ScentlessApprentice
06-26-2016, 06:29 PM
Hi all, new to the site but not new to anxiety!
I had it pretty under control for a long time, other than the occasional bout of anxiety. But I've noticed it always increases when I start to like someone romantically. It's been like that since my first serious relationship which triggered the anxiety/depression with in me and was subsequently, but temporarily, conquered.
I'm in a bit of a complicated situation with this girl, I have quite strong feelings for her, but they aren't going to be reciprocate yet due to her being recently out of a long term relationship. Although she admits there are feelings for me. The real kicker is I'm living with her from september this year for the academic year.
Since she stayed with me for a week last week, my anxiety has gotten pretty bad. We had a great time, I admitted my feelings, things weren't awkward although that did cause some anxiety. But now she's gone I just want to be in contact with her all the time. It's obsessive, but not necessary.
I'm a very independent person, I've been single for several years and have been totally okay with it. I like my own space, support myself in every way. Generally, I do everything for myself and don't feel the need to lean on anyone. But as soon as I start to really like someone, I lose my backbone and I go from being completely independent to a weak mess. Which obviously is an easy way to sabotage any blossoming relationship.
I'm starting to worry that this tendency for anxiety or dependancy is going to really ruin a lot of potentially great relationships. It could even ruin my living situation. And that really scares me. I can't lose my best friend to this irrational behaviour.
I need to confront this in a constructive many rather than ditch the cause of anxiety (anyone I fancy) and avoid all triggers.
Any advice would be much appreciated.
I had it pretty under control for a long time, other than the occasional bout of anxiety. But I've noticed it always increases when I start to like someone romantically. It's been like that since my first serious relationship which triggered the anxiety/depression with in me and was subsequently, but temporarily, conquered.
I'm in a bit of a complicated situation with this girl, I have quite strong feelings for her, but they aren't going to be reciprocate yet due to her being recently out of a long term relationship. Although she admits there are feelings for me. The real kicker is I'm living with her from september this year for the academic year.
Since she stayed with me for a week last week, my anxiety has gotten pretty bad. We had a great time, I admitted my feelings, things weren't awkward although that did cause some anxiety. But now she's gone I just want to be in contact with her all the time. It's obsessive, but not necessary.
I'm a very independent person, I've been single for several years and have been totally okay with it. I like my own space, support myself in every way. Generally, I do everything for myself and don't feel the need to lean on anyone. But as soon as I start to really like someone, I lose my backbone and I go from being completely independent to a weak mess. Which obviously is an easy way to sabotage any blossoming relationship.
I'm starting to worry that this tendency for anxiety or dependancy is going to really ruin a lot of potentially great relationships. It could even ruin my living situation. And that really scares me. I can't lose my best friend to this irrational behaviour.
I need to confront this in a constructive many rather than ditch the cause of anxiety (anyone I fancy) and avoid all triggers.
Any advice would be much appreciated.