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TheOriginalFox
09-15-2016, 08:19 AM
Hi all. I've been lurking around the forums for a couple of days, and felt i needed to register and open up to, just, anyone about my issues.

Firstly, sorry for my very first post being a request for your time and help, and i apologize if it becomes lengthy.

I honestly don't know where to start, so i'll just type as things come to mind, sorry if it's unorganized or hard to read. I seem to be able to script things very well in my mind, but when it comes to speaking them out loud, or typing them, my mind goes instantly blank.

This began about 3 years ago, not long after i left my ex boyfriend of 5 years, today I'm 25 years old.



I struggle everyday now to simply leave the house. I put off going to work until 15 minutes before i have to start, because i dread having to be around other people. i feel like the outcast at work because i just quietly get on with my day in my own little world, while my colleagues are loud and leary all day.

My days off work are worse, especially when someone else happens to be home too. I feel completely trapped in my bedroom, uable to leave when someone else is in the house. The thought of leaving my bedroom makes my heart begin to flutter, and i have a deep feeling of fear in my stomach and chest, and i don't know why!

I have absolutely no friends today, besides 'acquaintances' from the past who i never speak to. I feel i have been out of contact with people for so long now, trying to re-connect would be awkward. Today, i just sit at home, in front of my PC killing time on youtube, or playing games alone.

My dream was always, and still is to be a streamer ..... The same way some people buy clothes too small to motivate them to work out, i do with my stuff. I built myself a very expensive gaming PC, Decorated my room to appear 'cool' hoping it will motivate me to actually interact with people and invite people over. When i do fire up a stream, i go to speak, open my mouth and not a single word comes out. My mind goes totally blank and i instantly stop broadcasting and go back to playing alone. Then i look at my room and what i have done to try and help myself and think "Who is this going to impress? NOBODY because you have no friends!"

Whenever my mum cooks a meal and has people over, i push myself to sit around the dinner table with others. I can sit there for a little while, until it seems like peoples voices get louder and louder until its un-bearable, while the room appears to shrink. I feel like i am going to scream, but have to just get up and go quietly back to my room and think about what a weirdo i must appear to people, and cant face them again because i'm scared of what they'll be thinking of me.

Whenever i see old friends organize an event on Facebook, i force myself to go, trying to break out of this fear. I generally get there and park up, but as soon as i can see there are people there, my heart races, it becomes difficult to breath, and i instantly turn around, get back in my car and leave, hoping nobody saw i was there.

These feelings make me want to cry, as i desperately want my old life back, but i cant even cry. I do want to have a good cry, but whenever i feel myself tear up, it turns to rage and anger.

One more example i want to add. I was house sitting for one of my mum's friends a few moths back as she thought it would be good for me to do it instead of her to get some alone time. They have a hot tub that i could use. It's very secluded and the neighbors can't see it. after getting into it, i sat there for about 5 minutes, unable to relax. I had the feeling that the neighbors were somehow staring at me and judging me. What was 5 minutes felt like an hour in there. I had to get out and go inside. It was impossible to breath, my heart was pounding until i had to lay down and literally passed out for a couple of hours. I guess this was a panic attack? They are becoming more frequent now.

It's getting so un-bearable, i now contemplate suicide, every day. I am obsessed with thinking about how i could do it, where i could do it and what preparations i would have to make before i go. I don't think i would, but i am constantly thinking about it.

i'm just so incredibly lonely. I cant bear to be around other people, i can't even ask for help from my brother or mother who i live with, and generally struggle with difficult tasks alone. the loneliness now is getting too much. I even try registering new accounts online, hiding behind a different username, knowing i am completely anonymous, but still i cant interact with people.

With spending so much time alone, my mind now is always racing. for no apparent reason, i hold conversations in my mind, or the most bizarre thoughts will spring to mind. I simply cannot ever switch off!

I have been to see my doctor, as soon as i mentioned the words 'i need to talk about anxiety and depression' he literally sighed, and said "do you just want anti-depressants?" I said no, i need help, but he continued to write me a prescription for Citrallopram and sent me on my way.

