Feel low

[Aaron1991]

I'm Aaron, 25 from Manchester, UK

Basically my whole life has been a major struggle wether it's self inflicted or not..

Don't even know where to start!

I'm depressed.. very, have been for many years to the point I'm a shadow of the person I used to be. I was very outgoing, chatty and full of fun up to the age of about 16 - 17 now I'm 25 and barely remember that person back then. Now I'm socially awkward and find it hard to make or keep a fluent conversation unlike when I was younger, I often worry about interactions with others unless I'm comfortable with them.. 9/10 I have to make excuses to the leave the conversation or come out with some stupid remarks to cover the gaps.. also, I'm skinny like 10 stone skinny and feel horrible within myself and the constant stress isn't helping I have bags under my eyes because I'm just that tired, drained and fed up of life and it's shit. My Mum was a druggy until she passed away last year, my dad left when I was 2 weeks old, I've been in and out of care from the age of 9 - 10, I have a short attention span and got diagnosed ADHD at a young age, I have a short temper and often lash out at the first sign of trouble, I'm lazy and can't hold down a job.. I have no concept of money or how to save, I live in a shitty one bedroom flat that I hate, I have 3 kids to 3 different women 1 I don't see, 2 I do.. a boy and a girl the youngest being 4 months and even now we have broke up and gone our seperate ways as she no longer wants a relationship but I do still see my daughter and my whole life has just been a huge fuck up. I just want a simple life like everyone else but a lack motivation and willingness stops that aswell as unpreventable stress that occurs constantly. What can I do.. my heart is in the right place and I do everything to try and please everyone but I just feel like I constantly get shit on.. I feel lonely, angry and upset and don't know what to do with myself anymore. I need a way out and try and improve myself for the sake of others around me like my children.

Help

[Nowuccas]

Hey Aaron,

A previous post follows:

Identify the cause. Was there a triggering event? If so, it is probably reactive (situational) depression: counselling, psychotherapy, or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is indicated. Or was it a more gradual thing, with no apparent cause? (a nutritional deficiency, hypothyroidism, environmental toxicity, or reactions to some medications, such as Advil etc., becomes more likely). St. John's Wort helps most people; tolerance doesn't develop, and the few side effects don't occur often, and even then are normally not severe. It doesn't cause sleeping problems, or weight change, and usually takes at least 2, and generally 4 - 6 weeks to become effective, but can sometimes work quicker than antidepressants.

A multidimensional approach to treating depression without medication follows. All except for no. (7.) are safe to use with medication, but not SJW, because of interactions, and it's sensible to check out anything else first, like supplements, such as SAMe, 5-htp, or L-phenylalanine, with your doctor. (1.) Take at least 4 Omega 3 fish oil supplements, daily: (certified free of mercury) it is best if consumed with an antioxidant, such as an orange, or its FRESHLY SQUEEZED juice. If vitamin E is added, it should be certified as being 100% from natural sources, or it may be synthetic: avoid it! People with the lowest levels are 11 times more likely to be depressed. 58% of Americans are deficient; 90% for those with heavy melanin pigmentation. Go to a doctor and ask for a 25(OH)D, also called 25-hydroxyvitamin D, blood test. When you get the results, don’t follow the typical “normal” reference range, as these are too low. The OPTIMAL value that you’re looking for is 60 ng/ml (150 nmol/l)".

The NOAEL (No observed adverse effect level) specified by the Institute of Medicine is 10,000 IU/day. Around 1 person in 300 is allergic to it, so start out with only 1,000 IU on the first day, if supplementing. Vitamin D is not a true vitamin, but a hormonal substrate that is vitally important for the activation of almost 3,000 genes in the body. Its main cofactors are: zinc, magnesium, vitamin K2, and boron.

Test again after 8 weeks, then at least twice yearly, until you can be confident of being in the required range, but still test annually. The amounts from food and multivitamins are insufficient, and sensible sun exposure should take place when the sun is 45° from horizontal, or more. Even light haze will absorb most of the sun's UVB. If your latitude is above 35°, you won't be able to get sufficient vitamin D from sun exposure in the winter months. The highest ratio of UVB to UVA occurs between 11 and 1, but the UV index may be too high in summer.

Also take a vitamin B complex which is certified as being 100% of natural origin; the deficiency in vitamin B9 (folate, or folic acid) that most depressed people have, is known to cause depression. Around 30% - 40% of depressed people have low vitamin B12 levels.

