livelifesronger
08-08-2016, 03:39 PM
A brief backstory, but i used to be an average smart individual educated to degree level and traveled the world solo.... despite some background depression (losing pleasure in leisure activities, finding it hard to watch tv etc) i've always managed to keep it at bay being occupied during my education and previous jobs with no meds necessary.
My recent job however was probably one way above my station which triggered unbearable amounts of anxiety, frequent panic attacks and a depression that saw me get signed off work twice. The position was too high powered for someone of my experience and a lot of work colleagues reinforced negative beliefs about myself, but hay ho a jobs a job and i'll persevere and the anxiety might normalise? the opposite happened and finally had to take the plunge and leave.
However moving into unemployed life helped temporaily, but all my anxieties began to bleed into everyday life and functioning, worries about the future, shattered confidence, even started getting anxiety over basic decision making that all withdrew me from my friends and family which in turn pulled me into a dark hole of depression.
The Dr first prescribed me propranolol to assist with the anxiety...40mg a day eventually boosted to 80mg, i was on this for about a month before heading back to the dr who prescribed a 2 week course of 50mg sertraline and reassured me of its safety and the need to persevere and this is where the nightmare begins.
Day 1 of sertraline, noticed wide dilated pupils, sweating, muscle twitching, irritability
Day 2 of sertraline. things went crazy, my mood shot up and straight down rapidly in quick succession, sheer disorientation, paranoia. I woke up with all my senses knocked out and a strong 'exhaust' like fume smell in my nose. i was convinced it was the smell of death and something compulsed me to leave the house and find a way to end my life. i was convinved this was the only way. discovering the last thread of rationaility i pulled myself into hospital. sitting in a room with an emergency therapist my ups and downs continued until i could only nod and answer basic questions! it felt like a dream world and that it wasnt really happening.
once on a more stable level i was taken home by relatives and trying to readjust to the home environment. it was then i realised i had not taken the propralonol for a few days which i continued, with my weaning off slowly.
Since this event i have been experiencing some very scary freightening symptoms that my new mental health dr cant really understand. I've lost all of my senses apart from my smell, ears are dull and vision is a bit blurred, no taste, i cant really 'feel' anything apart from if its hot or cold and the pressure it exerts. I now find myself locked down low in a very serious depression with compulsive irrational thoughts of suicice popping into my head. my body feels week without energy and trying to concentrate on even the simplist tasks is near impossible. I feel like a zombie of a human being, only being able to respond to people with basic replys, not being able to truely concentrate on what they are saying and being noticeably forgetful
It looks like i've had a very serious reaction to two sets of drugs, is anybody got any advice on what may have happened and how to get back to where i was? my mental health dr is playing the waiting game and just hoping things will get back to normal once the drugs are out of my system but ive not felt any better even after a week of the episode. every moment of every day is excrutiating and i dont feel the dr's are understanding the full weight of whats happening. if anyone can shed light on what happened maybe i can learn better as to how manage this for the sake of myself and the family around me! thank you so much!
My recent job however was probably one way above my station which triggered unbearable amounts of anxiety, frequent panic attacks and a depression that saw me get signed off work twice. The position was too high powered for someone of my experience and a lot of work colleagues reinforced negative beliefs about myself, but hay ho a jobs a job and i'll persevere and the anxiety might normalise? the opposite happened and finally had to take the plunge and leave.
However moving into unemployed life helped temporaily, but all my anxieties began to bleed into everyday life and functioning, worries about the future, shattered confidence, even started getting anxiety over basic decision making that all withdrew me from my friends and family which in turn pulled me into a dark hole of depression.
The Dr first prescribed me propranolol to assist with the anxiety...40mg a day eventually boosted to 80mg, i was on this for about a month before heading back to the dr who prescribed a 2 week course of 50mg sertraline and reassured me of its safety and the need to persevere and this is where the nightmare begins.
Day 1 of sertraline, noticed wide dilated pupils, sweating, muscle twitching, irritability
Day 2 of sertraline. things went crazy, my mood shot up and straight down rapidly in quick succession, sheer disorientation, paranoia. I woke up with all my senses knocked out and a strong 'exhaust' like fume smell in my nose. i was convinced it was the smell of death and something compulsed me to leave the house and find a way to end my life. i was convinved this was the only way. discovering the last thread of rationaility i pulled myself into hospital. sitting in a room with an emergency therapist my ups and downs continued until i could only nod and answer basic questions! it felt like a dream world and that it wasnt really happening.
once on a more stable level i was taken home by relatives and trying to readjust to the home environment. it was then i realised i had not taken the propralonol for a few days which i continued, with my weaning off slowly.
Since this event i have been experiencing some very scary freightening symptoms that my new mental health dr cant really understand. I've lost all of my senses apart from my smell, ears are dull and vision is a bit blurred, no taste, i cant really 'feel' anything apart from if its hot or cold and the pressure it exerts. I now find myself locked down low in a very serious depression with compulsive irrational thoughts of suicice popping into my head. my body feels week without energy and trying to concentrate on even the simplist tasks is near impossible. I feel like a zombie of a human being, only being able to respond to people with basic replys, not being able to truely concentrate on what they are saying and being noticeably forgetful
It looks like i've had a very serious reaction to two sets of drugs, is anybody got any advice on what may have happened and how to get back to where i was? my mental health dr is playing the waiting game and just hoping things will get back to normal once the drugs are out of my system but ive not felt any better even after a week of the episode. every moment of every day is excrutiating and i dont feel the dr's are understanding the full weight of whats happening. if anyone can shed light on what happened maybe i can learn better as to how manage this for the sake of myself and the family around me! thank you so much!