quietkid
10-04-2016, 05:16 PM
Hi Everyone,
I don't really know where to start.
Im 24 and from Chicago. Im looking for help and advice, just people who understand that I can reach out to.
I haven't been able to hold a job that requires interacting with others ever in my life. For 3 years I worked in an office environment that hid me in the corner, they understood me and did what they could to make me comfortable.
Sadly I left that job because of an extreme meltdown, I used to struggle with depression and thoughts of suicide and one of my coworkers wanted me to "go down with her". I worked very hard to overcome that so the sudden rush of another person suggesting that to me, I couldn't function.
That was 1.5 years ago and since then I have had 8 jobs. I cant control myself when I begin to panic, its scary and not long after the first episode at work I withdraw, spend alot of days crying, and then quit or well my managers usually suggest I quit.
My doctor says I have anxiety along with depression. She offered me medication but due to my family's history of suicide attempts while on medication I am scared to accept.
My Therapists say there's nothing wrong with me. They just tell me to quit my jobs and run away.
It makes me feel like there's nothing I can do. Like I am a lost cause.
It is not only with work where I have these issues, talking to people in general is very difficult. In social situations I stay as silent as possible to avoid panicking or saying something wrong.
Dating was difficult for a very long time. Guys didn't understand or they took advantage of my fears. I was lucky enough to find someone eventually, but im scared my job hopping may lead to our demise.
I do not have any other friends. Only my family and boyfriend.
No one usually believes me but its really zero, and that worries me too.
Recently all of this has reached its extreme. I dont go out in public much anymore, and never if I am alone. I used to work out but I panic about being around people in the gym.
I have dreams of opening a business one day. But right now I just want to be able to work. To have friends. To enjoy life.
I don't really know where to start.
Im 24 and from Chicago. Im looking for help and advice, just people who understand that I can reach out to.
I haven't been able to hold a job that requires interacting with others ever in my life. For 3 years I worked in an office environment that hid me in the corner, they understood me and did what they could to make me comfortable.
Sadly I left that job because of an extreme meltdown, I used to struggle with depression and thoughts of suicide and one of my coworkers wanted me to "go down with her". I worked very hard to overcome that so the sudden rush of another person suggesting that to me, I couldn't function.
That was 1.5 years ago and since then I have had 8 jobs. I cant control myself when I begin to panic, its scary and not long after the first episode at work I withdraw, spend alot of days crying, and then quit or well my managers usually suggest I quit.
My doctor says I have anxiety along with depression. She offered me medication but due to my family's history of suicide attempts while on medication I am scared to accept.
My Therapists say there's nothing wrong with me. They just tell me to quit my jobs and run away.
It makes me feel like there's nothing I can do. Like I am a lost cause.
It is not only with work where I have these issues, talking to people in general is very difficult. In social situations I stay as silent as possible to avoid panicking or saying something wrong.
Dating was difficult for a very long time. Guys didn't understand or they took advantage of my fears. I was lucky enough to find someone eventually, but im scared my job hopping may lead to our demise.
I do not have any other friends. Only my family and boyfriend.
No one usually believes me but its really zero, and that worries me too.
Recently all of this has reached its extreme. I dont go out in public much anymore, and never if I am alone. I used to work out but I panic about being around people in the gym.
I have dreams of opening a business one day. But right now I just want to be able to work. To have friends. To enjoy life.