(2.) Work up slowly to at least 20 minutes of daily exercise, or 30 - 60 mns, 5 times weekly in daytime, outside. Too much exercise can cause stress; unwanted when dealing with depression. (3.) Occupational therapy (keeping busy allows little time for unproductive introspection, and keeps mental activity out of less desirable areas of the brain). (4.) Practice a relaxation method, daily, and when needed. Perform an internet search for the terms: Progressive muscle relaxation, and meditation; use whichever works best for you. (5.) Initially, at least, some form of psychotherapy or counselling; later, perhaps either Cognitive Behavio(u)ral Therapy, or Rational Emotive Behavio(u)ral Therapy for up to 6 months. (6.) Maintain a mood chart, and daily activities schedule. (7.) As options, if desired, either a known, effective herbal remedy, such as St. John's wort, (get a German variety, if possible; local ones may vary in effectiveness. Perika, Jarsin, and Kira brands have been recommended as being effective*. Take with a meal), Supplements, such as SAMe, 5-htp, L-phenylalanine (from vitamin and health food stores, some supermarkets have old/inferior types, or mail order: Google: " ... ; supplies") may help.

If using a RECOMMENDED * brand of St. John's Wort, and if also using UP TO 50mg of 5-htp daily, in addition, (or UP TO 200mg of 5-htp if NOT using the wort. I note with interest that in the study referred to, 300 mg of 5-htp was used) take with a very low protein meal, to maximise the amount crossing the blood/brain barrier, with no, or extremely little protein 2 hrs before, to 2 hrs afterwards. I suggest beginning with 50 mg on the first day, and if no adverse reaction, keep increasing it until reaching the desired level, to let your system accustom itself to it gradually. Google maximum safe dosage.

Alternatively, use SAMe (S-adenosy-L-methionine) but nothing else. Has the advantage of working more quickly than St John's wort. Use only the butanedisulfonate form in enteric-coated tablets, or in capsules. The usual dosage is 400 to 1,600 milligrams daily, taken on an empty stomach. Take lower doses (under 800 milligrams) once a day, a half hour before the morning meal. Split higher doses, taking the second a half hour before lunch. I'd avoid medications, except as a last resort, and even then, only use temporarily, as they don't address the causes, merely (imperfectly) treat the symptoms, and carry risks, and side effects. They all have anxiolytic (anti-anxiety) effects as well as antidepressant ones.

It's estimated that up to 80% of people in the Western world have low magnesium levels; which can cause depression.

Books on depression: "Lift your mood now." by John D Preston, Psy.D., & "Feeling Good - the new mood therapy" by David D. Burns, M.D., & Self-Coaching: How to Heal Anxiety and Depression, Joseph J. Luciani Ph.D., from your bookstore, or online.

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In your case, I suggest volunteering, even from home, at first, (Google: volunteer from home; options) as a way of redirecting activity in your brain and providing a basis for improved self esteem, then possibly volunteer locally, as you improve, to help restore your social skills.

Previous relevant post/s:

ADD / ADHD: http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?34471-Inositol-help&p=226246#post226246

ANGER MANAGEMENT: http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?34787-Feeling-Skeptical-!!!-Progress-so-far!&p=227756#post227756 One of the symptoms of depression is anger without an apparent cause.

SELF ESTEEM: http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?35156-I-feel-worthless

SOCIAL ANXIETY: http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?33912-My-SA-Dealing-with-thoughts-of-judgement&p=223666#post223666

VITAMIN D: http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?34912-I-can-t-breathe-or-relax&p=228476#post228476

"Vitamin D3 Cured my Anxiety, Depression, and Panic Disorder", (by another forum member) is at http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?12695-Vitamin-D3-Cured-my-Anxiety-Depression-and-Panic-Disorder&highlight=vitamin

Note that even in South Australia around 50% of people have vitamin D levels that are depleted, or deficient, and Manchester in England is much further from the Equator, and gets far less sunlight.

View http://your-mental-health.weebly.com/b.html

Consider trying transcranial magnetic stimulation; check out https://www.google.com.au/search?client=opera&q=depression%3B+TMS%2C+Manchester%3B+UK&sourceid=opera&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8#q=transcranial+magnetic+stimulation+nhs

[Kirk]

Maybe start off volunteering somewhere as this may get your foot in the door and keep you busy.
It looks better to employers if you did something with your time.

[The Intolerable Kid]

Perhaps you should start employing some method of contraception, that might limit anxiety in the long run. Kids tend to add stress to a person's life. You're not the same person at 25 that you were at 16 because life only gets harder and less forgiving as you go along. That fact tends to wear people down over time one way or another.

[Ponder]

...Kids tend to add stress to a person's life. I tend to agree in a world like that one we now live in - it is indeed a very sad state of affairs having to raise kids.

[Kirk]

Just remember you are still young enough to turn things around. Never give up.
As Winston Churchill once said, If you're going through hell, keep going.

[Kirk]

One of the few regrets I have in my life is that I wish now we would have had more than one child.