How to get past this weird paranoia Im feeling

[Willie Hafta]

Ok so this is new for me so I apologize if this comes out strange. First off Im 23 and Im definitely a person with some anxiety. Everybody who gets close to me knows it. I have panic attacks alot and I think I could have ocd but I haven't actually seen anybody about it so who knows.

Anyway lets get to it. I have a gf who I've been with for the past 7 years and I love more than anything. Well my problem is, and sorry I know this is weird, but I was watching porn earlier today and saw a girl that bore a striking resemblance to my gf. I mean there are differences but idk. The thing thats getting me is I know its not her but in the back of my head I keep thinking "what if its her?" and I just cant get past it. It's making me sick. I tried talking to her about it kind of nonchalantly and at first she was kind of like "I dont have the body for porn" but I kept saying stuff about it and she was starting to get mad so I stopped. I mean I'll probably get over it by the end of the day but idk this is strangely hard. I'm having trouble keeping up with normal conversation and I just feel sick to my stomach. I mean she doesn't even watch porn and is a really good person. I know it wasn't her but for some reason it's hard to get past. I know I should probably see some professional help but right now that's just not an option. I just need some advice to get past this.

[gypsylee]

Hi and welcome :)

Here's a thought - if it makes you sick thinking it could be your girlfriend in the porn, maybe stop watching porn? I'm sure she'd like that idea.

There have been threads on here before about porn with the usual comments that "all guys watch porn" but that's along the same lines as "boys will be boys". The fact that it makes you sick thinking it could be your girlfriend suggests you don't think it's a very nice thing to do, so stop participating in it.

Cheers,
Gypsy x

[Teafrenzy]

This is going to sound strange but I am reading a book on Anxiety and "disturbing thoughts".

You are obsessing because you are fighting against these thoughts. Like all kinds of anxiety, the harder you fight, the harder anxiety fights back.

You need to embrace the idea. Ask your gf if it is ok to joke around about it and laugh it off. watch 10 different Pornos and fantasize your gf is in all 10 of them.

That's all you can do.

[Aka_Hobbes]

Maybe it is ocd? Just a thought since ocd kindve controls your mind.

[jones27]

Ok so this is new for me so I apologize if this comes out strange. First off Im 23 and Im definitely a person with some anxiety. Everybody who gets close to me knows it. I have panic attacks alot and I think I could have ocd but I haven't actually seen anybody about it so who knows.

Anyway lets get to it. I have a gf who I've been with for the past 7 years and I love more than anything. Well my problem is, and sorry I know this is weird, but I was watching porn earlier today and saw a girl that bore a striking resemblance to my gf. I mean there are differences but idk. The thing thats getting me is I know its not her but in the back of my head I keep thinking "what if its her?" and I just cant get past it. It's making me sick. I tried talking to her about it kind of nonchalantly and at first she was kind of like "I dont have the body for porn" but I kept saying stuff about it and she was starting to get mad so I stopped. I mean I'll probably get over it by the end of the day but idk this is strangely hard. I'm having trouble keeping up with normal conversation and I just feel sick to my stomach. I mean she doesn't even watch porn and is a really good person. I know it wasn't her but for some reason it's hard to get past. I know I should probably see some professional help but right now that's just not an option. I just need some advice to get past this.

What you are describing doesn't sound like paranoia it sound more like emotional reasoning which is a cognitive error in the way you think.


You are able to rationalize the thought but your emotions are reacting as if what you fear is real. I struggle with emotional reasoning as well. People with paranoia can't rationalize it they believe it to be true even when evidence shows them its not.

Could be anxiety, you should probably get into CBT to learn how to adjust this type of thinking before it starts causing you more distress later on.

I used to do the same thing so don't feel bad its literally just an error in the way your brain thinks. I actually have stopped watching porn now for a variety of reasons, one of them being that it can trigger my anxiety and make me feel depressed and guilty afterwards. Which makes it not worth it.

[aj2124]

Can you elaborate on the why you feel anxiety over this thought? It seems contradictory for you to watch porn but feel anxiety over the thought of your girlfriend participating in it. Perhaps you could explain more about why that is upsetting to you. What is your girlfriend's opinion of your use of porn?