Am I Depressed or just Anxious?

[Enerux]

Hello,

I feel overwhelmed the last weeks since I still cant figure what I have. One day suddenly I felt my arms numb and I got a panic attack. I went to doctor who reasured me that I am healthy. The next day as i was studying the same thing happened but this time I knew I was healthy so I thought I am going crazy. For the next days I had total lack of concentration I had no energy to do anything and after 4 days I got a breakdown , where I cried because I thought I would never get better. Since then for the last 4 weeks I am almost always with a tension headache , my depersonalization comes and goes but still getting better , and my mood is on a rollercoaster. I ruminate a lot about what I have , I search every day on the internet symptoms and I already thought I have every mental illness out there. As for my mood there are days that I am almost ok and there are moments that I feel depressed but realy badly . Also I have thought of sucide ,but I dont want to do something like that. I pretty much feel like what I have is going to make me crazy and so sad one day that I will do it against my will , or my brain will talk myselfe into doing it. Also I don't know how I feel φor people and my interests anymore. When I am with my friends or I do something I like , i mostly enjoy it , but when I am thinking about doing something or hanging out with them I feel like I have no interest . My head is a mess atm and I feel like i will might never be ok again .

Thank you for your insight beforehand.
Also I am not native English speaker so excuse me for any mistakes.

[Anne1221]

The two go hand in hand and it sounds like you have both. I think my problem is mostly anxiety, but being so anxious can also lead to depression. I think you may have depression more than the anxiety but that's just what I'm getting from this post.

[brooklyn3383]

Hi Enerux, welcome to the forum. I am going through the same thing. I am new here as well. I hope you find some kind of comfort in this forum like I have when I felt like I had no where else to turn to. You will find many people going through the same things. Maybe some worse than others. My anxiety was severely triggered about 3 weeks ago. I had no clue what it was. Like most people's symptoms in here, I thought I was gonna have a stroke or heart attack! I cried because I was afraid, alone and knowing I have no job due to my agoraphobia and no insurance to top it off.. I was in a whirlwind of "what if's?" It suddenly turned into depression. Crying, shivering, not wanting to do anything, no energy, moody. When I found this forum I was just browsing, lurking. I found a nice little community looking out for one another, sharing their stories & suggestions. We aren't all Dr's or anything, but it was great knowing others were having the same symptoms. I am not alone... I realized how it all came crashing down on me out of no where. From Moving anxiety to separation anxiety along with an unhealthy lifestyle.... I was having aches and pains from being tensed up! I read up on how magnesium deficiency will mess with your nervous system, possibly triggering panic/anxiety attacks, but not only that, so can your lifestyle. Do you drink coffee? Sodas? Do you eat healthy and exercise? Were you under any kind of stress when yours first happened? I ask because I was drinking loads of caffeine in coffee, soda and tea form! I didnt eat healthy and only ate once a day and i over ate! Fast food, junk food, candy, carbs. It was all very bad, and a 4 hr a night sleep schedule to top it off! No exercise whatsoever. I lost my appetite and it was very hard to stomach anything. I felt hungry, but nothing seemed good! It was nauseating to even think about food! 3 weeks and I'm still not the same. It took years of messing myself up, it's gonna take time to feel better again. I started walking everyday for about 30-40 mins. I make sure to get some sunshine too! I'm eating a lot better. My appetite is still a little weird, but it's coming back little by little. I can't watch the news. I used to watch the news everyday almost all day! I'm just trying to stay active and positive and do better for myself. I also started taking magnesium supplements! I stopped getting the shakes and adrenaline rushes. I do get waves of anxiety that come and go. Hate those, but so glad I do not feel the way I did 3 weeks ago. That was scary. I hope you push through and don't give up. I'm here to talk if you need anyone to listen.

[Enerux]

*I do drink coffee , 1-2 cups per day.
*I have periods where I eat healthy and I eat a lot of junk food.
*I excercise almost every day
*I only had 2 panics attacks in those 5 weeks , and I was sleeping 6-7 hours per day and trying all different biohacks on my self( Intermittent fast , had energy supplements for 7 days before panick attack) and the day before panic attack I was feel really happy and euphoric. Then suddenly I started having what I found later was depersonalization and started to panic. Since that day I went to doctors and one told me I might have a mild depression and anxiety. Since then I have periods where I feel I am ok and everything will soon work out fight and then I have days where I feel rly bad and I cant stop being anxious and helpless about anything.
*The last 2 days I even have errectile dissfunction and I feel like I lost interest in my girlfriend even thought I think her all the time and I want to talk with her all the time( The last 2 days I can't cause I feel like there is nothing to talk about
*Also throught 2016 I had some clear goals that I kept working on 1 was doing well in my exams wich I faild comepletly because of my condition( It started 1 week before the exams) and to lose weight wich I am doing ok. For some reasons the last 2 days I can't relate so much with those goals. I still try to achieve them but I am not motivated to do so.
*The biggest suffering in my condition is that I get affraid that this apthy and lack of mtivation and concentration will keep forever and this was the only reasons I was cried the last month. Also eventhought I went through those cycles of hopelessness and hope already 4-5 times in those weeks I still can't stop feel like that when that happens, even thought I know that it's not permanent.

[Enerux]

The two go hand in hand and it sounds like you have both. I think my problem is mostly anxiety, but being so anxious can also lead to depression. I think you may have depression more than the anxiety but that's just what I'm getting from this post.

The thing that I am most afraid of this condition is my sex drive and the fact that some days I feel almost nothing about anyone, like there is some kind of jam on my emotions. I still have urge to talk with my gf or do things I like but I enjoy those things only when I do them(when I think about doing it I just dont care) and that made me fear that when she comes back in 1 month I will be totally distant and with no sex drive and that I will upset her because of that , this is probably my biggest fear actually, that I will lose interest on her and I might end something that is geat.

Could you please tell how it is for you?

[Anne1221]

I am anxious a lot and worry a lot. It sounds a lot like you have anxiety too. You are already worried about what will happen when she comes back. I don't know what to tell you what to do about it though.