Water Fasting to Alleviate my Social Phobia [Archive] - Anxiety Forum - A Home for Those with Anxiety, Fear, or Panic Attacks

Ponder

09-17-2016, 08:50 PM

I don't mind at all salvator & TY for the welcome. It's healthy to be honest with ourselves. In fact - TY for sharing like so. Everything you said resonates with me and I'm probably sure it is similar with many others that struggle socializing. What you said at the end re being a push over and allowing others to walk all over you when fragile; I know that well. It sure can be frustrating after the fact.

For ... the offense at which it seems to be can be rather consuming. Nothing wrong with seeking to be by ourselves during such times. I struggle with people who are quick to tell others whom likewise are sitting in peace, that they should be up and about, mingling with others in order to be classified as acceptable and social beings. Thankfully not all professional recovery based programs endorse socialization as a gauge to someones state of well being. I now consider it a grey area as some social interaction to some degree is very much a beneficial thing. Like right now ... here with yourself, MiST, Dahila & myself. That's real enough for me.

Not all of us can fit on the same level of others, and that's OK - or at least for many of us in here ... we understand that well enough. Even those of us that have stepped on each others toes, yet have remorse enough to stick it out ... because whilst many of us can find peace on our own, I don't think any of us wants to be lonely. Hence the difference between being alone, to that of feeling lonely.

So thanks for your insight & reply - it's gone a long way to keeping the lonely scale at bay for me. I feel no need to go clubbing ... not just yet. :)

JohnC

09-18-2016, 07:21 AM

Howdy P. Just wanted to let you know that i am still about but i just do not post much. You seem to be doing great and i am happy for you. I sure wish i had the motivation to loose some weight that i have put on since quitting the cigs. but i just feel mentally fatigued i guess at the end of the day. Any way keep it up P and i'll be around. Hi Dahlia always good to see you to :) Peace all

Ponder

09-18-2016, 01:40 PM

John It's really great to see again! That's awesome about the smokes!!! It took me a few years when giving up the Cigs, before I attempted to do anything about my weight.

TY for singing out and letting me know your watching. You really ... and I mean REALLY gave me hope with your reply. I like how we sync with nature and all those things.

Whilst I appear to be on track ... today I am feeling very down. I just typed it all out ... BUT - you know how it goes ... I just lost the post with due to some keyboard setting re my browser.

I go for a walk and see if I can iron out my next move.

I have surgery tomorrow and detest being in hospitals. I really need to get well. I don't think I can stand any more operations.

I try and cheer up soon enough ... fact is, I have more purging to do. Hopefully this will be one of my last cycles ... or more so one of the intense ones.

Dahila

09-18-2016, 03:20 PM

John my dear, keep fighting with it, it is so worth it. Weight; as soon as I had seen my results of fasting about 6.5 glucose; which is diabetes Mellitus, I quit on bread, and pasta, I had never eat junk food or drink soda so it is not difficult. I eat a lot of veggies like always but now twice more ;)) Of course my results after two months of it, are eye opening. I took Ponder advice at getting up from the table when 80% full. I also (I go to sleep around midnight) try not to eat after 7, or 8. I had lost glorious 25 pounds so I am feeling like new me. I quit the meds too, I take only 0.5 mg of Klonopin a day, I am planning on getting off it , too. I will keep you D. In my thoughts and focus on your health. I do not know if universe will cooperate.........I wish you luck :)
Let us know how it went please.

Ponder

09-18-2016, 06:51 PM

"I quit the meds too" AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'd say focus on sleep as it's often overlooked and plays big time into our bio chemistry ... BUT - You sound like your doing more than just fine Dahila! :)

Dahila

09-18-2016, 08:33 PM

Actually the f****ng goverment cut me off with money today. Working like crazy for 25 years her paying so much for EI and the cut me off after 4 months , I want to swear but it will not change anything. I will try to call tomorrow to get some explanation but I bet I will not solve it. Well my man is rich so I am ok, however I do not like it. Hey I took my own booth on Market in an excellent place and I am doing good so far the best three weeks in 9 months. I pay more for the place but no one tells me what to do:)) I love that
I keep my fingers crossed that procedure goes smoothly. BTW I am going to give the first ignore on forum, to the one you have on ignore :)))

Ponder

09-18-2016, 09:15 PM

I am more than happy to take on a barrage of swearing Dahila. It's the least I can do. Call when your able and good luck with getting an explanation. At least that would be something.

Sounds like a good spot in the Market and well worth the trade off.

I think I will be OK for my opp tomorrow. Thx for hearing me out on that. :)

I have quite a few on Ignore - But more so because of my tolerance level. I mean not to offend others, but sometimes can't help it. The ignore option is a great feature. :) - I'm guessing who? Not the captain is it. I thought you guys were getting along famously?

Dahila

09-18-2016, 09:18 PM

It is Kirk he is pissing me so much , I was trying to be nice , but right now I ma just bitchy to this poor soul

Ponder

09-18-2016, 09:18 PM

FB? I go make cuppa :)

Dahila

09-18-2016, 09:20 PM

ok................

Ponder

09-18-2016, 11:44 PM

Garden Needs Works - will let it grow for a few more days yet:

https://c8.staticflickr.com/9/8549/29699903391_46258bb199_b.jpg (https://c1.staticflickr.com/9/8549/29699903391_ff7897d812_o.jpg)

Dahila

09-19-2016, 09:14 AM

I really like the palms, I can not even keep one in house, all die and you even have agava there

Ponder

09-20-2016, 02:37 AM

Anxiety attack in the hospital:
https://c5.staticflickr.com/9/8327/29180449804_b0290154c2_o.jpg

As a result, I was first in. My trigger is on mounted on the wall. I put up with that shit for long enough, but when they turned it on in the next room ... I started pacing to the beat of the "news" reports that they did not end up turning on. You know how anxious those reporters always speak. It should be illegal to impose that crap in public places. (Especially among the sick - Dah) So much for choices and free will. BS! My heart started racing which was the last thing the doctors are suppose to want before a procedure. Pfft ... Fancy having something as G'd up like a fucking TV and some drama being projected whether you want or not into your brain. People are like fucking sheep to put up with that crap.

I laughed out loud in the other waiting room as there was a news story on kids spending too much time in front of the TV ... The irony ... what a load of shit to have no choice sitting there having to put up with that fucking screen.

Anyways ... still under the effect of the anesthetic.

Now that I actually have a choice ... I think I will go watch Net - Flix. Big difference when we actually have a choice and I can choose what it is that I want to watch. Fuck the usual Media they use to imprint with public screens. FOOLS - http://www.sherv.net/cm/emoticons/christian/jesus-leading-flock-of-sheep-smiley-emoticon.gif They all watch it like that at the gym I go to as well. No wonder I don't want to mix the sheep that are so easily led.

At least they chose not to turn it on once they saw how it was affecting me. That was a good move.

Ponder

09-20-2016, 04:54 AM

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZz Feeling better now. Environment is everything. Night night. ;)

Ponder

09-20-2016, 02:23 PM

I will attempt to sift through my anxiety attack in a less disturbing manner.

Other than the fact that the colon cleanse aggravated my annual fissure like there was tomorrow, the frustration of being misunderstood within the confines of yet another institutional building had lowered my tolerance to that of the all invasive brainwashing trigger so typically hung from the wall.

I realize those that mattered (regarding my situation/space) where just doing their jobs and trying to help. This is why I was not aggressively acting out but more so pacing the floor and subconsciously climbing the walls. In all the years of my recovery I knew I had come too far to give reason for security to be called. Thankfully the nurse picked up on my extreme discomfort and chose not to turn on the brainwashing machine.

From this point it was really hard to calm myself down. Eye contact was extremely hard and my heart was still pounding when having to go over the induction. I made my mark with a lightening X scribble to which then comes the usual “surprised looked” For whatever reason, I have built up some kind of cognitive issue with my signature. It’s like both a protest of disgust to a system that I no longer trust that’s become a serious mind fuck that I have to fight real hard to move my hand at all; let alone move it in some kind of recognized way that reflects whoever it is I am suppose to be. I always end up with something that looks like an X.

