raggamuffin
08-01-2016, 03:45 PM
I wrote this the other evening and thought I'd share my experiences. This is coming from someone who's had anxiety for over 8 years now. 6 of those in the beginning were frought with 24/7 symptoms. In the past 18-24 months I've seen huge improvements. I got a new job, moved home, made new friends, discovered meditation, healthy eating and rekindled my passion for art.
So here goes, my two cents on how and why anxiety is a friend and not a foe:
"Anxiety is actually a friend, what an odd statement to make. Over the years I've spoken with many people about their journey with anxiety. The more open I've been with my story the more people have opened up to me to share their own experiences with anxiety and depression. What we project to the world is reflected back to us, an important statement to remember in life.
The more people I spoke to, the more similarities I began to see with those who live with anxiety on a daily basis. Many I've spoken to over the years had their anxiety disorder start with a panic attack. For many it was during a traumatic event in their lives and from that first sudden attack of panic, fear unlike anything ever felt before and an overwhelming sense of impending doom they descended descended into an exhausting daily routine of worry, fear and mental and bodily turmoil.
Many of these people were similar to myself, creative people. The imagination is a wonderful asset to each and every one of us. It enables us to draw, paint, sculpt, write music, think up stories and jokes, cook and all manner of other endeavours. But on the flipside, our creativity and imagination can work against us.
"What if..."
How many times have you asked yourself a "what if" question. How many times has that one simple, yet often unanswerable question sent you down a rabbit hole of question after question until you become so self absorbed that you lose sense of yourself and the anxiety begins to rapidly build and build to a point where you feel physically sick, or as if someone has wrapped a belt around your chest and is pulling it tightly against you.
With one event our lives can feel like they've changed forever. A panic attack and anxiety disorder can rob us of our sense of self. Imagine, in an instant you no longer feel safe in your own body. That is a rather terrifying and dehumanising experience to have. It hits home hard and soon we begin descending into a self absorbed bubble of paranoia and fear as people around us and indeed reality itself becomes ever more distant.
When life seems to be turned on its head we tend to look back to times before panic attacks and the physical symptoms with longing nostalgia. We wish to get back to the "good old days."
What we fail to realise is that anxiety disorders take years of poor stress management and emotional processing before they erupt and affect our body physically. Those good old days were actually the foundation for the anxiety disorder and were anything but good for our mind.
Anxiety is a friend because it's an instigator of change. A rude awakening as it were. If the mind is consistently stressed and struggling, the body will soon follow and become a stressed, aching mess.
Whilst symptoms can be painful and terrifying (I had 6+ years of 24/7 symptoms) it is there to tell you that you need to change - for the better. Whilst we often feel jeopardised and fragile when anxiety hits us, in reality it's trying to make us stronger. I spent years convinced the aches and pains were disease and death was waiting around every corner. I felt feeble, angry at myself, and resentful that it had to happen to me.
The more I began to reflect on the past and my life as a whole I realised that I really was not happy before I started having panic attacks and began that 6 year journey of aches and pains. I used drugs to try and eradicate boredom, I dated people back to back to avoid spending too much time alone and I flunked college and uni because I felt like I had no idea where I was going in life or what I'd ever amount to.
It's no wonder anxiety comes along when things are at their worst. Initially we will assume it's kicking us whilst we're down. It's no lie to admit that struggling with the day to day of life whilst aching and constantly fretting when you'll freak out next makes life that much harder.
But again It's showing us we're not happy where we are in life. Our anxiety is our own. Without us our anxiety doesn't exist. But remember that life is a mirror. It reflects back at us what we put out into the world. For years when I felt like death each day I saw the world and the people in it as scary, unsympathetic and increasingly frustrating. But that was because in myself I still assumed the pains caused by anxiety was disease. That I was genuinely sick and the confusion of it all brought about a lot of negative emotions.
When facing the uncertainty and fear anxiety brings about, many say we should accept anxiety and it's symptoms. Acceptance can certainly take the sting out of the tail. But we should also realise it's not a foreign invader to be ignored or bargained with. Simply saying my chest hurts because of anxiety and not a heart issue won't make the pain stop.
I never thought I'd get better, yet for all those years I endured I can safely say the past few years I've suffered with symptoms less. That's not to say I don't get symptoms daily. But they're less intense and don't last nearly as long as they used to.
I knew the road with anxiety would be a long one. But it's not a road to recovery as anxiety isn't ever really going anywhere. We all get anxiety from time to time.
When I envision anxiety now as I'm walking along the road of life. I view it as someone approaching me at night. Initially there is that fear of the unknown. "Who is this person?" "Am I in danger?" "Can I escape?" But when this stranger walks past me they simply meet my gaze and smile at me.
So don't give into anxiety. Don't assume it's ruined your life or made you weaker. Don't barter with it through acceptance or hide from it with substances or prescription drugs.
Deep down we know whether or not we are truly happy. And, often instinctively we know what changes, however big or small we need to make to get where we want to be in life.
Above all, allow yourself to feel. Do not assume a bodily sensation is anxiety, or disease. Allow yourself to feel whatever comes your way. Whether internally or externally. There's no shame in feeling anxious, angry, upset, or indeed happy. Anxiety is empowered by negative emotions because it's these negative emotions our mind and body wishes to move away from, to evolve beyond.
