MoonLight7
10-22-2008, 09:20 PM
Hi, I just joined this forum today and I am hoping that in sharing my experiences and having people with similar experiences respond I may not feel so alone in my struggles. I have obsessive thoughts. I evaluate what I said or did in the past and replay it in my mind over and over and over again. I am always afraid to talk to people who are older than me who I respect because I am afraid that I will do something wrong. I still talk to them, but I put myself through a lot to do it. My heart feels like it's going to beat out of my chest, I become lightheaded, my palms become sweaty, and I get very shaky. It does not matter if I have talked to the person ten times before, I still get nervous/anxious. I worry about my interactions with people for months after they occur. I have a hard time letting things go. I put so much stress on my mind that I become tired and I can sleep for 14 hours and still feel completely tired. When I wake up in the morning, I never feel refreshed. I get anxious over things and obsess over things that most people don't think twice about. I also worry that I leave things plugged in or that my room isnt straightened up perfectly. If something is moved, I become very frustrated. I check to make sure my hair straightener is unplugged over five times after every time I use it. I feel like this extreme anxiety and obsessing is taking over my life and I dont know what to do. I am not able to see a therapist due to the fact that I am a recent graduate without health insurance. I look forward to your feedback and hearing about your experiences.