It’s hard when people say things like “don’t you even know that dates of birth of your children or your wife” or “no matter, I’m sure you make do in life” SIGH … I try to explain that it’s more an issue for others than it is for me. I am happy to take my time and look up the details from my phone and then proceed to give the information. This is when people tend to loose patience and make some kind of undermining comment. I smile now to think – How I tell them that I also left my hearing aids at home.

Man … what a trip that hospital was. You know something … they even took my weight loss as some kind of sign that I was sick. (shakes head) … They fail to understand that I chose to lose that weight, and did so over a long period of time - adding to that - I also did it in a healthy way. I gave their medications the flick and stopped eating the junk and processed foods. As a result I found myself moving and the weight naturally coming off. The fact that I have since found a desire to no longer be addicted to the drugs and food, is as challenging for them as my struggles to communicate that bests suits them. Again ... more an issue for them than I care it to be for me. However the indignation that comes from such assumptions and the complacent way in which they speak only adds to ones sickness. "Oh don't be so paranoid David." smiles.

I smile again to think that after being questioned re my weight loss (my health reclamation) that when they asked me if I suffered with high blood pressure, sleep apnea, esophagitis, diabetes and so on; I replied - “Not since arresting my obesity and losing all that weight.” Sigh ...

Anywayyyyys … Yes … I still struggle cognitive wise. I do so very much when in certain environments that question and imprint the way they do. My physiology is broken despite best efforts to recondition as I have done well to do. I really abused myself in my younger days but that’s another story in itself – having body parts removed such as my gall bladder has pretty much wreaked havoc on my digestive system. I am beyond attempting to make sense and or add blame to either party with regard to that. What is done is done. I have however researched the hell out of it once more in terms of finding a solution. All I can say is that this is the last time I am having a procedure if I have any say to it. I just got to keep making the best choices available within my means.

Trying to discuss the benefits of a whole foods plant based diet with the intent to make it lifestyle was met with great resistance with both the hospital and my doctor. You should have seen the look on their faces when I explained the process of cleansing and water fasting. It’s completely alien to them … in fact, if you talk too long about it, they will attempt to set you up with a dietitian. Chuckles at that very thought.

OK … wraps this post up now. I think I did well to unload the rest of that. Time to go for my walk and think a little about the prepping stage for the title of this thread:

Water Fasting to Alleviate my Social Phobia

Dahila

09-20-2016, 03:45 PM

I lost it at my doc last time too, they idiots, why she does not understand that I can control my eating? I am sorry you had such hard time, I lost my voice staying on phone for 3 hours with different goverment agencies. I am ready to shoot myself. I got I think; infection of the vocal cords. I have to recover till saturday.............

Ponder

09-21-2016, 02:05 AM

Vlog Update: In this update I consolidate my intention to water fast for however long I feel is safe enough. I don’t recommend doing this to lose weight. I also suggest that you research and practice a few times before embarking on water fasting. I’ve had a few goes and doing this to help heal my busted digestive system. There is plenty of information regarding the benefits as well as the do’s & don’ts.

First I show a pic of where I have come from. This is me about 2 years ago with my little grandson who’s grown somewhat since. My weight loss efforts have taken me time with no quick fixes. In fact, it was the quick fixes that I first gave up in order to reclaim my health. Below I had been on antidepressants for a few years and antipsychotics for about 18 months. In the beginning there was a honey moon period, however I did a full circle and ended up much worse in the end. My memory has worsened and I was on track for a heart tack any time soon. I don’t want to harp on about how sick I was … I will leave that for another time as for now, I just want to keep moving forward:

Just before I cut back on my meds:
https://c2.staticflickr.com/9/8081/29202698153_01a1b92184_o.jpg

Below - Off the meds and as of 21/09/2016:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwKl-J-Q_zE&feature=youtu.be

Like I said before, I still struggle with communication and not as happy as many "success" stories seem to imply when regaining ones health. It's not that simple ... at least not for complex cases struggling to live in a world as corrupt and toxic as this one be. Alas ... I can tell you the reduction in physical pain and boost in vitality does indeed make breathing much easier. Whilst not quite a representation of perfection after a long haul, anyone can make the decision to stop killing themselves with whatever addiction one self medicates with and find reason to keep breathing.
______________________________________________

Dahila ... now that I have got that out of the way.

Srry you are having a bad time with those depts. I can sympathize fully. Today I also had some issues re my new phone (recalled due to battery issues - Galaxy Note 7) where I copped a few idiots that talked over the top of me. I had to tell them to slow down to which they then started speaking retarded to me. You get the picture. People are like robots on cyber speed with no time to treat others like humans ... or we humans have evolved into machines. Either way - I prefer to keep to myself and do what I can to alleviate the pain of this existence. In saying that, it does get better to endure without consuming all that crap they say will make us better. That shit is what is killing us.

Dahila

09-21-2016, 06:18 AM

I agree................still no voice, shoot my market on Saturday:(

Ponder

09-21-2016, 01:47 PM

Just keep taking the next step I guess. Coming the distance is one thing, but to keep going is another. Currently I am not in my inspirational mode due to the cutting back on my nutritional intake re my latest procedure. This has affected my mojo. Thankfully I am in the process of correcting that where this morning I am feeling much better and once more starting to incorporate some green juices back into my diet. Next step is to start going back to the gym more regularly, however I really struggle being around others like so. BUT - keeping focused on my goals helps to keep me from feeding back on those negative thoughts that typically derail me.

Healthy Body / Healthy Mind ... whilst yes that makes sense, it's really not that simple for me. Other people can still make the process of socializing quite difficult even when we are content with where we are at. Add to that the residual effect of being bound up so long in our sickly condition of both body and mind. I think the mind takes much longer to catch up once we figure we have control of our body. This is why learning to relax is as crucial.

Hows your meditation practices going Dahila?

Dahila

09-21-2016, 03:49 PM

well my meditation practices are on and off like always. i know I should do it every day ............. even when you are not in inspirational mood you do inspire. do you think captain comes to read us? He called us Cyber bullies, jeez what a jerk.
I am still not ok, it is some kind of cold that is with me for weeks, I hope is just allergies like my doc suggested. She gave me allergy meds and it seems to work for my sinuses, no headache anymore:)) It is a reason to be happy :)
I should go and eat something but it feels that food is expanding in my mouth.....................but i have to keep snacking every 4 hours or so.........

Ponder

09-21-2016, 05:37 PM

Whatever works for you and you are happy to continue with pleases me.

You know such a claim is not true. Please let's not give it any credit. Let's just focus on what matters for us & others when able.

Thanks for your kind words.

Srry to hear your still not so well, but pleased your feeling in a better mood. :)

Dahila

09-21-2016, 07:15 PM

I need to recover my voice and on Monday I am going to fight with these agencies

Ponder

09-23-2016, 02:56 AM

I'm doing my best to avoid the fighting, but understand the desire to stand our ground. Today some guy got in my face, when I had unknowingly used a piece of equipment that he was still using. It happens when people use more than one piece of equipment to exercise with. (It's hard to tell who is using what when people are doing that (super sets) - I only use one piece of equipment at one time) I feel like complaining to the gym about it, however have already lodged a complaint on another matter in the past. I've decided to do as I mentioned some time ago and start going in the middle of the day. I don't like the gym mentality at all. I've had a few contracts with various gyms in the past. I think this will be my last one. My contract has a while to go yet, but no matter. I will make the most of it. I seem to get benefits lifting weights as little as twice a week. Seems enough just to keep me well toned. It's good to be in a spot where just the act of moving is enjoyable enough. That's been a huge and positive change for me as opposed to pushing myself so hard.

WALKING is still very much something I do every day & enjoy very much. I would be lost without doing that.

Since doing the above video re my water fast preparation, I have been eating super clean and keeping well hydrated. I have a good feeling about my up coming water fast. Whilst I have a plan, I'll be playing that by ear and ready to alter my goal according to how I feel.

I did some yard work today and looking to clean up my veggie patch for a new crop of sliver beat and maybe something else.

Today's Photo:
https://c1.staticflickr.com/9/8118/29241107704_2b1e3c6f54_z.jpg

Ponder

09-23-2016, 06:53 PM

Remember how I said I like to people watch with my camera? (Great past time for social phobia by the way :) )

https://c5.staticflickr.com/9/8452/29534148252_cefdb71a7f_b.jpg

I'm looking at buying a another camera especially for doing so:
83XOptical Zoom
http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/p900_zps7dk6b3cp.png
https://www.dpreview.com/articles/2417488569/a-closer-look-at-the-nikon-coolpix-p900-megazoom

Now that I once again have a good camera, I don't mind playing with a super zoom for fun and games. :)
I should have the means in a couple of weeks and then hopefully I will be able to share some of the fun in here.

