been reading self-help books to change my thoughts. It worked until a lot of unlucky things happened recently and all the anxiety and depression symptoms hit me again.

[MEmily1105]

Im the same way I rather be alone Im more comfortable that way. People can be really mean and judgemental now a days I rather not put myself through more anxiety. People just dont understand why you rather be alone though

[MEmily1105]

Im sorry to hear about your mom. I will pray for you. Hope things get better for you

[MrsMargo]

I don't know if people can actually relate to this, but I often go through life with a lot of anxiety. For example talking to other people which I don't know very well or missing deadlines in my job. Which puts so much pressure on me that in the end I decide it's not worth trying anymore, because I will probably fail anyway. I then feel very bad, because I didn't do anything. I try to supress this feeling by convincing myself that this is not a big deal or in general try to distract myself. But in the evening when going to sleep I feel so bad about myself, because I worry so much and don't care at the same time. I don't know if this makes sense to you.

Hi, I often feel the same

[nathalia1011]

always keep in my mind that everything is gonna be fine that everything happens for a reason try to motivate you own self.

[timothynperry]

The individual became adept at going against happiness and encountering depression - Saddepressionquotes.com

[Notluckyperson00]

Hey I'm newbie here, well actually i want to read all of your comments and give some advices but well I'm in a negative state now, i use this username because today and the past events make me feel like I'm an unlucky person, you must know that i really have bad luck when I'm using a car, i crashed it 8 times! Per year! It's been 4 years since i started to drive. If it calculated every year i had 2 accidents, i really want to stay away from the car, but you should know that my family duties i must buy them meal buying medicine every day! The source of those bad luck must be anxiety

[Notluckyperson00]

What kind of medication do you take? I really want to be healed! It's really killing me

[MrsMargo]

I would encourage you to go to your GP or psychiatrist for the right diagnosis and treatment. Self-treatment isn't worth doing.

[TiffanyyO]

always keep in my mind that everything is gonna be fine that everything happens for a reason try to motivate you own self.

agreed 100% with this

[delaneysc]

I can totally relate. I suffer more from anxiety than depression. Depression tends to come about when I go off the pill so I avoid doing that at all anymore. Hopefully you find your balance! I still haven't quite yet, but getting there. Started blogging and I find that writing really helps me, and just generally having a project to work on really does too. I love building it and doing things to grow it. Nice to be excited about something.

[AngelaEvers]

Very true. It is a relatable situation.

[JamesTherapist]

I think you can Talk To The best Therapist, He will suggest you best treatment.