Anxiety Waking Up??

[gypsylee]

Hi guys,

I'm sure there's already heaps of posts about this but I'm lazy and want to make my own :)

I've had debilitating anxiety pretty much my whole life (I'm 42 now) and even though it isn't as bad now, it's still really bad nearly EVERY TIME I wake up. It's like this combination of dread, confusion, loneliness.. And on top of that I will have had bad dreams which linger.

Quite often it's so "painful" (I'd honestly rather wake up in physical pain) I can't bring myself to push through it and get up, so if I don't have to get up I lie down again, go back to sleep and then do it again later! I know this is bad but a lot of the time just the idea of getting up and making a cup of tea feels too difficult.

The other day I actually woke up without anxiety and I was so excited I was telling people on Messenger. I can't even imagine being a person who wakes up without anxiety.

How many of you other anxious people suffer from this? It's horrible and makes me feel like I'm just this "tortured soul" who freaks out as soon as I realise I'm conscious!

Cheers,
Gypsy x

[Anne1221]

Yes, there have been other people posting this so I would say a percentage of anxiety sufferers do say that it's at the worst in the morning. My theory is you're not involved in anything to focus on (say like in the middle the day you would be doing something maybe with others and you would be focused on that). IF you can just concentrate on one thing...tell yourself, I'm just going to get up and get some tea. That's it. Drink the tea and see if that helps you to get going.

[gypsylee]

Thanks Anne.. I do always feel better after about half an hour to an hour.

I think part of my problem is I'm extremely hard on myself, so I wake up feeling scared and then I feel bad about that, and we all know how this becomes a vicious circle with anxiety! So sometimes I do manage to just think "ok I'll make a cup of tea and a hot water bottle" and try not to feel pathetic about that.

Another thing that helps is I play Words With Friends (like Scrabble online) and I'll play a few moves (even though it's the last thing I feel like doing) and that helps get me out of that awful anxious mindset..

[Kirk]

Usually I wake up without anxiety, but it can go down hill quickly from their if I don't feel well.

[stellaclark25]

I have had this experience basically every morning for the past more than 10 years. I wake up tired, confused, and if I had a bad dream, it puts me off for the whole day sometimes. I too feel on some days that I lose all motivation, all confidence to wake up and get through the day. I often sleep in because of how tired I am and how little energy I have. I can't remember the last time I woke up feeling rejuvenated. I have yet to master a way of dealing with my anxiety and depression to the point that I can feel fulfilled with my life.

[Boo Bass]

Yep I'm another one. My anxiety can be crippling in the mprning. I know it's because our metabolic rate is low and that we should get up and move around and drink tea. But I feel no energy to do it and be sides, I'm in a locked prison cell.

[cloudy black]

most mornings i wake up with anxiety and have to get out of bed immediately. but this morning looks like after a long time of anxiety in the morning i have depression as i couldnt face getting up. so i wonder if i am going to go through a long patch of depression. anyways seeing the counselor tomorrow, good thing too as i am struggling today

[Anne1221]

gypsylee...please don't be mad at yourself or hard on yourself for feeling anxious! To me it's like someone with diabetes or lupus feeling bad that they have that. I think you should be VERY PROUD of yourself for all you manage to accomplish in the face of some pretty tough adversity. I was fortunate to have good parents and I can't even imagine having to deal with the anxiety and family issues too.
So you are quite tough and you deserve a pat on the back!

[gypsylee]

Thanks everyone.

Kirk - It's interesting that you don't wake up with anxiety but you still get it. Unless something really stressful happens to me or I have something stressful to do etc, the wake-up anxiety is BY FAR the worst.

Stella - You sound like you have depression. I know they're hard to differentiate but I definitely lean toward the anxiety side. But then as I say, sometimes the anxiety when I wake up is so horrible I just have to lie down and then often fall asleep again. But if I manage to get up and do some stuff (even just talking to people online or playing a game) I can start to feel quite good.

Boo Bass - Are you really in a prison cell??

Cloudy black - What do you do when you get up? I mean if you don't have to go to work or something..

Anne - Thanks again.. Yeah I've always been lucky materially but emotionally I've had it pretty rough. Not to mention my brother's sudden death in 2014. The perfectionism is thanks to my mother.. Who I won't even start on!

[Anne1221]

Yikes! Having anxiety and being in a prison cell! I can't even imagine that. (Gypsylee, Boo Bass has mentioned before that he had to get his medication while in jail, so he's serious).