OK ... time to get into the housework. Keeping busy ... hope to have the trailer in the yard by days end and prepping the veggie patch for its next crop.

Ponder

09-23-2016, 07:03 PM

Now that's a Sunset!!! Captured with the proposed camera I am looking at:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0osnQMf-T4

Ponder

09-24-2016, 02:33 PM

Damn … just lost another post. Smiles … I need to go for a walk at any rate. I hope this finds you all well. Long story short I have been struggling but no my triggers. I also know I am still purging as I’m going through a cleansing period. Best I can do is allowing myself to feel the benefits and ride with the emotion as best I can. I know I will feel much lighter letting go of all the pent up residual garbage that reside within. I am also coming to see that the cleansing does never stops.

There will always be people that make ones recovery very challenging. I have a good feeling that my cycle of racing thoughts and the voids I’ve been encountering are soon to give way to more an expanse of peace … in some form or other.

It’s all in the holding … Thanks for listening.

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/exspansive_zps2hd9pbqv.jpg

Ponder

09-24-2016, 07:09 PM

My video skills could do with improvement, so I have decided to start practicing from scratch. Here are a few shots I threw together of my back yards this morning. No tripod - details of video in the description. I'll throw more sequenced shots of the garden to show case is when I have the time. Hope your all doing well enough. ;)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLvBCUUDKp0

I think now is a safe enough time to go to the gym. lol

Dahila

09-24-2016, 08:13 PM

Fantastic, if you need some improvement, I will not take another pic. :(( I enjoyed the videos and the pic from the cave is breathtaking.........
I had actually good day at market, I am trying to improve the way it looks. The booth. I took some pics and will share when I remember to move them to computer ;)
I just finished making cleaning solution (2 kinds) for my daughter and the client. Tomorrow I must make a lotion and maybe some BB bath bombs ;) Exiting is it not.
I feel much better , the voice is back, but when I think about fighting for myself I feel sick................yeah my social phobia is back. Strange that I do so well selling even with my accent, heavy one.
Greetings from IMS, I could not wait any longer and wrote to him a short note, got back he is fine and happy :)) Is it the greatest news?

Ponder

09-25-2016, 02:50 PM

Really pleased to hear you like so. :) :) :)

HI IMS !!!!!! That guy was an inspiration. Any chance IMS will ever come back? I understand if not.

No matter about the Social Phobia ... it's not really the sickness or the core of our issues. Sometimes is better to redirect our attention to a point that allows us to function within a realm where we can be more in tune with ourselves and others ... where it counts. We do that right ... and then we can do a full circle that ends on a good note ... unlike the full circle that often comes about from everyday prescriptions.

Lets just savor the good moments and endure the spaces in between knowing that whatever the score, we choose to remain free.

You do well ... because you know these things and much more.

Time for my walk ... catch up soon.

Dahila

09-25-2016, 08:17 PM

thanks, I do not think IMS misses the place but he misses us. that's for sure;)) the threads I see " Whyyyyyyyyyyy can I not cry anymore" it looks like kindergarden now

Ponder

09-26-2016, 02:52 AM

Then I can only wonder what led IMS here? I suppose Google did like it did me.

Ponder

09-26-2016, 03:27 PM

Morning Guys - Some morning photos I just took:

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/3%20%20blog%20sized_zpsj14cpazb.jpg (https://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/29916272366/in/dateposted-public/)

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/2%20%20blog%20sized_zps6hfwtozh.jpg (https://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/29950391175/in/dateposted-public/)

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/4%20blog%20sized_zpslbn1ybfj.jpg (https://c2.staticflickr.com/6/5768/29656704760_190c18da1d_o.jpg)

I ended up ordering another camera. I went with the super zoom (Nikon P900) bridge camera ... check out the below pic to see just how far in can zoom in:
https://c3.staticflickr.com/9/8094/29640151850_554e129e19.jpg (https://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/29640151850/sizes/o/)
Photo Credit & Detailed Pictures @:
https://photographylife.com/what-does-a-24-2000mm-zoom-range-actually-look-like

Ponder

09-27-2016, 04:40 PM

Affirmations: I remember you once saying your not much into affirmations Dahila ... but I just wanted to touch on it a little on how it works for me. More so Setting Intentions I guess or at least working towards a reality that we wish for ourselves without spending too much time/energy on the seeking.

If you want something bad enough, you can have it! I don't know if you remember Dahila ... in one of my videos way back. Maybe John remember if he had seen it. I was sitting in my little ultralight chair with eyes darting about pondering the desire for a new camera. ".....maybe 30X Optical Zoom!..." I says to the camera during my Vlog. Yadda Yadda, I also went on about the thought of getting myself a recording device to record the birds and what not about the place.

I finally did! :) I not only ended up trumping the idea of 30Xzoom by ordering 83X instead ... I just purchased some audio gear this very day. It's by no means Professional Gear - but I am very happy how things have fallen into place having endured in tackling the path to arrive and be the person who I be. Having said that though ... I acknowledge my confidence still takes a hit when out and about in the public domain. It need not be so and something I'm hoping to work on next.

Not meaning to go off track - What works for me is very much making constant affirmations, but not that kind where people recite to themselves constantly. I work up to them slowly with first setting the intention knowing full well what it's going to take before even taking my first step. I guess it could be viewed as intense ... but more so a focused approach with knowing what it is that I really want. I don't always succeed either ... but then comes to play that benefit of repeated acts ... as opposed to repeated words (Empty Prayers - AKA Pass The Buck). As in I will just start from scratch if things do not work out ... take a break if needed ... but I will come back and keep trying until I reach that point I want to be at.

Thankfully for me ... I do not subscribe to the usual ideals/expectations of what makes a person ideal/accepted (rolls eyes) ... I just want to accept myself ... which is why I prefer to speak to myself and do so in the tone I would like to be received and or spoken to by others. I NOTE ... whilst I often refer to my approach of reaching out by being my own audience ... of course I want to be accepted by others ... I believe it is inherent but not in your atypical marketed religious/economic profiting way/pitch.

Random are my thoughts ... mostly just because I got a phone call with a distant friend who wants to play. :) I do have friends and for that I am thankful ... yet another irony ... although distant they be and a few locals ... I still yearn to make contact with myself on whatever level so that I can truly be free.

The only problem with affirming, is knowing what I really want ... most times things only fall into place when I'm done with the seeking and spend more time on the doing. On that note ... I think I will return that call, and get on with the doing.

Forgive the random steer ... I log back in later when my time is done and then plan our some more doing. :)

Next Purchase ... DONE ... Tick:

Field Recording .. a whole new hobby in itself: (I'll slowly build on that hobby as well) FIND WHAT YOU ENJOY AND START CREATING POSITIVE FEELINGS : )
https://c2.staticflickr.com/6/5007/29890260501_9ec9f868ed_o.png

Ponder

09-28-2016, 03:22 AM

Big day today. Finished spending all my profit from the eBay selling and now have more tools on the way. I've started collecting some video footage of the local area to edit sometime later. I got plenty of sun today - perhaps a little too much. I got my midday gym work out done which is always good. Midday seems a good time for me to avoid the early morning testosterone triggers.

I've planned with my eldest daughter to start a new walk/jog/walk/jog program. Similar to the one we did not so long ago. I'm just going to make sure I get the water fast over and done with first. I'm please to say that she is looking forward to starting a new routine.

My eating clean is going well enough. :) I'm thinking of reducing the prep time down to 3 weeks which will see me juicing in the coming week.

That's about it for now. Keeping dedicated to the task at hand ... not much to cry about today which is pretty good!!! lol

Ponder

09-28-2016, 02:34 PM

Time to take my pill -> A glass of home made prune juice & an hours walk! LMFAO ;) But yes sir re ... dat be true.

Adios ... until next post.

