dating a person suffering from anxiety

[english_only]

hi everyone!

I recently met a young man, 22 yrs old, and we started dating, having so much fun together. After about a week or so I discovered he is suffering from anxiety and is addicted to medication. I asked him about it, making sure the conversation was comfortable for him, and he told me about the history of his disorder - it had started 2 years ago, and he had soon after developed an addiction to his medication. He cannot sleep without it and in the evenings he becomes very agitated, sweating a lot, constantly eating nervously, trembling etc.
He is a VERY outgoing person, extremely so, very charismatic and has many friends - not many close friends though, does many activities, sports etc, but his family situation is terrible, no support from family or friends, and that's why he spends so much time outdoors, often alone.
I would really like to help him fight anxiety and these "attacks" he's experiencing in the evenings and during the night. However, I would need to learn more about the right approach, as I wouldn't want to seem to pushy, or not give enough support of the right kind.
I am very much into sports and healthy nutrition, something he appreciates too, but with the anxiety attacks has neglected. About 2 years ago I helped a friend fight a severe alcohol problem by teaching her about working out and eating properly, which helped her out immensely, so I was wondering if the same approach would work in this case too?
Also, I have the feeling he needs to be with somebody constantly, to keep him company, which I am of course willing to do, but I wouldn't want him to develop an addiction to my support and company, as I assume that wouldn't be healthy either.
Where do I draw the line? How often do I encourage him to talk about his problem? From what I understood, I am the first person in his life to show interest in his problem.
All my friends are warning me about this, saying the situation is helpless, the guy is only trouble, he'd end up committing suicide and so on, which I think is very negative, and I refuse to believe it's that bad...?
Is it easier to fight anxiety for a young person, as opposed to someone who's been experiencing problems for, say 5-10-15 years?

[Robbed]

First things first. You do not indicate what kind of medication your friend is addicted to. But, ANY anxiety medication can be VERY addictive. This includes so-called 'non-habit forming' antidepressants as well as 'habit forming' benzodiazepines. In order for your friend to break his addiction to medications, he is probably going to have to taper off the meds VERY slowly. In other words, he will have to slowly decrease the dosage over a period of weeks or months before he can get off them. As tempting as it might be for you (and possibly him), cold turkey is DEFINITELY not a good idea here.

As for helping him with anxiety, I believe the best approach is to offer friendship and support, while being as non-judgemental and non-scolding as you can possibly be. 'Tough love' is virtually NEVER a good approach when it comes to anxiety recovery (or most other things), and is most often just an excuse to be mean and/or feel 'above someone'. Try to be as encouraging as you can about his prospects of recovery. Let him know that plenty of people have done it, and he can to. Let him know that he just has to accept his symptoms as symptoms of anxiety, and that these symptoms are harmless and will go away as stress levels decrease. Also, encourage him to go out and do things. In situations like this, offer to go with him, as this will probably encourage him to do so. But try not to be overly forceful - try to make it something he WANTS to do.

Most importantly, though, be patient. Recovery may be common. But it is virtually NEVER fast. It could potentially take anywhere from a few months to several years: you have to be in it for the long haul. Also remember that you WILL find yourself telling him the same things (ie reassuring) over and over and over again. Perseverence is indeed key to recovery. So try not to get frustrated by this.

As for whether this is something to take on or not, this is up to you. It sounds like he has little in the way of true friends. You could be all he has. And you just might end up over your head in this. So keep this in mind. Also keep in mind that it would probably be devastating for him if you were to just 'jump ship'. So if you don't even want to deal with the possibility of him becoming dependent OR being in it for the long haul, it is probably better for both of you not to go there. Simply put, know what you are in for before going there.

As for whether it is easier to recover if you have suffered a short period of time vs a long period, this is true to a point. Someone who has suffered for two years will probably have an easier time recovering tha someone who has suffered for 10 years. But someone who has suffered for 10 years probably has little to no advantage over someone who has suffered for 20 years. In any case, two years is really not that long. And the fact that he hasn't been suffering for as long as he can remember is also a good sign.

Any way, good luck.

[182shaun]

hey hope things r going well!
i found the best way for me to overcome anxiety was to hit the gym n do a good run! so u 2 shud hit the gym
x