I try and talk to my mum and grandmother about it (Who are fantastic listeners, i don't know what i would do without them) but they always say either 'just snap out of it' or 'join a club' Both of which are impossible for me !

I just want to know why this has suddenly happened to me. Why have I gone from being a social butterfly, to a total hermit ?



I know this is very poorly written, and there i a tonne more i could add, but i don't want to waste your time. Simply doing this is overwhelming for me. my hands are shaking as i type, my heart is beating 10 to the dozen, and i cant think of anything to write. i'm going to go lie down now.

Thanks for simply taking the time.

gypsylee
09-15-2016, 07:47 PM
Hi and welcome here..

I really do know how you feel and it's horrible. You aren't losing your mind but it sure feels like you are and that "deep feeling of fear". I'm having my usual morning anxiety and it's hell. I don't have to do ANYTHING today (I'm on a disability pension for this) but I'm feeling like I don't know how I'll get through it. I have to take a couple of Mogadon (benzos) just to face it. They take the edge off a bit but I feel as though I should be in hospital or something. Your doctor sounds about as helpful as most I've seen.. Even my pyschiatrist is jaded and he's one of the better medical professionals I've seen.

Anyway, thanks for posting. One of the worst things about anxiety is that feeling of being the only one who has it, so it helps me to read others' experiences. I spent a year on this forum just reading posts when I felt overwhelmed with anxiety.

Take it easy..
Gypsy x

Anne1221
09-15-2016, 08:22 PM
I wish you would reach out to your brother or mother or both and say, "I need to talk." Show them what you typed on this forum. I do think you have social anxiety and you cannot just "snap out of it." I think you might really need the medication. I take it and although I hate taking it, it has turned my life around. I fought taking it until I couldn't function and then I took it and saw what a difference it made. I don't like the side effects but my life is way to horrible to even contemplate without it, so I put up with the side effects. It takes about 4 weeks to see the benefits, but once it kicks in you should feel much better and be able to do more. And forget any comments that doctor says. Just concentrate on getting better.

careyon
09-18-2016, 09:18 PM
I'm so sorry you are experiencing this. But you've taken the first step, as hard as it may have been for you to post here, you did it! I can't say I know what you're going through, but it sounds lonely. It hurt my heart to hear you say you've been thinking about suicide. Don't do it! The fact that you're still here means there is still purpose to your life. You should get your mom or grandma to go with you to see a different Dr. Meds may help or maybe they can refer you to a psychologist that can help you determine what has brought you to this place since it seems it's not the way you have always been.
I pray for your strength to get through this, I pray for your recover. Again, you've taken a big step writing here. Maybe you can get help by reading some of the other posts and replies. Maybe it would help to speak with a counselor. I know Focus on the Family has a free counseling line, 855-382-5433. It might be worth giving them a call.

Ponder
09-21-2016, 02:18 PM
Not sure this will help, but I figure most of the problem with humans is how we are expected to think, feel and act. How we are expected to fit in with other people.

I don't like when others tell another "you should ..." I even catch myself saying it a lot with my own kids. People say it in here all the time - myself included. It seems we are always judging each other and that alone adds to the problem of how we think, feel and act.

SO - May I suggest ... that you consider the possibility that you already have the answers to making life much better than it currently seems. Making your first post and opening up the way you have is proof enough of that. Seeking help from others is one thing, but doing it in a way where the seeker takes responsibility I tend to see as key to recovery.

I think it's good advice to talk to those that you care about and let them know how your feeling. Just do your best to remain in control and not focus on said weaknesses; but do acknowledge them. Seeing a counselor/psychologist may help as well. Once more comes a suggestion to keep in mind the key of responsibility. What I mean by this ... is not to fall into the trap of blaming others, relying solely on medications and or self medicating without thinking long enough what it is that you want for yourself. People are quick to tell others what they "should or should not do ...."

Keep posting and what ever path you choose; just be sure it's the one "you" want to be on.

Being kind to self is the best way to put loneliness at bay, that despite being alone - you are then much better placed to acknowledge then act, rather than simply react. (to those negative thoughts that plague like so) A good psychologist can help you understand such techniques. Finding new experiences that promote the smallest of positive sparks really helps me. I like your interests very much ... I have many of the same. I also can grow board quickly when not in a good state. I then attempt to go back to another hobby with positive thoughts thinking in new ways. Being grateful for what I have and thinking in any way that counters the negative patterns that come from being complacent ... and or giving in to procrastination that stems from depression.