Ponder

09-29-2016, 04:54 AM

I gave in today and picked up some processed food that came in plastic wrap! ... To be fair much of the whole foods I purchased tend to come in a plastic bag in one form or another. I wanted to try out making the less toxic/harmful snack that I could. I felt it important to relax my food for medicine mentality just a little if not to inspire additional healing and break my rut. So it was I bought some chick pea flower and to my surprise all I need do was add water to create my own flat bread. I used some pesta ground Celtic salt and a little ground pepper as well:

https://c2.staticflickr.com/9/8133/29374902353_098458040a_b.jpg

This is the underside of the bread after flipping the tray when cooled down. It held together quite well ... although I did cut it into small square and used avocado plus home made jam for topping.
https://c5.staticflickr.com/9/8494/29373867324_c175fce426_b.jpg

It went down AWESOME!!!! Now I have a got to recipe if in the mood to relax on my more strict routine.

We recently picked up a ceramic slow cooker for $18.00au in an opp shop - pictured below:

https://c8.staticflickr.com/6/5795/29918447591_6c5d7d699d_b.jpg

Great for slow cooking my beans/legumes :)

I got some more yard work down today and also did a dump run. More work to go in the garden ... have received my seeds to plant so will get on to that soon enough. My mentor friend is coming over for his last visit tomorrow. Been two year I was on that scheme ... it served me well! Gym day tomorrow ... feeling pretty good with my dietary intake of late which is damn pretty good for others who consider not eating meat the kiss of death. I've even given eggs the flick and feeling much better since I did. Onions and Garlic I no longer consume either. Memeber of the pungen family ... kill off a lot of Good bacteria as well as bad. When you get yourself to a super clean stage, it's easy to feel how certain foods affect the body negatively. It's taken me like years to work out what's good and what is not for me. Soaking my grains and nuts in apple cider vinegar is one thing, but my skin reacts to vinegary food as well as fermented too.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Time for some quality sleep. Very pleased to say that's been going well. Lots of work in the kitchen and with routine ... but well worth it to keep away from the doctors who seem to only make me sick. LOL @ those you feel the need to tell others "Be sure to see your doctor" ... we have truly been brainwashed to give so much credit to those we feel the need to keep offloading knowing full well they will only give us the comfort we seek.

Yadda Yadda ... not in here to make things easy ... I'm in this space to do what the &^%# it takes.

Adios ... Until next post. : ) : ) : ) : )

Ponder

09-29-2016, 05:06 AM

I know that people will not appreciate this thread in the medication section because they are under the spell highlighted in this documentary - so for my own records and referral ... I link this AWESOME DOCO in here as well:

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKU36Jm9xaU)
______________________________

The U.S. is 5 % of the world's population, but consumes 75 % of the prescription drugs

"Just ask your doctor" http://www.sherv.net/cm/emo/laughing/pointing-and-laughing.gif

https://c5.staticflickr.com/6/5246/29887898412_01de52b7b2_o.jpg

Prescription Thugs - The Doco:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKU36Jm9xaU

Ponder

09-29-2016, 03:35 PM

Keeping dedicated to the task of staying clean:

https://c7.staticflickr.com/6/5474/29717611110_bb2d2b71ee_b.jpg (https://c2.staticflickr.com/6/5474/29717611110_23701a85d1_o.jpg)

Dried - Soaked - Peeled Fava/Broad Beans ready to be boiled for 10 minutes then slow cooked.

I admit it took quite an effort, but I figure I will get more efficient as I have done in other areas of home food processing. I have worked out how to do the red kidney beans and do them safely as like these fava beans can be poisonous with some people more sustainable than others. Takes a bit of research to understand all that. Slow cooking and rolling boil times to eliminate toxins regarding fava beans has not been easy to find. Whether after taking the skin off (which I don't do with red kidney beans - but do a rolling 10 minute boil) reduces the rolling boil needed and then factoring in using dried beans are all information that is not well written about. I will soon find out after meals of eating like so. I think 10 mintue rolling boil is way more than enough for fava beans after a LONG soak in Apple Cider Vinegar ... a good wash ... then especially having pelled them. In fact ... after doing all that, the beans already looked like mush when I put them in the slow cooker. I don't mind eating them like that though. I ended up leaving my kidney beans on overnight after already having them in a slow cooker all day on low. I found the result quite to my liking! Evenly cooked mash - quite filling and you don't need much.

The beans and legumes have been my main stay whilst I no longer eat meat (rarely) and it seems to be working rather well. The more I research and base my diet on a scientific level (not moral although no doubt a better direction as far as that goes) - I can see very well now just how much the Protein Myth is as legitimate as say that of the Calcium Myth. Each to their own ... I just lean by experimenting on myself.

Whatever Dave ...

Time for my walk. :)

Ponder

09-29-2016, 07:47 PM

Here's a little one minute clip I threw together one afternoon a few days back:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pF8Gvv5iKog&feature=youtu.be

Niclkkinoo

09-30-2016, 01:16 AM

Do you live somewhere where there are a lot of negative, awful ppl that have skewed your vision of yourself and humanity? Make you can move tho I know it's hard xx

Niclkkinoo

09-30-2016, 01:18 AM

It's beautiful

Ponder

09-30-2016, 03:43 AM

We all live some place where there are a lot of negative people. I don't believe there is anything wrong with my view whatsoever, but thanks for sharing your own nautre. My view could not be any more on target given the success I have built over the last few years. No more mind altering medication that did more damage than that of ones own twisted but rather failed attempt in this here thread.

I've moved house over 30 times and about 100 before that. :) ... Trust me when I say running away does little to help; especially when I'm too busy trying to take the easy way out.

Ponder

09-30-2016, 04:43 AM

Righto ... until we get a reply to that ... let's move on:

THE GYM: Good work out today. Feeling pretty strong although my work outs do tax me a lot more these days. Going midday is defiantly provides a better atmosphere more conducive to my sensitivities. I'm still sticking to a dumbbell and bench only routine with a few body resistance exercises. I'm plan on having my own portable bench and dumbbells when I exit my contract. In the mean time ... I have so much more freedom now that I am not reliant on machines!!! It's a bit like the medication/happiness trap really ... food, sex, lollipops and all that wondrous stuff that makes the world spin for invincible kiddies and old worn out try hards that sadly missed the mark or just constantly depressed because they can never fill their needs "rolls eyes" with a little lol to the latter on that.

When is a toy a toy and a tool a tool ... when do we go from go from playing the field to living like a fool. Or perhaps it's just a matter of being viewed like so when we no longer swim in someone else’s pool. No matter though ... I've been enjoying my walks all the more as now I often catch myself in my own world without a care for the traffic passing by. I got to say that there is real sense of freedom and I savour the moment when catch myself looking down upon myself. I'm like "YEA! - The sun is good and I'm doing what I want to do! :)" Truly ... that's the feeling I often now get when out on my walks. Just let the traffic do it's thing whilst I allow myself to do and be ... to accept whatever it is that's going on inside me.

That's a wrap ... time for a recharge. ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz I note I've been listening to some way out stuff on Tunein Radio - Metaphysical "Stuff" - It's not the first time ... stories abound with such escapes ... it's certainly a case of hearing more the second time round. Despite an indoctrinated feel ... is good to have an open mind, when it comes to any view on topics such as forgiveness and compassion. Bit like watching a sunset or sun rise ... is hard to feel anger or depressed when taking in such a view. For me at least that is how I feel when opening myself up to anything other than the residual of ones imprinted condition ... The more I seek to condition myself, the less I need of our "advanced" (rolls eyes) "society" ... and that my friends feels pretty damn good!

Ponder

09-30-2016, 04:38 PM

Dear Ponder,
Today please go easy and give some thought when prepping you meals. Drink plenty of water and spread out your herbal teas. Keep moving and think good thoughts and maybe, just maybe:
I will not be such a pain in the ass!

Sincerely
Your anal fissure.
_____________________________________

Mind over Medicine lissa rankin
Listened to a podcast today whilst out walking via TuneinRadio:
http://tunein.com/topic/?TopicId=48203833

Alternatively:
Just google "Podcast Mind over Medicine liss rankin" (https://www.google.com.au/search?q=The+drug+lipitor&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&client=firefox-b&gfe_rd=cr&ei=aOPuV7r4H6_r8AfD9IDoAg#q=Podcast+Mind+over+Medi cine+lissa+rankin) or for the book - "BOOK Mind Over Medicine Lissa Rankin (https://www.google.com.au/search?q=The+drug+lipitor&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&client=firefox-b&gfe_rd=cr&ei=aOPuV7r4H6_r8AfD9IDoAg#q=BOOK+Mind+Over+Medicin e+Lissa+Rankin)"

I'm well known for my dislike towards the medical community -especially doctors. However I gave this doctor an ear and glad I did. This doctor highlights where the medical community have got it wrong and where we ourselves can act to heal ourselves.

