Southside
10-26-2008, 07:27 AM
Sorry for the length.
I am not sure where to start. I think I've always been a worrier, but it seemed normal. Every time I would get any health symptom, I thought the worst, but I didn't really obsess over it. 2 months ago, I had a small red spot on the roof of my mouth and that set everything off. I couldn't get the thought of AIDS out of my mind. The spot went away. I had a cold, but convinced myself that, that could not be the reason. For the next week or so, I had diarrhea and nausea and every second of the day that's all I thought about. I started having weird dreams and was unable to sleep past 4:00am. I went to my doctor and told him about my problems. I did have unprotected sex 15 years ago, and I've been with my beautiful wife for 10 years 100% faithfully. He told me that I was nervous over nothing and that it would be "pretty far fetched" to have AIDS from a one time experience 15 years ago and have no health issues since except for a few colds and a bad back. He told me not even to bother getting tested for AIDS, but did recommend routine blood work for cholesterol, glucose etc. Right around this time, my wife and I started talking about having kids and I started a new job. By the way, the girl from 15 years ago is married with 2 kids, one is 5 and one is 10 months.
For a while, I felt better. Recently I can't stop thinking about my health. I have nausea every day, especially when I wake up. I have this buzzing, twithching feeling randomly over my body, especially feet and fingers. The other day at work I started getting heart palpitations (missing a beat). I have gotten them before like every one else, but these were every few seconds/minutes all day. They went away for a few days but came back not as bad. At times I feel dizzy. The other day I had to sit down for a few minutes it got so bad. I feel like I'm on the computer all the time looking up symptoms for everything. I thought I was having vision problems (flashes of light). I went to the eye doctor she said my eye sight was very good.
I feel like I'm losing my mind! Most days I just sit and obsess over all of this. If I do do something that gets my mind off of it, my problems go away. I was carving pumpkins with my wife last night and had no twitches. I then sat down to watch tv and actually said to myself, "I feel good, no twitches" About 30 seconds later they were back. I am 99% sure it's anxiety, and I get mad at myself for doing this to myself. But then I also worry about diseases I might have. I am definitely not an emotional person or crier, but in the last few months at times when I am alone I just start crying. My wife who has been very supportive tells me its anxiety, every symptom I look up on the internet, the first cause is stress and anxiety.
I'm not even sure why I wrote this, reassurance, just to get it off my chest or for help. For the 1st time in my life I don't feel normal. Thanks for listening, the other posts I have read have been helpful.
I am not sure where to start. I think I've always been a worrier, but it seemed normal. Every time I would get any health symptom, I thought the worst, but I didn't really obsess over it. 2 months ago, I had a small red spot on the roof of my mouth and that set everything off. I couldn't get the thought of AIDS out of my mind. The spot went away. I had a cold, but convinced myself that, that could not be the reason. For the next week or so, I had diarrhea and nausea and every second of the day that's all I thought about. I started having weird dreams and was unable to sleep past 4:00am. I went to my doctor and told him about my problems. I did have unprotected sex 15 years ago, and I've been with my beautiful wife for 10 years 100% faithfully. He told me that I was nervous over nothing and that it would be "pretty far fetched" to have AIDS from a one time experience 15 years ago and have no health issues since except for a few colds and a bad back. He told me not even to bother getting tested for AIDS, but did recommend routine blood work for cholesterol, glucose etc. Right around this time, my wife and I started talking about having kids and I started a new job. By the way, the girl from 15 years ago is married with 2 kids, one is 5 and one is 10 months.
For a while, I felt better. Recently I can't stop thinking about my health. I have nausea every day, especially when I wake up. I have this buzzing, twithching feeling randomly over my body, especially feet and fingers. The other day at work I started getting heart palpitations (missing a beat). I have gotten them before like every one else, but these were every few seconds/minutes all day. They went away for a few days but came back not as bad. At times I feel dizzy. The other day I had to sit down for a few minutes it got so bad. I feel like I'm on the computer all the time looking up symptoms for everything. I thought I was having vision problems (flashes of light). I went to the eye doctor she said my eye sight was very good.
I feel like I'm losing my mind! Most days I just sit and obsess over all of this. If I do do something that gets my mind off of it, my problems go away. I was carving pumpkins with my wife last night and had no twitches. I then sat down to watch tv and actually said to myself, "I feel good, no twitches" About 30 seconds later they were back. I am 99% sure it's anxiety, and I get mad at myself for doing this to myself. But then I also worry about diseases I might have. I am definitely not an emotional person or crier, but in the last few months at times when I am alone I just start crying. My wife who has been very supportive tells me its anxiety, every symptom I look up on the internet, the first cause is stress and anxiety.
I'm not even sure why I wrote this, reassurance, just to get it off my chest or for help. For the 1st time in my life I don't feel normal. Thanks for listening, the other posts I have read have been helpful.