[Kuma]

Hi Gypsylee. I don't come here much any more -- just a quick stop by on rare occassion. But I saw your note and thought I would respond because my anxiety also tends to be worst in the morning. Of course, it is impossible to know with certainty what the reason is, but I suspect it has to do with cortisol (stress hormone) levels tending to be highest in the morning. When cortisol levels subside, anxiety may subside too. I find when I get out of bed and force myself to "get going" the anxiety is often better. But it sometimes takes quite a push to get myself to do that. Best wishes, Kuma

[gypsylee]

Hey Kuma!

Yeah I had a long break too but came back a few months ago because my anxiety was really bad again *sigh*. I'm doing better now but this waking anxiety is getting to me. It really does seem to be some kind of more "physical" thing because well, I've been asleep! It's similar to this weird adrenaline thing I started getting last year, which I suspect has something to do with female hormones. The two could even be related..

Anyway, good to see you :)
Gypsy x

[Kirk]

My anxiety can be symptom based, so when I wake up and have no symptoms I am OK. For example, if I get a pain,
have a heart skip, then, wham, my thoughts can change quickly.

[Kirk]

Like last night, I went to be bed fine and woke up to go to the bathroom at 3am. I tried to go back to sleep,
but, I felt a little nauseous, felt a little warm and then had trouble going back to sleep as I was a bit
concerned about my symptoms.

[gypsylee]

Oh ok, so you have health anxiety? Mine's much more social anxiety..

[Kirk]

Yep, good old health anxiety and sometimes it is not too fun.

[cloudy black]

[QUOTE=gypsylee;230674]Thanks everyone.

Cloudy black - What do you do when you get up? I mean if you don't have to go to work or something..
i try to keep to a routine although that is difficult at the mo as i am going through lots of stress just when i thought it couldnt get anyworse..yesterday and today..

so mostly i make sure that the inner thinking doesnt run the show. for example i no longer finish the thought i abruptly stop it and come back to me my breath, nature. this helps

[salvator here]

I've been waking up with anxiety to, and it (for me) sets the tone as to how the rest of the day usually goes. I've been waking up manic again as well with no logical reason for such. I'm still unemployed and my sleep schedule is nonexistent at this point. The only thing that seems to help me "reset" is to try to go back to bed, but that isn't always convenient and wasting the entire day away sleeping only ads further to my overall depression. I will say I've been severely depressed just about every night before bed and can't seem to unwind for anything, so I shouldn't be surprised I'm not waking up in good shape or refreshed.

I really don't know what to do at this point and it wearing down my resolve.

[gypsylee]

Hey Salvator..

I generally manage to come good after a while (with the help of about 5 cups of tea, numerous cigarettes, music videos etc). But that first half hour to an hour is pretty nasty. I'm not working either and my daughter is with her father, so I know how easy it is for your routine to be non-existent. I wouldn't say I'm particularly depressed (compared to other times in my life) but I have a lot of anxiety in the background because of things that have happened and certain people in my life.

Anyway, I think a lot of people are depressed atm. I spoke to two guys just yesterday (unrelated to this forum) who said they were really depressed. So you aren't alone, that's for sure.

[cloudy black]

my youngest bro is suicidally depressed at the mo. but then he is going through a shit time but he aint spoke this way before. and he aint got a mh problem or at least he has not be diagnosed. he is on anti depressant meds and i am trying to encourage him to ring Samaritans.

[gypsylee]

I'm trying to shake the anxiety right now ugh. It's just this feeling of absolute dread and like "I don't want to be awake.. How am I going to make it through this day??"

I'm pretty sure the collective depression is because our culture is so unhealthy and everyone is so disconnected (from each other and from nature). Then you have social media where everyone pretends their lives are so great. The stories I hear behind the scenes are very different to the posts I see on FB etc.

I live next to a freeway and all day (and half the night) I hear the traffic. Apparently the noise level isn't enough for them to build a barrier but it sure is enough to add to my anxiety and depression. Then I look at the price of real estate around here and count my blessings but all I can really think is "humans aren't meant to live like this". I just want to hear the birds and the weather; not the damn cars, motorbikes and trucks. I wear earplugs a lot and my ears got so blocked with wax I went half deaf lol.

Anyway, just ranting and trying to ease this shitty feeling. Now I'll go watch music videos, drink tea and smoke cigarettes..

Gypsy x