A chain reaction

[Lveil1987]

I am new to these forums and do feel way more comfortable being here. I have had horrid anxiety my whole life and lately I've been having what I call chain reaction stress. When something small and inconvenient happens I dwell on it until I start thinking of worse and worse things that "could" happen as a result. Example my cat spilled a bowl of milk, anxious about the mess and then I start to think. What if this causes me to get roaches, what if that means I have to have the place bug bombed, where will I go if that needs to happen, will anyone be angry at me for allowing this to happen. It is that chain that gets worse and just destroys me. I wonder if anyone one has this and if they have things they do to fight it.

Thank you so much

[Kirk]

Welcome to the forum. I would talk over your worries with family members, trusted friends, clergy, mental health
professional, etc. who may be able to help you get rid of your chain reaction worrying. Try to also distract
yourself with things you enjoy, read self help books, practice relaxation exercises such as deep breathing, etc.

[Nowuccas]

Hey Lveil1987,

The following article may have something to offer:

From http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/health/mind/worrying-doesnt-solve-your-problems-it-is-the-problem/news-story/3d08078c2d45c669695d6b4821a8fab3

DO YOU worry too much? Do you find yourself worrying excessively about your health, your finances, your job security, what people think of you, or if you will be able to get to sleep?
Worrying excessively can lead to a host of physical and mental problems such as hypochondria, muscle tension, chronic indigestion, poor sleep, irrational fears, panic, self-consciousness, stage fright, compulsive behaviours, and perfectionism.
You may think that worrying will help you avoid bad things from happening, lessen the impact of bad things, or help you come up with solutions. But worrying is actually the problem, not the solution.
The following strategies have been found to help worriers break the cycle and eliminate unhelpful thoughts.

1. SET ASIDE A WORRY PERIOD
Rather than be held hostage to disruptive worrying thoughts throughout the day give yourself permission to postpone worrying until later.
During the day (or night) jot down any worries or anxious thoughts that arise and then at a prearranged time, preferably when you’re in a good mood as this will promote realistic and creative problem-solving thinking, sit down for 15 minutes and address each worry.
By the time you return to thinking about the worry you’ll probably discover that it’s not such a problem after all.
Setting aside a worry period allows you to think things through clearly.
Setting aside a worry period allows you to think things through clearly.

2. DETERMINE IF THE WORRY IS SOLVABLE
A solvable worry is one that you can take action on right away. For example, you may be worried about the content of a presentation you have to give next week to a manager. However, by phoning the manager you can take immediate action to clarify the details of the presentation.
An unsolvable worry is one over which you have no control and there is nothing you can do now that will lead to a solution. For example, thinking “What if I don’t get to sleep?” or “What if I get cancer?”
To help distinguish whether your worry is solvable or unsolvable ask the following questions:
• Is the problem my problem? If not, don’t worry about it.
• Do I have control over the problem? If not, don’t worry about it.
• Does the problem need solving now? If it does, take action to solve it. If not, don’t worry about it.

3. IF THE WORRY IS SOLVABLE, WORK ON A SOLUTION
Once you determine that a worry is solvable brainstorm as many possible solutions you can think of. Make sure you stay focused on the things you can change and not on circumstances or other people which you can’t change.
Aim at finding a realistic and achievable solution and avoid looking for a perfect solution. After you have evaluated all of your options choose the most reasonable one and then make a plan of action.

4. IF THE WORRY IS UNSOLVABLE, MANAGE YOUR EMOTIONS
Sometimes you can’t solve a problem because either it’s not your problem (you are worried about your daughter’s failing marriage), it’s uncontrollable (you are worried whether it will rain during the picnic), or it can’t be resolved right away (you are worried about your factory closing in two years’ time).
When this happens focus on managing your own emotions using the following techniques:
• Mindfulness: Because worrying is usually focused on what might happen in the future mindfulness keeps your attention in the present and thus worry-free.
• Social support: Talking to friends about your worry can help as long as you don’t get stuck in shuffle mode where you replay over and over again your problem.
• Exercise: This is one of the best ways I know of for burning off pent-up anxious feelings and for gaining perspective about a worry.
• Relax: Because worriers tend to be in a constant state of tension, it is important that you regularly try to relax using music, meditation, time outdoors, or leisure activities.

5. EMBRACE UNCERTAINTY TO REDUCE WORRYING
Chronic worriers have trouble tolerating uncertainty or unpredictability. “What will I do if I don’t get the promotion?” or “What if my blind date doesn’t like me?” However, thinking about all the things that could go wrong in your life won’t keep bad things or unexpected events from occurring.
The solution is to accept that uncertainty is a part of life and then choose to focus on the parts that you can control and put all of your energies into making the most of them and appreciating them.

6. CHALLENGE WORRYING THOUGHTS
Chronic worriers tend to have two types of thoughts. First, they over-estimate the possibility that bad things will happen, and second, they underestimate their own ability at handling these things. These thoughts aren’t based on reality or fact and are totally irrational.
You can break these bad thinking habits and develop a more balanced and healthier perspective of your worries by asking the following questions:
• What is the evidence that the worrying thought is true?
• What is the probability that my worry will actually happen?
• When have I successfully handled problems like this before?
• Am I focusing on solutions to my worries?
• Is the way I am thinking helping me or making me feel better?
• What encouraging words would I say to a friend who had this worry?

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Give the Meridian Tapping Technique / EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. It is free via mercola.com or www.tapping.com (13 free videos), or www.eftuniverse.com or www.emofree.com or one of the many YouTube videos. Google: "YouTube; EFT videos".
Professionally instructed is generally preferable (Google: therapists; EFT; [your location] or mercola.com has a locator). - There is a version for use in public places at http://eft.mercola.com (if you like, you can claim to have a headache, as you employ the acupressure massage / tapping on your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind: "Even though I have a tendency to worry, I deeply and completely accept myself)." or words of your own choosing.

Once proficient in the Meridian Tapping Technique / EFT, you could try employing it by tapping your thighs as you walk, stand or sit, subvocalising using your chosen wording. If anyone asks, you could say that it's just a nervous habit.

[stellaclark25]

Hi there. I too experience similar things I would say, at least in terms of excessive worrying about what bad things could happen. For example, I may think about what may happen if I never meet a life partner, or what may happen if my parents become ill at retirement age and aren't able to take care of themselves, and what would that be like if I had a family and couldn't take care of them as much as I would like. Or I worry that I am making the wrong choices in life and may one day wake up to realize it's all too late, and that life is short and that I can't fix things anymore. I can't really speak on ways to overcome, because I too have yet to really figure that out. One thing that has occasionally worked for me is making myself believe that everyone out there deals with something in their life, whether it's anxiety, or low self-esteem, or not having had an easy life in terms of income, living in a poorer country, some may have been abused etc. I try to think that my worries are a part of me, and that I have to calm myself down and realize that although I worry, it is ok to some extent, and to accept the fact that this may go away, or mostly go away, but only in time. One of my problems is that even though I know I worry excessively, I worry about worrying and that makes it even worse. I don't know if I'm explaining it clearly. Basically what I mean is me worrying about my worrying nature just makes things worse, and accepting that I am not perfect, makes it more ok. I think often times, people with anxiety worry a lot, and then also worry about what people may think of them and their worrying. Do you know what I mean? So if you stop worrying what people may think of your worrying (if of course that affects you), then become more at peace that this is internalized for you, and other people's perception is more irrelevant, because we all deal with our own problems and demons.

I hope this helps somewhat :)