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View Full Version : Can't keep a job due to anxiety/depression



Scott Fuston
07-10-2016, 10:30 AM
Hello Everyone,

My name is Scott, I am 38 years old and I just came across this forum when I was (as always) looking for a solution to my lifelong struggle with anxiety. So, I thought I'd check it out and see what happens. This is the first time I have ever brought my issue to a forum.

I have what I THINK is anxiety. I have been dealing with this issue since I was about 12 years old. I started out having issues wanting to go to school. I would feel so overwhelmed at the thought that I'd just skip school as often as I could get away with it. I managed to make it through my Junior year in high school and ended up getting a GED. I since went to a tech school, and online school for computers.

As an adult this continued to be a problem for me. Only this time it was an issue going to work instead of school. It didn't start out too severe, Just dreaded the day ahead, felt tired and all that which I think is fairly normal for most people. I'd have a very bad day from time to time in my early adult life, and call off work. These mornings I just felt anxiety about going to work, felt tired and just wanted to "live a little" on my terms from time to time. If I recall correctly, I called in probably about once a month on average. Obviously this becomes a problem for employers, and a problem foe me too eventually. I have lost alot of jobs over the years and continue to do so still to this day. The last 10 years have been the worst. I have these days more often and I have NEVER held a job more than 1 year.

For the last 6 years I have had full custody of my daughter, who is now 13 years old. Even trying to use her as motivation to go to work everyday is not powerful enough when I get that mindset that I can't go to work today. This problem is more severe than ever. I had the idea a while back that I'd file for disability. Since I am "working" I cannot get it. The problem is that I have to work, we have no family or friends to live with. So i constantly get a job, lose or quit it, then go into panic mode about rent and a home, so I scramble and get another job for a few months and get caught up and back on track with bills and then I repeat the process. Sometimes its so bad that i get a new job and and the it comes time to start and that morning I have such bad anxiety I don't even go. This sometimes goes on through 2-3 jobs before I finally start one.

My feelings in the mornings that prevent me from working:

I feel a deep despair in mornings. I feel like it's not acceptable to waste the majority of my life at "work"! I only get a few hours of my own life each evening? That's a terribly depression thought for me. But, the emotion I have feels so overwhelming and dark that I have a very hard time explaining it, even to myself. I cannot think of a place or circumstance that would come close to explaining how bad this despair and hopelessness feels to me in the mornings. However..... the second I call in It's gone! That fast, it's just gone and I feel so good! At least for time being, so I enjoy the moment, because for the moment I am fine and free do with my time what I choose.

I was diagnosed as a teenager with chronic anxiety disorder, been on a few antidepressants over the years, nothing helps at all. So, I Stopped trying medications years ago. Currently I can't seek any medical help because I can't keep a job long enough to have insurance, or afford any medications or treatments.

My latest thought on trying to fix this issue (test #1,000,000,000,000,000) is that maybe having a support system and people to talk to might help. As you can imagine, being unable to keep a job in today's society is something that is disgraceful. So, I feel so ashamed that I literally cannot talk to anyone about this issue except one friend that almost never see. This is why I have stayed single for the last 6 years and have isolated myself from people's judgements almost 100%.

Sorry for such a long introduction. Just wanted to explain my issue in a nutshell. I could literally write for hours about the last 20 years of this. Look forward to getting to know all of you.

Thank you

gypsylee
07-10-2016, 10:18 PM
Hi Scott and welcome :)

Well to me you sound like a sane individual. It's people who don't have a problem working like slaves that seem strange and I can totally relate to what you've written here. As for being "disgraceful in today's society" - I could write an essay on today's society being disgraceful itself.

Cheers,
Gypsy x

A.Shanks
07-10-2016, 11:47 PM
I relate to a lot of the things you say. I don't know if anxiety gets better or goes away. But I do know that I can work to control my actions and my actions. What I have found recently is that choice is bad for me. and the higher my anxiety the more I need to limit my choices. A silly example is breakfast. I know I need to eat it, but if I have choices, cereal, a bagel, toast, pancakes, etc. then I freeze up I am dissatisfied and I in the end opt out. I have decided I will eat the same cereal every day and have for 6 months. It kinda sucks, but I am accomplishing a basic goal that enables me to move on with my day. I try to limit my choices and narrow my sight as much as possible. There are things in your life that you feel you do not have a choice about, notice that you are able to do those things. What I am trying to do now is take the area's that are to complicated, getting to work in the morning, and removing choice. I have to go to work in the morning, I am convinced I am going to die, but I also know I will wake up get dressed and make it to work, because I do not have a choice.

azaleigha
07-11-2016, 01:29 PM
Hi Scott! I'm sorry for what you're going through - it is tough to function as society expects when you're just not able to keep up appearances that way. You're certainly not alone, though, and I think it's great you're coming here for some support. Have you ever looked into local support groups or anything like that? I know you said you can't really afford medical treatment, etc, but maybe there's someone, like a counselor, in your area willing to work with you as far as cost goes. You mentioned not being able to talk to anyone in your life about what you're going through - is it because you think they wouldn't understand the issues keeping you from holding down steady employment? Sometimes those we're close to can really surprise us in a good way when we can open up and be honest. But in any case, I'm glad at least that you've found this forum, and I pray it'll be really helpful for you! I'm new here too but it seems like a good place. Best of luck to you in everything. :)

Ponder
07-11-2016, 03:43 PM
Hello and welcome to the forum Scott.

Redefine the term work and you may find that you contribute more than you know. I think gypslee summed it up well.

Glad you found us.
~Dave.

Kirk
07-11-2016, 08:38 PM
I think you are correct that a support system will help you .

gypsylee
07-12-2016, 04:28 AM
Hello and welcome to the forum Scott.

Redefine the term work and you may find that you contribute more than you know. I think gypslee summed it up well.

Glad you found us.
~Dave.

Thanks Dave :)

Anne1221
07-13-2016, 01:53 PM
Well, you do have depression issues. Other people (without depression problems) wake up in the mornings and think the exact same things you do. Why the heck do I have to spend so much of my life at work? But the difference is they don't get deeply down and despairing about it. That's what happened to me every time I had a job I didn't like. The depression would overwhelm me in the mornings. The people without depression focus on their evenings and week-ends and what they are going to do in their off time.
Of course, some lucky people really enjoy their job. But I would guess that many people with mundane jobs hate going in to work. They just stay focused on their goals (it pays the bills, it's better than not having money, etc).