You are supposed to feel good - that's what feelings are for. Don't hide from the bad emotions or try to shun them. They are just as valid as the positive emotions. But they are not the foundations that our life should be built on, and they are not the constructive emotions we should continue to build our lives with."
Ed
So here goes, my two cents on how and why anxiety is a friend and not a foe:
"Anxiety is actually a friend, what an odd statement to make. Over the years I've spoken with many people about their journey with anxiety. The more open I've been with my story the more people have opened up to me to share their own experiences with anxiety and depression. What we project to the world is reflected back to us, an important statement to remember in life.
The more people I spoke to, the more similarities I began to see with those who live with anxiety on a daily basis. Many I've spoken to over the years had their anxiety disorder start with a panic attack. For many it was during a traumatic event in their lives and from that first sudden attack of panic, fear unlike anything ever felt before and an overwhelming sense of impending doom they descended descended into an exhausting daily routine of worry, fear and mental and bodily turmoil.
Many of these people were similar to myself, creative people. The imagination is a wonderful asset to each and every one of us. It enables us to draw, paint, sculpt, write music, think up stories and jokes, cook and all manner of other endeavours. But on the flipside, our creativity and imagination can work against us.
"What if..."
How many times have you asked yourself a "what if" question. How many times has that one simple, yet often unanswerable question sent you down a rabbit hole of question after question until you become so self absorbed that you lose sense of yourself and the anxiety begins to rapidly build and build to a point where you feel physically sick, or as if someone has wrapped a belt around your chest and is pulling it tightly against you.
With one event our lives can feel like they've changed forever. A panic attack and anxiety disorder can rob us of our sense of self. Imagine, in an instant you no longer feel safe in your own body. That is a rather terrifying and dehumanising experience to have. It hits home hard and soon we begin descending into a self absorbed bubble of paranoia and fear as people around us and indeed reality itself becomes ever more distant.
When life seems to be turned on its head we tend to look back to times before panic attacks and the physical symptoms with longing nostalgia. We wish to get back to the "good old days."
What we fail to realise is that anxiety disorders take years of poor stress management and emotional processing before they erupt and affect our body physically. Those good old days were actually the foundation for the anxiety disorder and were anything but good for our mind.
Anxiety is a friend because it's an instigator of change. A rude awakening as it were. If the mind is consistently stressed and struggling, the body will soon follow and become a stressed, aching mess.
Whilst symptoms can be painful and terrifying (I had 6+ years of 24/7 symptoms) it is there to tell you that you need to change - for the better. Whilst we often feel jeopardised and fragile when anxiety hits us, in reality it's trying to make us stronger. I spent years convinced the aches and pains were disease and death was waiting around every corner. I felt feeble, angry at myself, and resentful that it had to happen to me.
The more I began to reflect on the past and my life as a whole I realised that I really was not happy before I started having panic attacks and began that 6 year journey of aches and pains. I used drugs to try and eradicate boredom, I dated people back to back to avoid spending too much time alone and I flunked college and uni because I felt like I had no idea where I was going in life or what I'd ever amount to.
It's no wonder anxiety comes along when things are at their worst. Initially we will assume it's kicking us whilst we're down. It's no lie to admit that struggling with the day to day of life whilst aching and constantly fretting when you'll freak out next makes life that much harder.
But again It's showing us we're not happy where we are in life. Our anxiety is our own. Without us our anxiety doesn't exist. But remember that life is a mirror. It reflects back at us what we put out into the world. For years when I felt like death each day I saw the world and the people in it as scary, unsympathetic and increasingly frustrating. But that was because in myself I still assumed the pains caused by anxiety was disease. That I was genuinely sick and the confusion of it all brought about a lot of negative emotions.
When facing the uncertainty and fear anxiety brings about, many say we should accept anxiety and it's symptoms. Acceptance can certainly take the sting out of the tail. But we should also realise it's not a foreign invader to be ignored or bargained with. Simply saying my chest hurts because of anxiety and not a heart issue won't make the pain stop.
I never thought I'd get better, yet for all those years I endured I can safely say the past few years I've suffered with symptoms less. That's not to say I don't get symptoms daily. But they're less intense and don't last nearly as long as they used to.
I knew the road with anxiety would be a long one. But it's not a road to recovery as anxiety isn't ever really going anywhere. We all get anxiety from time to time.
When I envision anxiety now as I'm walking along the road of life. I view it as someone approaching me at night. Initially there is that fear of the unknown. "Who is this person?" "Am I in danger?" "Can I escape?" But when this stranger walks past me they simply meet my gaze and smile at me.
So don't give into anxiety. Don't assume it's ruined your life or made you weaker. Don't barter with it through acceptance or hide from it with substances or prescription drugs.
Deep down we know whether or not we are truly happy. And, often instinctively we know what changes, however big or small we need to make to get where we want to be in life.
Above all, allow yourself to feel. Do not assume a bodily sensation is anxiety, or disease. Allow yourself to feel whatever comes your way. Whether internally or externally. There's no shame in feeling anxious, angry, upset, or indeed happy. Anxiety is empowered by negative emotions because it's these negative emotions our mind and body wishes to move away from, to evolve beyond.
You are supposed to feel good - that's what feelings are for. Don't hide from the bad emotions or try to shun them. They are just as valid as the positive emotions. But they are not the foundations that our life should be built on, and they are not the constructive emotions we should continue to build our lives with."
Ed