Just heading into the garden to give this a listen after ripping it into an MP3 ... I trust it's going to be good information ... will be sure to give it some feed back in due time. If you like this kind of thing ... keep checking into my thread as I'm in a good rut for plenty of self healing. Adios ... have a nice day. :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcai0i2tJt0

Ponder

09-30-2016, 07:27 PM

Cool Story - Everyone has their own agenda. I remind myself of that. Something Jesse (forum user / hey buddy hope all is well ??? ) told me way back when I previously linked a few likewise talks.

Many old concepts rehashed and good to see them incorporated the way they have been.

I gleaned much from this talk. Dome things that raised a flag for me, is my view on how quick our culture it to leave others in their suffering - just so they "themselves"can remain pain free. In order for me to get better, I'm going to leave my diseased ridden wife! I can no longer tolerate her constant depressive state. The whole ordeal is draining me of my own life. YES ... All I need to do is leave her and set up a new life. That is how I will heal.

BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ - Incorrect. Yet another quick method that's often met with regret. The concept of Leaving relationships is nothing new, but it's caught on like no tomorrow in our modern age of passing the buck and quick fixes. In this regard I am wary of how practitioners bring in new age concepts like the law of attraction without considering the deeper connections that are vital to properly understand how such concepts should be employed. Takes a LONG time to digest ... sadly many people misinterpret this aspect of removing oneself from negative influences. In some cases for sure, I think cutting people out of our lives has it's place. I just think we need to be very careful when taking such measures, take our time and consider the ramifications that ore not so easily seen. Remorse and bitterness are negative traits that fester for many years when such connections are broken without much thought.

So it is that I stick it out ... For my situation I am prepared to take on board what others may considered unnecessary pain. I much prefer to change my view whilst remaining in a place where I can still help. Long term relationships come with complex dynamics such as codependency which I tend to view as symbiosis. I come to such terms employing much of the same new age babble that's sadly misinterpreted where many people quickly divorce their partners only to run off thinking of nothing but themselves. Then comes the fancy Title of some new age Book that offers instant relief.
_____________________

Yea ... I think I covered that flag as it pretty much came up. None the less ... some really great info.

The only other thing I would add ... is that the focus on relationships to promote fuzzy wuzzy feelings that help us heal ... are as short lived as time you last got up and ran. Much of this advice goes down well with people who are less mentally challenged and have all the means such as money, jobs, houses and all those material things. For those types - they tend to have no trouble rolling up to some prospective group with all their assets and bling bling. In fact ... much of the new age, ted talks, oprha Winfrey crowds and all that jazz ... HELL ... even the eckhart crowed and like wise guru heards have hordes of lost, bored well to do types.

From a perspective where one has absolutely no trust left in humanity and the system in which we reside - I can tell you that despite the agendas which seeming appear to stroke the cat (so to speak) ... there is much to glean from said speakers/teachers as they all pretty much draw from the same well. I just don't see that I "need" to go out and join some club, get a job, join a church, sign up to some group, and or go volunteer my services in order to heal. The last thing many of us complex, insainly negatively conditioned types need, is to think we "need" to go out find the answer in someone else. This is how agendas are sold - whilst at the same time alienates people who are content to live by themselves.

Healthy connections can be made, without being pressured to think that we "must" socialize. I do advocate an inherent need for connections with other beings ... just not in the way many of us are led to believe. That's good news for people who come to understand this. It means we can reach those regenerative states without those false ideals, without the need to go join some club, sign up your email, hand our your number and bla bla bla.

In fact ... the incorporation of deep mediation practices spoken about in this talk kind of make the "need" of shallow connections (listed above) pointless and distracting. The world we live in is what makes us sick ... therefore I would advocate being careful where it is when you go out to "mix" ... only once we are able to find clarity in our solitude are we better able to make well informed decisions ... as opposed to quickly divorcing ones spouse in order to heal. The stats on the latter show just how sick our culture really is.

Don't be disheartened if your labeled with social phobia, OR Whatever!. It's just means your more likely to find the path to healing before those others with all their BS & Bling Bling - those who ONLY think of themselves.

Smiles ... there is a lot of BS to sift through when taking these talks on board ... but none the less ... some of these doctors are slowly getting there as well.

Is good to see ...

Time to get in my garden, start digging and work on my relationship with the sun! I'm telling you guys ... we don't necessarily need other humans in order to find connections that help us heal. It's all a matter of perspective ... I have no business that requires me to sell an agenda ... I just want to help others like myself. Online connections are good enough ... but really ... I'm just connecting with myself ... of course there may be a few seeds that sprout ... but I don't require to sell BS in order for that to happen because I'm happy with how I'm living ... others sadly need to spread thier agenda because that's how they make their living. There is a big difference in that ... and reminding myself of that when taking on another's message helps to filter out the crap but more over ... get to the core of what we ourselves already know. We just need to be guided ... and when we find the mark ... be sure to give credit to "yourself" LOL There ya go, you still be selfish (lol - Not) and find freedom without having to be so quick in running away from others who really need our help.

Off to dig! http://www.sherv.net/cm/emoticons/housework/gardening-smiley-emoticon.gif

Ponder

10-01-2016, 01:32 AM

Time off the keyboard: :)

https://c3.staticflickr.com/6/5206/30004033426_4ddd61f56c_b.jpg
-Magnify- (https://c2.staticflickr.com/6/5206/30004033426_2875e8e055_o.jpg)

Ponder

10-01-2016, 05:24 AM

I've well and truly developed a weak spot in my rigid amour: :)

Home Made Flat Chickpea Bread - with - Avo & Strawberry Jam
https://c1.staticflickr.com/6/5594/29927169432_ce3ee44ede_b.jpg

(https://flic.kr/p/MAyyPS)1 and 1/4 cup of chickpea flour to 1 and 3/4 cup of water (half a teaspoon of grey salt and pepper to taste)
Makes 32 bite sized pieces. Recommended serving 4 small pieces. (Half the packet recommendation)

Dahila

10-01-2016, 06:31 PM

oh this looks so good , give me give me give me some :)
Dave I can not stop laughing cause the ignore you got:))
My stupid doc wanted to put me back on Statins but I showed her the results, and my cholersterol is so much lower, I do not take that F**** med for over 5 months but she does not know
I think a lot with it is my diet now, and it has probably a lot to do with tonic (garlic lemon, honey, water) I make :)
I did not post due being so busy, next week my shipments will come, so I will work on gift baskets.............I am happy I have something to do instead on focusing how my heart changes the rhythm;))

Ponder

10-01-2016, 06:41 PM

Yep Yep - Just getting ready to go to gym now. Really enjoyed our chat :)

I hear ya ... Food is medicine Dahila. I understand there are some aids that do a good job, (I respect and encourage that it if it really helps) but never underestimate the power of food. Your recent weight loss and move to make adjustments for the better re your meds/food, in some ways have helped me! I must thank you for that. TY!

There really are no chemical solutions for lifestyle related problems.

I think only good thoughts towards you current wins - may they continue.

Now I best get off this damn chair and go to the Gym ... I then pick the little one up and take him to the beach.

Dahila

10-01-2016, 08:21 PM

You would not believe what a huge garden salad with goat cheese I had. I love it, Being on Market I go in the morning and get fresh veggies from farmer. No more lettuce in my garden, a lot of tomato left , seleric, beets. dry beans not much more. BTW I am on Kirk's ignore...............I bet he used ignore option. heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee I bet he does not. :)
what a twit , I am being nice now,
Food is everything Dave. My man laughs at me, that I will die healthy. This is no problem. I want to function to the very end, I hope I will be able. For now I focus on me, and on what I do.:)
Today someone came I had read the cards for her, she came with her daughter, and said thanks to me, beside buying a lot of products. My reading come true.........they asked me how do i do it, Tell me Dave what is it? Why there is information available for people in need.............she was in dare need of some hope, Have you ever tapped into universe computer? You are highly sensitive person..............
Yes, we should use the resource available to us; clean simple food, clean water (so hard to find it) not to have too many electronics around us. In my bedroom I have just alarm clock. I would prefer not to have it, but it is a must for me, to get early to sleep at night. I am still on sleeping pill but it is not possible for me to fell asleep without pill. Tried , and had not sleep for 48 hours, almost got heart attack, then I had to take double dose to sleep. It was awful............maybe one day.....

