Need Help

[Pirateking]

I don't know where else to go without going to a hospital. I've always had issues with depression and anxiety. It is tough to deal with, but I have a grasp of what it is at least. I've been taking 10MG of Lexapro and 1-1.5 MG of Klonopin to treat it. My psych doctor died in January and I started with a new doctor that upped my Lexapro to 20MG and put me on Buspar for anxiety.

She then decided to take me off the Klonpin. She had me go from 1-1.5 to only .5 a day a month ago and then cut me off. My anxity was already starting to increase that month, and a few days after I stopped the klonopin I faced massive panic attacks among a ton of other issues. It took some begging for help until she eventually put me on .5MG of Atavan but I don't think it is working.

My current symptoms are this horrible brain fog that is impairing my basic functions. I forget things easily, I can't concentrate. It feels like I've literally got dumber. I am clumsier. I keep almost walking into poles and today I almost got run over by a bus. I'm beyond irritable. I almost attacked a man on an elevator because of his breathing, and I've never had such violent thoughts before. I've had brief sucidical thoughts that I had to talk myself out of because I rationally know I don't want to do that.

When I stretch my neck it hurts. It feels like my neck or back is violently ripping in two. I'm having out of body experinces. I am sitting at work and suddenly I am not sure if I am dreaming or not

I also have headaches, I'm pacing constantly. I am having muscle spasims, twitching, my hands tremble. I occasionly see double.

This is terrifying. I've never felt like this in my entire life and I don't know what is going on. Is it the Buspar? The Atavan? The lack of Klonopin and should I go to the hosptial? My doctor isn't around on the weekends. Any help will be appericated.

[Ponder]

Have you tried anything other than chemicals? What other efforts have you made to overcome your challenges? Obviously the medication does not work for you. The hospital will treat you as psychosomatic and probably just give you more chemicals. How long have you been subjecting yourself to medication? You'll find plenty of people in here that can recommend a few different colors, but I've come to learn you can not treat a condition that is more resultant from lifestyle related problems with chemical solutions.

Give the doctors a miss as they obviously are not able to help you ... other than change your meds and or up the dose ... still you continue to walk into buses. Your story only confirms my observations and that I've read of others. If you live through this, then I guess you'll come close to working it out.

In the mean time ... keep posting.

Welcome to the forum ... your going to get many different views. I am sure you'll find one you'll like. I suggest taking the hard route. The easy way only leads back to the middle of the road. Beep BEEP!

[Kirk]

Welcome to the forum. I would try some alternative therapies, such as accupuncture, meditation, biofeedback,
deep breathing exercises, listening to music, exercise, etc. You could also talk to a natural physician or pharmacist
who may give some suggestions on what herbs, etc. to take that may help you.

[Anne1221]

I, personally run to the hospital for everything. I always feel so much better after I have a doctor straighten things out and reassure me. But I can understand if you don't want to do that. I do think your doctor cut you off the Klonopin too fast. I had a nightmare earlier this year cutting back on my benzo. It was a very rough 3 weeks for sure! I was bumping into walls too.

[tara6720]

Hi Pirateking,
Hope you are getting on okay? Sorry to hear you are experiencing those symptoms. I know I suffered bad symptoms when I first gave up lexapro. I can relate to the brain fog part and I used to feel i get was getting little shocks through my brain. I noticed everything seemed to frustrate me and I was very emotional. I have found a drug that works okay for me now. A change in brain chemistry can effect our bodies so much! I guess sometimes stopping one drug and starting new ones can affect us until we become used to It and everyone is different. Those side effects seem bad. Maybe out of hours doctor/hospital might know what is causing the side effects and be able to help. It sounds like the effects are severe and you are suffering and they might be able to change your meds until you find something that suits again. Have you tried other things that might help along with the drugs? like counselling, meditation or even starting a new hobby. Its good that you are recognising the thoughts/feelings you are experiencing. I find reminding myself that negative thought/emotions are only temporary helps. Hope you feel better from those side effects soon.

[gypsylee]

Hey and welcome,

I hear you. I haven't actually been on Klonopin but I've been on a LOT of meds (currently Prozac and Mogadon). So I'm not sure how strong or fast-acting Klonopin is and how it compares with Ativan. But it sounds like all this started when you had to change doctors and the new one took you off the Klonopin. A month off benzos and the physical effects should be gone. But the psychological effects of these things can be extremely powerful and I don't think doctors understand this very well to be honest.

I've been where you are a lot of times - wondering whether or not to call a damn ambulance because my panic is so bad I can't even think about driving. I've compulsively driven to the bottle shop to buy alcohol.. Anything to ease the panic.

I think the (non-chemical) things that help the most are talking about it to someone and deep breathing. You've made a good start here by posting.. Admitting you need help is one of the hardest things.

Take it easy..
Gypsy x

[gypsylee]

Hey and welcome,

I hear you. I haven't actually been on Klonopin but I've been on a LOT of meds (currently Prozac and Mogadon). So I'm not sure how strong or fast-acting Klonopin is and how it compares with Ativan. But it sounds like all this started when you had to change doctors and the new one took you off the Klonopin. A month off benzos and the physical effects should be gone. But the psychological effects of these things can be extremely powerful and I don't think doctors understand this very well to be honest.

I've been where you are a lot of times - wondering whether or not to call a damn ambulance because my panic is so bad I can't even think about driving. I've compulsively driven to the bottle shop to buy alcohol.. Anything to ease the panic.

I think the (non-chemical) things that help the most are talking about it to someone and deep breathing. You've made a good start here by posting.. Admitting you need help is one of the hardest things.

Take it easy..
Gypsy x