Loneliness

[Sunset]

Hi everyone. I'm new here. :)

I'm lonely. I don't have friends, never had a boyfriend (23 year old virgin here), I live with my mom and barely leave the house. I can't function socially. Anxiety and awkwardness suck so much. They prevent me from living. The sad thing is, even if the anxiety went away I'd still be lonely because I am so awkward and boring.
I feel incredibly lonely and sad about not being able to form connections with other people.

Can anyone relate?

[Nowuccas]

Hey Sunset,

A previous post follows:

Join mutual interest groups, clubs, associations, sports, gym, & take up classes in yoga, T'ai Chi, Pilates, art, self defence, aerobics, creative writing, or ceramics, etc. Consider volunteering, even from home, at first, as a means of changing your focus from your feelings of loneliness, and will help stop useless introspection. Approach people with sensible questions, and find out what they're like; what mutual interests you may share.

On volunteering outside the home, you will come into contact with supportive people, and receive positive feedback for your efforts, which will be obviously appreciated, and it will give added purpose to your life, as well as helping others. It can also be an indication of the presence of depression, or dysthymia, and there are quizzes for this via http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au and effective treatments are shown at http://your-mental-health.weebly.com/3.html and page B. Check out: http://www.webofloneliness.com & http://dailystrength.org Overcoming Loneliness is a 21 mns download available from http://www.meditainment.com/search/

Read: Leaving Loneliness: A Workbook: Building Relationships with Yourself and Others by David S. Narang Ph.D., & The Loneliness Cure: How To Stop Being Alone and Connect With Others by Mark Williams, Loneliness, social isolation and human contact, & 9. True Belonging: Mindful Practices to Help You Overcome Loneliness, Connect with Others, and Cultivate Happiness... by Jeffrey Brantley MD DFAPA and Wendy Millstine, & How to Fight Depression and Loneliness Without Outside Help, from your bookstore, Amazon.com or BarnesAndNoble.com

Check out: http://www.wikihow.com/Special:LSearch?search=loneliness such as: How to Deal With Loneliness: 15 Steps, & How to Stop Feeling Lonely: 17 Steps.

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Google: "conversation topics; list" https://www.google.com.au/search?client=opera&q=conversation+topics%3B+list&sourceid=opera&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8

List of Conversation Topics | Conversation starters
www.schoolofsocialskills.com/list-of-conversation-topics.html
List of Conversation Topics! Get the list of great conversation topics perfect for first date or just regular conversation with a woman.
101 Conversation Starters - Conversation Starters.com
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The best collection of conversation starters: What is your favorite food? What do you like to do to relax? If you could have any super power, what would it be...
15 Conversation Starters That Don't Suck - Huffington Post
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Apr 28, 2014 - With our conversational solutions, you'll become the spider, and your fellow conversationalists mere pawns in a chess game that somehow ...
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More than 250 conversation starters for your enjoyment! A list of great random conversation starters as well as questions organized into topics!
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type questions, and they are excellent conversation builders. 1. ..... new people, I'll have a mental list going on which ones to try out and which ones do well.
Conversation Questions for the ESL/EFL Cla

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Read newspapers, and YOUR YAHOO: Reuters: ODDLY ENOUGH, and make written notes, and memorise a few; have more on scraps of paper, and read in the rest room. For example: "What do you think about the cat that regularly gets on a bus by itself, and gets off at the next stop?" Or "Desmond Morris, who wrote the bestseller: 'The naked ape' tells in 'Watching' the story of Chumley, the tame chimpanzee, who was brought up as a human, later being accepted at London Zoo, where he escaped, and got on a bus, and sat in a seat next to a woman, who freaked! He got out, but they eventually cornered him, and shot him dead!" Also, movies, music, and other live shows around, or coming. Embarrassing moments, eccentric relatives, lucky, and bad experiences, dates gone wrong, good places to go, their and your future plans, etc. Some people are just more socially gifted than others, but you can work on being interesting, and have a few jokes you can tell, (there are many websites on these; keep them clean) so you can pull one out of the hat, occasionally, when the time is right. Practise delivery in front of a mirror first, then to family. The following came from someone else:

"It is always nice to have a good joke to tell, so write some down so you don't forget the punch line. Polls and surveys has a lot of fun questions, so make a list of those so you have something to ask when the conversation stalls.
Where’s the last place you would want to be seen?
What scares you the most?
Scariest/weirdest dream you ever had?
If you could reverse time, what would you do differently?
What’s going through your mind right now?
Tell me something fun about yourself?
What’s the best dream you ever had?
What makes you happy?
Do you ever get a song stuck in your head? What song?
How has the recession affected you, your family?
Tell me about a personal experience in your life?
How many countries have you been to? What was your favorite one?
What is your favorite kind of food, Italian, Chinese, French, Mexican….?
What is your favorite movie, song, book?
When have you felt the most lost?
What was your favorite pet?
What is the most expensive/strangest thing you ever bought?
Where’s the strangest place you ever fell asleep?
What is the longest amount of time you ever stayed awake, and for what reason?
Have you ever done anything on a dare?
Have you ever walked into the wrong public restroom?
If you could teach the world to sing, what song would you choose?
If you were born the opposite sex, what would you have been named.
What is a gift you wish you were born with?
What's an assumption people make about you , that couldn't be more wrong?
If you could only hear one song for the rest of your life, what song would you choose?
What did you love to do when you were a child, that you stopped doing when you grew up?
Name something you learned not to do, only after you did it." ~~~

And mine: "Do you have any eccentric relatives?" "I had ... " "What is the strangest/most dangerous thing that happened to you?" Google: "jokes" select some funny, but clean ones; memorise a few (practise delivery in a mirror) and record some on bits of paper, and read them in a toilet break, to refresh your memory.

Hypnosis is merely a heightened state of suggestibility, in which you are better able to communicate with your subconscious mind; view http://myfavoriteinterests.com/hypnosis/ about what it is, and isn't. 85% of people are suggestible to some degree; 15% - 20% highly so, and 15% - 20% aren't much at all, so you could either preferably seek professional hypnotherapy, or, if not an option, hypnosisdownloads.com has ones on meeting people, and making small talk; hypnotictapes.com has: You are a Brilliant Conversationalist.

Professional advice is to use preferably only 1, or a maximum of 2 at any one time.

BRILLIANT CONVERSATIONALIST
hypnotictapes.com
hypnotictapes.com/transcript/.../TS-CONVERSATIONALIST.shtml
BRILLIANT CONVERSATIONALIST
"You are a brilliant conversationalist. You feel natural and comfortable in conversations with others. You are gracious in your conversation, allowing others to ...

Hoping something in the above helps.

[Ponder]

Yes. As long as I always kept blaming my labels, I was never be able to accept myself. Only by taking the focus off my labels, and accepting responsibility for my own actions was I able to accept myself. Once I realized the issue was not with me, I no longer felt lonely ... I made friends with myself. From that point, positive things started to fall into place.

Only I allow myself to think and feel the way I do. - Master that mind set and you'll soon start making positive changes. Ditch blaming Anxiety and Despression. That mindset will see you continue in a life of pain.

Here's to wishing you all the best.

[psych_student92]

Hi Sunset, I'm new too. I struggled with the exact same issues as you for a few years. Let me know if you have any specific questions or just want to chat :)

[Sunset]

Hi Sunset, I'm new too. I struggled with the exact same issues as you for a few years. Let me know if you have any specific questions or just want to chat :)
hi, how did you get better?