Ponder

10-02-2016, 12:20 AM

I smile at the thought of dying healthy. It’s got to be better than “trying” to live longer or simply giving up and going out with a slow agonising and depressive death. I think the former allows for dying in one’s home, compared to the indignity of tubes and breathing machines in a careless drone operated institution. Of course I am sure our good friend with all the professional contacts will receive his preferred bed side service until the very end. LMFAO @ that illusion.
I’m glad you’re getting some positive feedback on your reading Dahila. See how things just fall into place once we get the balance right. : ) I guess I have an empathic streak to be sure. I know that much. Sadly, much of the food, and all the other chemicals outside our control affect us on those levels very much. I agree about the electronics – especially the wireless tech. So many waves all about us even in our sleeping states – everything runs 24X7.

I just want to clarify a quote I made above → “I understand there are some aids that do a good job…” I said this because I understand medical intervention is very much warranted in certain circumstances. I fully understand where you coming from with that. I may even have to have surgery re my other issue if it does not soon heal. Is good that we both do what we can though … we listen to our pain rather well. : ) -

I managed to take the little one to the beach … just messing with a heap a photos Lisa took and will share a little clip. I understand how you have been busy … just pleased your feeding back when able.
LOL – you’re on IGGY TOO! Heheheheheheheheeeeee Oh well … give it time … it will all come out in the wash.

Ponder

10-02-2016, 03:13 AM

http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/Joey-amp-Pop-At-The-Beach_zps8sjxnwdu.gif I had a really great time at the beach with my grandson today. I set up my camera to take sequential shots and asked my wife to take plenty of them. After resting up for a bit when arriving home, I threw all the photos together to make up a little movie clip. Not sure if the GIF will work as is quite a large file, so I threw together something on Youtube that you might find entertaining. I know the little fella and I enjoyed putting on a show. :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0lGQDjcADM&feature=youtu.be

https://c8.staticflickr.com/6/5340/29433474903_00896076da_o.jpg

Sending warm thoughts to whomever wants them.

Adios ... until next post. :)

Dahila

10-02-2016, 07:02 AM

I think it is most beautiful thing I had seen lately. Wonderful to see you playing like two happy kids. I love it!!!!
What a relieve that you are young enough to give him a father figure, It is important, to take that place. I love the pics,

Ponder

10-03-2016, 12:31 AM

:) Thought you would appreciate the above share.

Watched this Doco on Netflix today with Lisa ... was a good causal watch. Much to glean and quite inspirational - not perfect ... but hopeful. :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yb5ivvcTvRQ

Ponder

10-03-2016, 11:40 PM

V-LOG - WEEK 3 of Water Fast Prep:

WEEK 3 of My Water Fast Prep - It's super clean eating for the next week then I'm into my water fast. Have decided to drop week 4 as I simply can't afford it. Best to fill up my nutritional reserves densely rather than tapper it off in week 4 with not being able to afford the consumption I need:

I say it's week 2 in the vid - but really its the end of week 2 and beginning of week 3. I note an improvement in my skin and also I ended up putting on a little more muscle mass. Personally I am not into muscling up - but giving the water fast I am entering into ... it's best to have some lean mass rather than not. The whole water fast thing is a big research project in itself and not something I recommend just going into willy nilly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBl8As_e1gg&feature=youtu.be
Unlisted - forum linked only.

Ponder

10-05-2016, 02:01 AM

Camera arrived today:

https://c2.staticflickr.com/6/5589/30041495081_00034ddfcf_b.jpg (https://c2.staticflickr.com/6/5589/30041495081_734cfd15e6_o.jpg)

https://c8.staticflickr.com/9/8812/30041493591_8969c6c995_c.jpg (https://c1.staticflickr.com/9/8812/30041493591_2d4866545f_o.jpg)

https://c6.staticflickr.com/6/5019/30041496701_83e802dfbe_b.jpg (https://c2.staticflickr.com/6/5019/30041496701_82ba9282d0_o.jpg)

https://c8.staticflickr.com/9/8773/30041495431_63bbcbf498_b.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/MLEvXM)

It's becoming more of a tool and less of a toy the more I use it. I really need to get myself of matching hood! Versatility will for sure take over once I master the different user modes (journaling/blogging ect...) at varying distances. Fantastic blogging camera - I'll milk whatever else I can out of it soon enough.

Ponder

10-05-2016, 02:01 AM

This was the first test I did with it:

https://c8.staticflickr.com/6/5753/30041497271_e6b43cdb9a_b.jpg

I think I can say I got myself a bird spotting device now. :)

Ponder

10-05-2016, 04:28 PM

Learning to make my own recordings where later I can use them to RELAX :)

For best effect - HEAD PHONE are required and adjust your volume accordingly. I was unable to filter much of the ambient sound. This is all new to me. I require more practice in order to learn the finer points of editing white noise. It would appear doing so is not as easy as voice overs due to the fact that in nature, it is normal for a certain level of white noise to exist. Whilst I will aim to lower the level of white noise in future recordings, the last thing I want to end up with is unnatural sounds. Perhaps the sound with a nearby water fall, adding soft music (not my preference) - and so on may assist with masking white noise. There is much to learn in field recording. For someone as deaf as me ... I'm enjoying this new past time immensely. :)

https://c6.staticflickr.com/9/8550/30055841941_a989988fed_b.jpg (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vt0ZUFStZY4)

Dahila

10-05-2016, 06:25 PM

I am soo impressed :)

Ponder

10-06-2016, 12:08 AM

Better than focusing on the symptoms hey. Alas ... the drama on the big screen is not enough for people these days. lol People have to go about creating there own - I'm just glad that these days I'm not gigging deep holes for everyone else to fall into. Could be worse I guess. ;)

Speaking of drama ... I think I am going to give the walking dead a miss. Looks like the same old dark and dreary shit ... or at least that's what it has become. Why can't people just be satisfied with an ending that's geared towards hope. Sigh. Must have something to do with the producers I guess. Best to stop watching if there ever going to change tact.

Ponder

10-06-2016, 05:26 AM

Righto - this should see me to the end of the week. It's pretty much how my wife and I eat now. It's been a gradual transition and pretty much depicts what I mean when I say eating clean. At least for the most part. My wife is not as hard core as I, but strict enough to make this lifestyle something we enjoy doing together. Monday Next week should see in a good state to start my water fast:

You know that's like over $100:00 au for the fruit and veggies ... AND none of it is organic. (only what I buy online) If it was ... it would be like $300!!!!! [what's even sadder is knowing my kids and grand kid can't afford to eat fruit and veggies like this : ( - BUT they do pretty good for what they are able to afford ... just more processed stuff unfortunately. (*&^%ing ridiculous Grrrr) Very Sad - but lucky for me ... the money I save on MEAT makes up the difference. I have had no .issues with protein and still been able to briskly walk between 1 to 1 & a half hours every days and also doing weights at the gym ... back to every second day ... BUT about to finish up shortly due to the water fast nearing any day now.
http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/Fridge%20Full%20of%20Fruit%20and%20Veggies%201000X _zps9eoofeul.jpg (https://www.flickr.com/photos/71988794@N08/29519114804/sizes/o/)

Today's Photo:
Sadly this guys friend was killed by the neighbor's cat. : ( He still scopes out our yard. Is good to see that our dog is quite tolerant of him. Meanwhile I've been on the end of more than a few dive bombing runs whilst out on my walks as is breading season at the moment.

https://c3.staticflickr.com/9/8554/30035322002_088c01c0b6_o.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/ML7SPm)
My favorite photo for the day ... / week or so.

