missdeelightful
07-03-2016, 09:13 AM
This is going to be a lot of thinking out loud, so please excuse the jumble.
Is anyone else overly aware of the state of their health?
I have my moments of assuming I'm in poor health or unknowingly terminally ill but this feels different from that.
It's like.. if I don't stay on the exact same eating pattern, I can almost feel my body begin to get upset.
If I go without activity, even for a short enough amount of time that it wouldn't realistically make a difference, I can feel my body yelling at me.
I don't know if this is real and I'm overly aware in a way that I can use to continually better myself, or if it will slowly tear me apart.
Equally, I keep coming back to the conclusion that I have some sort of undiagnosed terminal illness that it slowly deteriorating my body and when I deviate from my healthy lifestyle, if only for a moment, my body tells me to stop.
I've had my blood tested more times than I can count for diabetes, thyroid (even though it runs in my family, I've never been diagnosed), hormone imbalance, HIV and have routinely brought up "maybe I have cancer somewhere in my body" to my doctor. All of this has come back negative, which is great, but it leaves me feeling absolutely insane as I continue to have feelings of being unwell.
Additionally, any slight ache or pain I feel is automatically assumed to be something terrible - a tumor, a degenerative disease etc. I just wish I was less aware of every little thing going on in my body so I could walk around in blissful ignorance like everyone else.
Is anyone else overly aware of the state of their health?
I have my moments of assuming I'm in poor health or unknowingly terminally ill but this feels different from that.
It's like.. if I don't stay on the exact same eating pattern, I can almost feel my body begin to get upset.
If I go without activity, even for a short enough amount of time that it wouldn't realistically make a difference, I can feel my body yelling at me.
I don't know if this is real and I'm overly aware in a way that I can use to continually better myself, or if it will slowly tear me apart.
Equally, I keep coming back to the conclusion that I have some sort of undiagnosed terminal illness that it slowly deteriorating my body and when I deviate from my healthy lifestyle, if only for a moment, my body tells me to stop.
I've had my blood tested more times than I can count for diabetes, thyroid (even though it runs in my family, I've never been diagnosed), hormone imbalance, HIV and have routinely brought up "maybe I have cancer somewhere in my body" to my doctor. All of this has come back negative, which is great, but it leaves me feeling absolutely insane as I continue to have feelings of being unwell.
Additionally, any slight ache or pain I feel is automatically assumed to be something terrible - a tumor, a degenerative disease etc. I just wish I was less aware of every little thing going on in my body so I could walk around in blissful ignorance like everyone else.