Can't Sleep or function

[Anxiety-account]

Hi everyone,

I'm new to this forum, but I'm hoping to get some good advice. I suffer from dwelling on issues. I'll do something wrong and think I could have seriously hurt myself doing it. And then, I'll get "stuck" with dwelling on the past with all the possible outcomes. It's like final fantasy, only in your mind. I'll think about how dumb I am for not being more careful and not thinking things through. Then, I'll continue down the line of events of what could have happened. It does not necessarily apply to a specific event. Anyway, it will raise my adrenaline and the thoughts will hit at the worst possible times, including in the middle of sleep. I'll usually wake up screaming and sweaty. These thoughts will go on for days, weeks, months, and so on. I tend to dwell on other negative outcomes related to these events. I don't know if I have even come to the right place.

[stellaclark25]

Hi there, what you are describing definitely sounds like anxiety, so you are on the right forum. I can relate a lot to what you are saying. For my whole adult life I have been a person who dwells on things and worries excessively. My biggest thing is worrying and regretting things I have said and done in the past, even though I didn't mean anything bad at all. Very rarely I will wake up in the middle of the night screaming, and I've never even thought that it may be related to anxiety, though it's probably at least related. For me, the dwelling and worrying/regret is very frequent, sometimes a daily occurrence, for the past decade or more. Recently I have been trying to make myself believe that it's all in my head and that the outcome can't be changed by me worrying. Unfortunately it is one of those things in life where it's much easier said than done. The way I sometimes do it is to think to myself as if my own person is talking to me; when I feel anxious and worry, I tell myself "ok, you are here in the moment, what is it that is actually negative or hurting you in this very exact moment. You are alive, you are breathing, you can see and feel and smell, and the problems are all in your head. Look around you, whatever objects you see, or people, or traffic, or nature, it's all around you and it's just life. And it moves on with or without you worrying and dwelling. So the best to do is to stay calm, and be nice to people you meet, and think before you speak." This whole scenario takes practice and I'm far from perfect, but you know, sometime it has worked for me, and it's a work in progress. Recently someone told me that we all learn from mistakes, and that makes us better human beings. We can't go into adulthood knowing everything. All the know-it-alls you have met in your life probably are insecure about many things themselves. I hope what I explained makes sense and maybe it is somewhat helpful, and if you have more questions, the people on this forum are very nice and helpful, as I found out recently as well.

[gypsylee]

Hey and welcome :)

I'd say you're in the right place because we are all "thought dwellers" here!

[Kirk]

Welcome to the forum. I would try to talk things out with people you can trust as this may help you overcome your fears.
Therapy and/or medication may also help.

[Anxiety-account]

Thank you to everyone that replied. I'd like to give an example of how I dwell on events that could have resulted in dealth or serious injury. This is a made up scenario that might help with advice I receive. Let's say I'm was soldier that needed to cross one of two fields to get back to base. I was instructed to assess and use the correct field, which did not contain any hidden mines and had complete cover from enemy fire. Instead I chose the field, which was completely exposed and full mines, based on a poor decision. Now somehow I made it across unscathed and make it back to base thinking job well done. It's not until later when I think of all ways I could have died or gotten permanently disabled.

[Anne1221]

Did you ever serve in the military? If so, it would sound like you have PTSD. You definitely have anxiety problems so maybe seeing a therapist would be helpful?

[Anxiety-account]

Did you ever serve in the military? If so, it would sound like you have PTSD. You definitely have anxiety problems so maybe seeing a therapist would be helpful?

Nope, never served. This is just an example of the thought process.

[Anne1221]

I don't do that, but I do come up with terrible scenarios of things that might happen in the future. My therapist taught me that whenever I have "horrible fantasies" about the future, to recognize that as anxiety. So now I just tell myself, "Stop, that's just your anxiety" and I re-focus on something else. Exercise, medication, and doing things I enjoy all help.

[Anxiety-account]

I don't do that, but I do come up with terrible scenarios of things that might happen in the future. My therapist taught me that whenever I have "horrible fantasies" about the future, to recognize that as anxiety. So now I just tell myself, "Stop, that's just your anxiety" and I re-focus on something else. Exercise, medication, and doing things I enjoy all help.

That's why I'm wondering if anxiety only applies to future scenarios, not past situations. Does anyone know if this is true or not? Also, could you give an example of one of those scenarios?

[Anne1221]

I don't know the answer to that because mine all have to do with the future. I know my sister has anxiety and depression and she goes over and over things she said or did in the past. (example: a friendship that she didn't follow up on). An example of mine would be: What am I going to do if I'm 80 and have health problems of if I fall or if everyone around me dies and I don't have enough money and just on and on.