I'll never have friends...probably

[bluepaintcan123]

I wouldn't consider myself to be an attractive person, inside or out. If anything my personality is off-putting and insensitive to others, and I don't socialize often. I can already see my self on a doomed path and it makes me realize that I will probably be alone forever too. It isn't exactly like anyone would intentionally seek out people with terrible personalities, so I don't really think there is any redemption for me. Sometimes I feel like people are being too sensitive, but other times I feel like I act way too rude and only catch it after its all said and done. Long story short, I am not appealing and will probably never be in a relationship.
I don't know why, but I find it very difficult to really connect and relate to others. It doesn't feel like I'm building a relationship with them, so I end up feeling expendable (or sometimes I don't contact them because I don't feel that connection.) I just wish that I could have a best friend, someone that would consider me their closest friend. Is there even a chance for an insecure person with a rotten personality to have a best friend?
(sorry if this is a downer, but this has been on my mind for some time now)

[Boo Bass]

Hi there

The way you think about yourself is the problem. By assuming you have a rotten personality you are heading for a self fulfilling prophecy.

Stop putting demands on yourself, since if you fail, you will consider yourself s failure in all aspects of your life when in reality there are a lot of things you are succeeding at.

You should see your doctor since you may be on the aspergic spectrum. CBT therapy with a skilful counselor will really help you banish all those negative and illogical beliefs you have about yourself.

You can't foretell the future. You can change.

BB

[MiST]

Boo is right, you should try and value yourself much more. I'll be your friend :)

[Nowuccas]

Hey bluepaintcan123,

I suggest that you view my previous post about insecurity at http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?34250-I-always-feel-like-I-m-being-judged&p=225312#post225312


Check out http://www.wikihow.com/Special:GoogSearch?cx=008953293426798287586%3Amr-gwotjmbs&cof=FORID%3A10&ie=UTF-8&q=making+friends&siteurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wikihow.com%2FMain-Page such as: How to Make Friends: 24 Steps (with Pictures) &
How to Make Friends when You Are Not Social: 8 Steps, &
How to Make Friends Easily if You're a Teen: 7 Steps

Also: http://www.ehow.com/search.html?s=+MAKING+FRIENDS&skin=corporate&t=all like:
How to Make Friends &
How to Make Friends in High School &
How to Make Friends Instantly

Hypnosis is merely a heightened state of suggestibility, in which you are better able to communicate with your subconscious mind. 85% of people are suggestible, to some degree, so you could either preferably seek professional hypnotherapy, or if not an option, hypnosisdownloads.com has ones on: becoming popular, making small talk & conversation starter, and: overcome shyness and social anxiety & meeting people, etc.

Relevant reading:
The Science of Making Friends, (w/DVD): Helping Socially Challenged Teens and Young Adults by Elizabeth Laugeson and John Elder Robison, &
How to Make Friends: 13 Ways I Used To Turn Myself From An Unpopular Loner to Having A Great Circle of Friends... by J. D. David, or more of the higher rated and age appropriate ones at:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nav_search_go?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=making+friends
There are books on social skills; "People Skills," written by Robert Bolton, Ph.D. The book help will help with communication in all areas. It helps when you have anxiety in "people" situations. Others are: The ABCs of Life : Lesson One: The Skills We All Need but Were Never Taught, by Jon Oliver and Michael Ryan, & The Social Work Skills Workbook by Barry Cournoyer, & Conversationally Speaking : Tested New Ways to Increase Your Personal and Social Effectiveness by Alan Garner, from your bookstore, or Amazon.com or BarnesAndNoble.com

-------------------------------------------------------------------

What are your interests? Try to find others with those interests, as they can be the basis for a friendship. Learn to actually listen to what people are saying, before replying. Remember that friendship involves commitment and a regular investment of time and energy.

[Talia_Jo]

Making friends can be tough, I know. I'll be your friend too. :)

[gypsylee]

Friends are overrated ;)

Nah.. As much as people drive me insane I need them. Unfortunately Bearded Dragons and possums don't quite cut it when I'm feeling like I want to die.

Boo Bass mentioned Asperger's which I actually thought as well when I read your post.

Cheers,
Gypsy x

[MiST]

Asparagus syndrome is serious business

http://home.bt.com/images/gus-the-asparagus-man-holds-the-worlds-largest-round-of-asparagus-136388821624110401-140327155806.jpg

[Anne1221]

Yes, absolutely there is an excellent chance you can find a best friend! You just have to meet a lot of people and increase the odds and eventually you will meet some people you click with. I have a neighbor who is so negative and always complains about everything, so then she talks about friends of hers and those people can overlook her negative aspects. While I, on the other hand, have a hard time overlooking negative aspects of others and am very picky. I do think it's my anxiety that causes this. I still have friends, but not as many as other people.

[Kirk]

Of course you can and will have a best friend. What Anne1221 said is correct.