I must admit though - the seasonal fruit is pretty cheap ... small pineapples 69 Cents each. http://weight-loss.fitness.com/styles/default/xenforo/clear.png (good for the liver apparently - which is something I need to focus on - but not sure if "too"much bromelain is a bad thing ... something my wife said - SIGH --- damn if you do and damn if you don't.) Going by how I feel when I drink if after pressing it ... I think it's good for me. BUT will investigate more of the warnings in this link (http://www.stylecraze.com/articles/is-pineapple-good-for-your-liver/).

https://c6.staticflickr.com/6/5454/30150374765_5dac9b4e82_b.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/MWhxZF)

Ponder

10-07-2016, 04:54 PM

Hi Guys ... only two days away from the water fast.

Here is a write up I just did re my new camera and how I am dealing with it. It's written in a tone from my social phobia side/anxiety side. I hate going out in public ... or even just having to live this life .. yet I try to do my best - which is why I do and write the way I do.
___________________________

Hey Guys - what's up? Just compiling more images to get my head around this Nikon P900. I'm coming to see you really need to work with this camera to get the best results, HOWEVER - even when I am not positioned in the right spot; I find this camera is enjoyable to just use as a spotting scope which still provides take home images that reflect what was going on during my observing session. Especially when I go back over the images and video footage together. In this respect, learning to use a camera as an observing device rather than fuss over pixel perfection, is helping to me see more the subject and also find more engaging scenes. Something that is not so easy for those new to photography & or compulsive types (like me) that get too bogged down with settings, accessories and lenses.

In addition to being used as a spotting scope, easing compulsive tenancies and expanding the mind - The use of Gallery Filters is something that makes what others consider unusable photos VERY usable indeed. It's all a matter of perspective. I not long ago did some art lessons learning to use pastels and nearly ventured into painting. The abundance of candid shots you can achieve from over a kilometer away - (2km with larger boats) is ideal for such creativity. Learning to paint really brought home the importance of using light. (re painting/art - this camera is a great subject finder that you can work from!) I think the more I aim to put myself in the best positions with light in mind whilst shooting from extreme long range distance, the better "images" I will achieve. Again - I can't over emphasize the candid (Natural) shots that can be had when shooting from extreme distances. Also on that note, if your shy (don't like being in public/social phobia/anxious and whatnot) yet have a desire for "people/human behavioral photography" then this camera is awesome for graduated exposure that leads into a comfort zone where you'll be snapping to your hearts content.

I'd like to elaborate how I am dealing with taking photos out in public. It's a bit of an irony for me giving I'm prone to anxiety attacks & don't like society much - yet I find as much solace in observing people as I do nature. Finding a camera and shooting style to capture candid shots is not easy when people are so paranoid as if your brandishing a gun when changing a lens. The Nikon P900 is very big! - & people can clearly see when your in telescopic mode. BUT - I much prefer to be "seen" like that. In fact - I feel more comfortable with my tripod when using this camera. I set up as if I am star gazing ... it's as simple as that. You know those big ass Binos at tourist look out locations that you put a coin into to have a squiz? Just think of it like that - Because that's the kind of views you get when looking trough the view finder of this Nikon Beast. :)

Additionally when set up like that ... and you swing your camera away from the obvious targets such as boats and landmarks, but towards that species known as human - people are less "frightened/scared/aggressive/threatening" when they see that huge lens, compared to a wide angle mobile compact device. For me ... I figure - (I assume) - they are either in distaste that you dare to be seen photographing others of their species - or they care less as they are not the ones being targeted. (possibly both : ) ) That's the two variables I deal with (or is how I perceive) when using this camera and both are easy for me to live with. Whilst the first variable involves a negative emotion, it is more a problem for the other as I am more concerned with legal and ethical issues which I know is all good. The second variable being that most people in the immediate area, including those sitting with disgust - are from a personal level not as bound up as say when a street photographer and or even a tourist with their wide angle camera is snapping close at hand.

So it is ... that once you come to understand that shooting in telescopic mode presents a larger picture (whilst intently focused on something else) to what is really going on, that combined with a tripod out in front for everyone to see - it really brings home ones right to shoot in public as they please. Of course this may mean little to people who just take photos of plants, birds, landscapes and all those types of things ... but not so for those of us who are finding the color somewhat waning with such targets with each passing year. In fact the species responsible for degrading the planet is too busy adding false colors and other wiz bang features with each new techy release; that when I think like so ... pointing the lens directly where it challenges ... is becoming all the more easier. At the end of the day - it's more shooting whilst feeling at ease that helps to make the process less daunting in the immediate area ... however ... that is not always the case. Many street photographers will claim such. They feel at ease so they think everyone else should. Not sure what fantasy world they live in, but it's rarely like that. Yes - it does help ... but not as easy as that. Feeling at ease whilst shooting up close still results in a lot of screwed up faces. Only selfies count this day and age ... anything else brings on a bout of rage.

Shooting at ease whilst snapping from half a click to a kilometer away results in a LOT of candid shots! The quality of those shots may be in question for pixel snobs, but I think they miss the point of observing and very much lost in all their gloss. As I already mentioned this camera offers up a lot of creativity and brings back into focus many of the elements that go into make a good pic. I've never been so absorbed with those elements (outside my camera) and yet on the other hand I have never been so free. :)

https://c8.staticflickr.com/9/8549/30177765015_ddf5cce22b_b.jpg (https://c1.staticflickr.com/9/8549/30177765015_a7025baac3_o.jpg)

Edit ... for those who have not been following me ... the bellow pic shows the location I was shooting from ... with the pier at 1km for the most part and shooting angles ... boats are up to 2km away:
https://c4.staticflickr.com/9/8022/29537058611_d922375570_o.jpg

I'll do some video footage in some kind of opinionated youtube review ... lol ... but one that just aims at the good points and having fun! (all in good time)

Ponder

10-09-2016, 05:27 AM

Tonight Marks the end of week 3 of my water fast prep. Have been on Juice "only" for two days now on the end of 3 weeks eating super clean. Tomorrow marks the beginning water only. I'm kind of glad I'm going the water tomorrow as the juice only has been a lot of work, costly, and also presents the same kind of early hunger period that I experienced with my previous water fasts. Im hoping due to the last few days of juice that I will overcome the hunger/cravings at least by day 3 on water ... I think it was more like day 4 last time.

Previously I busted on day six due to the toxicity level I was undergoing. I was a LOT more toxic then I am now, however I am still concerned about my organs of elimination. I actually had sore kidneys last time ... especially on my right side, to which I recently read a report that pointed to a cyst. Th'e report indicated normal functioning left kidney and since reading up, no mention of polycystic is a good thing. I think I will just have to beep body aware and do all I can to assist my broken anatomy. What's the worst that can happen right?

http://weight-loss.fitness.com/styles/default/xenforo/clear.png
We shall see ...

Better yet ... what's the good that will come of this? - If anything like last time ... This will consolidate all the effort I have put in up till now as well provide me with an excellent base during the reentry phase to fine tune my diet to support not only my liver and kidney, but also my damn anal fissure. The latter being yet another reason to give my ass a break. In fact ... if I end up in hospital ... that will be my reason for doing what I do. I have tried for far too long without any assistance on the matter --- I'll either give that tear long enough time to scar up enough to bear my next passing, or I'll go down feeling like like my kidneys have been flogged beyond repair.

Hmmmmmm - On second thoughts ... I'll just do my best on the reentry phase to find the magic food combination that sees healing continue. I'm just feeling a little antsy ... and know I have a few more days of that to go yet. In fact ... now is the time for me to start my meditations practices, think good thoughts, let negative thoughts come and go as well as that of others ... no more brisk walking, working out ... everything will have to be very steady ... even getting up out of bed and my approach to the way I talk, think, type and act.

I'm pretty sure I got this. Warm water ... keep my body temp in check ... sip and sip enough at the right times ... dry skin rubs, oil pulling and what not ... see what happens. Should be an interesting ride.

Adios ... until next post.

Ponder

10-10-2016, 03:50 AM

Nearing the end of day 1 ... should be an interesting nights sleep:

https://c2.staticflickr.com/6/5080/30147475121_8a7c783b69.jpg

Hope this finds you all well.

How's things going Dahila ... you still somewhere out there?