A psychologist may help you understand recovery methods and why it is that we fall into depression, get anxious and find it hard to fit in. I see one regularly and it helps very much. (You don't have to see the same person all the time. Sometimes you may want to try another psychologist until you find one that you feel comfortable with - I found that helps a lot. Most counselors understand and do not mind at all if you wish to try another) Start by telling your GP [any doctor] that you would like to see a psychologist and also talk about subsidies which in some cases may be free - go back to your GP if your not comfortable with the psychologist and explained just that & ask for another referral ... until you find a psychologist that your comfortable with.)

WELCOME TO THE FORUM - congrats for joining and all the best.

Kirk
09-21-2016, 03:37 PM
Welcome to the forum. You are NOT losing your mind, but just going through a rough patch in your life.
Happy 25th birthday! Try to remember you are still very young and have your whole life ahead of you to
live and enjoy! Eventually you will overcome this and the key is to NEVER give up trying to get better. Talk with and
do whatever is necessary to help get your life back on track. My internal medicine physician has told me the same
thing in the past. You can do it. Just be positive.

TheOriginalFox
09-27-2016, 04:34 AM
Thanks for the support everyone. As said above, although it's not nice to read that other people share similar feelings, it's a little relieving to realise there are others out there suffering the same, and I am not suffering alone.

Apologies for not replying sooner.

I linked my grandmother to my post, which she said really opened her eyes. It says a lot that i cannot say to anyone in person.

Me and my Mum sat and spoke for ages, and found a reputable psychotherapist who i am going to see this Friday. Its seriously daunting, as I really don't know what i'll say to her, or even where i should begin.

Thanks again x

metal4life
09-27-2016, 11:40 AM
TheOriginalFox welcome home!
Youre just like me right now, i sit in my room all day playing games, youtube and just go out when its needed.
I think your cause was the broke up with your boyfriend, becuase when my experience with my first love went
wrong after a while the symptoms got worse i had anxiety before on task that i thought it would be normal doing
which it wasnt. What i recommend you is to make youtube videos first and them try to stream because i make
youtube videos and at the begining i was scared like what the think or if they will like it which i still am and when
someone talks about it i get anxious but it will easier to upload a video when you are ready than being life.

As you may notice like you i got a mess in explaining and telling stuff but in my mind it all makes sense and its organised.
Wow i notice we have a lot in common :D

And bc of the therapist dont worry because they will do the beggining, making you questions with short answers at the
begining to get comfortable, well at least mine does that :D

Lumiere
10-01-2016, 06:19 AM
Hi. I was reading through what you wrote and I started to feel like someone had written down what's going on in my life. You mentioned you wanted to be a streamer and I have that same goal, but can't get myself to actually go through with it. I end up playing games by myself because I have no friends to play them with. What games have you been playing? I'm sorry you're struggling with all this. I hope the person you saw on Friday helped you. I don't what else to say. Sorry. I'm getting anxious just trying to find the words.

overcomeanxietytoday
10-01-2016, 05:44 PM
I feel your pain. I suffer from a lot of your symptoms but mine is getting better.

The first advise I'll give you is to start exercising. By a treadmill if you feel embarrassed jogging outside. Also, lift some weights and if possible do some press ups.

Exercise is a fantastic anti-depressant and it will help to massively boost your mood and your confidence. It releases endorphins, your feel good chemicals.

Next step is to learn some deep breathing techniques.

One I find helpful is to breath in deeply through the nostrils with your mouth shut and while breathing deeply, push out your stomach and air feels you long. Once you've filled up your lungs, then breath out slowly through your mouth slowly as though you're blowing out a candle. As you're blowing out , count one to twenty and the twenty should be basically be at the point you stop breathing out. Of course, the counting should be in your head.

Exercise and press ups especially will make a great difference.

You'll eventually have to see a psychologist.

I have started my own treatment journey which I chronicle in my blog