Mother says she cant handle me anymore

[Ikk]

My mother just told me that she can't handle me anymore. She said it pretty angrily even. All this because I honestly told her that I almost never feel relaxed and that I do not think my anxiety over the university will get any better. She has always been nice and understanding and I don't know what to do anymore. I don't have other 'grown-ups' to talk to.

My heart hurts so much.

I don't know what to do.

[Kirk]

Welcome to the forum. If you can't talk to your mother, I would talk to another trusted relative,
trusted friend, clergy, mental health care professional, etc. as this will help you feel better.

[gypsylee]

Hi there and welcome :)

Well this is the story of my life basically. My mother passed her anxiety on to me then couldn't deal with it at all. She manages to suppress it with defence mechanisms that I never developed. So she's never really faced her issues but mine were so severe they couldn't be ignored. She's 75 now and I am in the process of accepting she will never change (or attempt to). It is heartbreaking but I've wasted way too much time and energy trying to get her to accept me or to face her role in all this. My brother passed away in 2014 from a drug overdose - he had the same anxiety disorder - and she still has her head in the sand!

Interestingly, it was during my second year of university when I had my first full-on breakdown and told my parents I couldn't keep going. I can still vividly remember the shame. I was diagnosed with Major Depression and 20+ years later I still experience severe anxiety. If I ever involve my mother she gets really irate and just makes it worse. Many people simply don't have the empathy that's needed to deal with mental illnesses (or even physical illnesses).

Hang in there..
Gypsy x

[makeitstopugh]

I know how you feel. I got all of my anxiety from my mother. She is one of those people that has every single disease in the world. She grew kind of distant with me as I got older. My father was my rock. He recently passed away. My mother is now married to some guy that hardly lets me see her at all and when I can she is allowed over to my house for about an hour and then has to go back home. My relationship with her almost doesn't exist. What makes it even worse is my wife is very jealous of my mother and doesn't know how to handle the fact that I turn to her when I have panic attacks. Usually when it comes to parents they just get so worried about you or so confused as to what to do that they just have to take a step back and throw their hands up. I doubt she is really done with you, she most likely just needs a break. People all cope in their own way. Hell, I don't even wanna be around me when I'm having a major attack. The toll it must take on other people is just overwhelming. Go explain to your mom that you need her and you understand that you aren't always the easiest person to console when you are in the middle of an attack. Tell her you don't mean anything you say while you are freaking out. She needs the reassurance just as much as you do.