PS - here is some footage I took on the beach with the new camera.
Srry - but I am not so good with video ... just testing the zoom out for now:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yScPYxT0sJo

Ponder

10-10-2016, 05:13 PM

Day 2 of water fast ... will come back later to post how it's going. In the mean time here is another sound clip from my backyard. [Best if you have headphones otherwise just turn up as needed]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDmA1mFVmgg&feature=youtu.be

Take Care guys ... :)

Ponder

10-11-2016, 02:12 AM

Waterfast EPIC FAIL - Vlog:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSfXA1GJk1A&feature=youtu.be
Unlisted - Forum/s Linked only

I actually used my phone to record the static in the hospital. I left it out of the above V-log as did not want to go to deep into the mental health issues I struggle with. I do however wish to attempt to make a V-log on that just for in here next. All in good time. I remain optimistic as is really in my nature and nature is something I am more in tune with compared that the world in which I do not fiture.

PS - I was that wound up today, that I did not place the white queen on the white square, nor the black queen on the black square. I did at least get White to the Right correct. (correct placement of board) :)

Ponder

10-12-2016, 03:31 PM

Moving On ... Well that was fun ... time to carry on with new challenges. Is so true about all the "stuff" in the back of our heads making its way to the front once we start the purification process. It truly is a toxic world in which we live. The more shit we have to clean, the harder all that backwash hits before making its way out.

Time for my walk and possible a new thread. ;)

Dahila

10-12-2016, 06:58 PM

Hi let me know when you post a new thread , please:))
For the last 4 days I am spending 10 hours each day working on products. eh for one person this and taking care of cooking, shopping, cleaning , I think it is just too much. At least I made time for tomorrow to dig my cana lilies up and dialia's

Ponder

10-13-2016, 03:35 AM

Yep will do and know what you mean. Remember how you use to tell me to slow down? :) Don't worry about telling others they may have to wait as you are a one person operation. Your products are good enough to make others patient. Glad to hear your still getting in some gardening.

Today I decided to buy another one of your food recommendations. Was a bit expensive being organic and all. $7.90au for 850grams of steel cut oats. I use about 100grams .. maybe a little over. I'm still going to soak mine overnight in my home made almond milk. Once I finish with the rolled oats, I'll let you know what I think. Don't cut corners in the kitchen Dahila. Very important that we both remain kind to ourselves by making the effort where it counts.

Dahila

10-13-2016, 07:21 AM

yes the are awesome, I usually cook them at least for 10 minutes. The difference is they are complete not like the cheap ones that bran is off. when we eat grains they must be as close to full grains as possible, The bleaching or enriching it, is chemical process that kills all benefits of food. You are going to like it. Just remember to leave some for face; to wash Lisa's and yours , It is so beneficial for skin:)
On Sunday I had thanksgiving dinner. My man had eat all the meat. I am left with squash (I love it) and sweet potato. This is what I eat for the last 4 days
Yes I sell (so far) a lot comparing to two months ago. I have a good spot now, the busy one:)) Honestly, I would get crazy if I had not work downstairs. I started the bath bombs and small baskets. Hopefully it will bring some income. Bath bombs are selling pretty good
You know I put a lot of attention what we eat. It was so hot this summer I forgot to sow some lettuce and now i need to buy it, it is not as good as mine. Can not dig out my flowers, the only thing I care in garden due hard rain at night. Hopefully I will get it in next week:)

Ponder

10-13-2016, 01:12 PM

Yea - I eat the commercial stuff - Is better than eating a Big Mac ... is all I can really say at this stage Dahila. There is a lot of discouragement for people to sell home grown produce. I don't have enough space here to grow lettuce or anywhere near the amount I would like. Organic is WAY overpriced as you know. I best not go on anymore on that lest dig myself a hole and be stuck in that for the day.

Glad to see 3 smiley faces in your last post there :)

I'm going to set up my eBay table for the day and sell some stuff. That's my plan for the day.

It's good to see you again ... glad your doing well enough and always welcome your advice. :)

Now just one more smiley to match yours for the day. :)

Catch up soon enough.

Dahila

10-13-2016, 04:51 PM

Organic is a selling tool lately, in Canada a few products were checked and actually in had the same pesticides as the commercial. A friend is a beeskeeper and put the heaves in organic field and no organic field, 90% of them in organic field died, where the ones in regular crops flourished................it is all cheating people out of money......eh

Ponder

10-14-2016, 02:24 PM

I KNOW --- I think people have become more toxic than the chemicals themselves. :(

I'm just about to juice a pineapple actually. I smile to think how corrupt it may be, yet generally the thicker skinned veggies and fruits whilst still very much affected, are still better choices than their thin skinned counterparts. For those learning about eating "as" healthy as one can with a restrictive income, check out the "The Dirty Dozen & Clean Fifteen" Just glean what you can.

Yea - I remember well when selling at the markets myself. The guys advertising Organic would walk over other side of the market that morning and pick up a few boxes from on site commercial sellers then fob off as organic. My wife and I were pretty disgusted, but not shocked. Corporations do the same thing but instead do it with words, and people fall for it like sheep. Our language really sucks ... just makes it even harder for those of us already struggling to communicate.

Thx for feeding back Dahila ... is nice to know I'm not just talking to myself ... although I know that's not the case. Have been thinking hard on trying to find purpose of late.

I was thinking next thread title something along the lines of "Dealing With Oppression"

Not sure ... best get my routine started for the day. Little fella coming over for a sleep over this afternoon. Time to kid proof the place and also tie up a few lose ends. Just got over a small but intense bout of food poising (Sigh) and gargling salt water to stave off a sore throat. There is my must walk for the day ... hmmmm ... and garden seeds to foster ... then the very basic house chores ... my hygiene can be a chore at times when the oppressive forces outside start to press in on my walls... I know many in here can relate ... which is why I currently choose this place (one of the very few I can trust) ... point is ... Well there is no point ... I'm just saying it as is.

I'll check in on FB a little more after today when I have a chance. Is always good to catch up on there too. Sorry I don't have room for more friends in there. For me FB is actually quite personal these days. It took a lot of patience and convincing for me to workout that arrangement as currently stands. Just saying so, because I regret not being able to let new friends I make in here join in there as well. Hope that explains a little better why that is the case. Just a respect thing for my other half. Which is fair enough I guess. Some people might see it as too binding and controlling ... but I don't think so. Maybe maybe not ... I understand though. There was once a time being in here caused a lot of tension as well, but hmmmm ... I need space and online journaling is something I don'' t think I will ever give up. If that connection is cut - hmmmm ... things would not bode well for me. I just go from one place to the next and never stop ... so being able to set up camp for as long as I can helps ... but stopping me from being whom I am or able to be ... will only ever happen when I'm no longer able to breath. I think that's been pretty much accepted when it comes to my online journaling.

Whilst is good medicine all round, it's for sure good medicine for those of us told we are hard and complex cases. Is a good way to see just how much we are really NOT - It exposes those so called professionals as no more than fruiterers selling off toxic food as NOT. Nothing personal ... just cold hard facts in a world bursting at the seems always looking for more ways to keep off loading crap.

Have a good day ... catch up soon. Just make the less toxic choice you can and find a warm/cool spot and rest up do what works for you. For now I am in salvage mode ... not all of us need be in some fanciful romantic existence of 24/7 bliss ... that is the mentality that has led us into the current crisis as is. An addictive and blinding affair to be sure (we all know how that is) ... Yet escapism is understandable and a survival mechanism. All interesting stuff ... helps to understand the maze I guess.

tick tick tick. :)

Dahila

10-14-2016, 03:48 PM

I am always reading you, always, lately I am so frustrated with people....... look today someone asked me where to find raw honey. I gave her links and the address. Then she asked about my dialia the ones I have on my prifile . So there ; I will have to ask u to keep it some for me and I will plant it on spring. What the hell. I told her that whatever extra goes to garbage and I am not going to give her anything on spring. I keep through winter only what I need. she came. She brought some commercial sh***t to give me. I said ' I do not use anything with mineral oil and parabens.
Ok she wanted to see my workshop and said I am buying the salve; she wanted to see how much is there, even the weight is on label. Ok I did break a seal opened and she did not buy it. She used it to cover her back. then she wanted to try my last cream. Put it all over her face. You think she bought anything? I wasted two sweet hours i could spend on something which give me pleasure. I am so pissed. She offered that she will sell my stuff. I told her that I do not make business with my friends and selling myself. WTF, people are indecent.
Rant over................:))Do not give writing it is your therapy, very much needed. I use FB most for my business. but you know that. I hope you calm down , I know the last few days for you or rather weeks were draining.... I am so anxious, my social phobia is awful..................see you soon D:)