petrichor
08-30-2016, 12:09 PM
hello, i just really felt the need to get this thing off my chest...
i first started taking art lessons about a month ago and today happened to be one of the worst days of my life. i've moved to charcoal drawings, and the drawing i brought in for today's lesson was edited a little by my art teacher. my anxiety began to pick up when i embarrassed myself in front of my teacher. i felt like he thought i was lost and confused and stupid. when i began a sketch for my next charcoal drawing, that's when everything spiraled downhill. i had to make the sketch double its original, and i did take right measurements, but when it came to the head, i ended up making it way smaller. he stopped by my desk and i asked if what i had done so far was okay. he responded with a "no" and told me to get up. he then proceeded to do the top half of the woman i was sketching and i was just torn apart. i was standing there watching him, all the while this bubble of panic began to form in my chest. i wanted to cry. i work unbelievably slow when sketching, like i am not fast at all. today's lesson just made me feel like i had disappointed him so much. i feel like he despises me and thinks i'm stupid. sadly, i also feel like a failure, and this feeling is not new to me.
i just feel so discouraged, like i will never be able to be as good as my peers.
that is all, thank you.
i first started taking art lessons about a month ago and today happened to be one of the worst days of my life. i've moved to charcoal drawings, and the drawing i brought in for today's lesson was edited a little by my art teacher. my anxiety began to pick up when i embarrassed myself in front of my teacher. i felt like he thought i was lost and confused and stupid. when i began a sketch for my next charcoal drawing, that's when everything spiraled downhill. i had to make the sketch double its original, and i did take right measurements, but when it came to the head, i ended up making it way smaller. he stopped by my desk and i asked if what i had done so far was okay. he responded with a "no" and told me to get up. he then proceeded to do the top half of the woman i was sketching and i was just torn apart. i was standing there watching him, all the while this bubble of panic began to form in my chest. i wanted to cry. i work unbelievably slow when sketching, like i am not fast at all. today's lesson just made me feel like i had disappointed him so much. i feel like he despises me and thinks i'm stupid. sadly, i also feel like a failure, and this feeling is not new to me.
i just feel so discouraged, like i will never be able to be as good as my peers.
that is all, thank you.