Anxiety after Spouse Health Scare

[sbrookebounds]

Hello,
I'm new to the forums. Back in February, my husband had a health scare. They found multiple nodules in his lungs and he had to have a CT scan. They told us he would have another CT scan in 2 months and if they had grown, they would do a biopsy. That 2 months was the scariest of our lives. I let my mind go to a dark place and pictured what life would be like if he died. I pictured my kids growing up without a dad. I pictured Christmas without him, birthdays without him. He had another CT scan and the nodules had disappeared. They said it was an infection that had cleared up. Everything turned out great and I thought we could go back to our happy lives.

However, after letting myself go to that dark place, it's really hard to get out of it. I have found that since then my health anxiety has skyrocketed. Everytime I get a cold, I think there is something seriously wrong and I think about my kids growing up with 1 parent again. Every time one of the kids has anything wrong, my mind goes to them dying. I find myself pocking and prodding myself looking for lumps and bumps that could be cancer. I'm exhausted and I don't know why I just can't be happy that everything turned out OK.

Has anyone else ever went through this anxiety after someone you love had a health scare?

[Nowuccas]

Hey sbrookebounds,

A post about health anxiety follows:

Ask yourself exactly what evidence there is to support the idea that you may have such a disease, or is it just a baseless fear? What if you did have it. How would you cope? What then? Work it all out on paper. It's important to regularly monitor, and deal with a negative internal monologue (self talk), or mental process, such as disturbing thoughts, images, impulses, or emotions, by the process of (a): recognising it, and (b): challenging it immediately. Technique For Re-Programming Negative Thoughts: When you notice something negative, such as: "I can't do this/ am never going to get over this!" or: "Why am I always so useless/such a loser?" or even an image, emotion, or a memory; recognise that it is being generated from the negative part of your mind. After identifying, and labelling it, visualise a large, red, flashing, "STOP!" sign, and/or possibly a stern faced person wagging an index finger at you in a negative manner, then say to yourself as forcefully as you can, even aloud in a big voice, if alone: "I know this tactic: GO AWAY FOR A WHILE !!!" You may want to use either: "ruse", "ploy", "game", or "trick". In the case of an image, visualise a large "STOP" sign, or your preferred version. Some people go so far as to keep a wide rubber band in their pocket, then put it around their wrist, when they catch themselves backsliding, stretch and release it, as a method of reprogramming their mind sooner, but I don't regard it as being strictly necessary. Remember to remove it, afterwards, if you use this method.

Try replacing a negative thought with a positive affirmation of your choice, such as repeating: "I'll be just fine". Realise that by the act of viewing material about various diseases, you are implanting a suggestion in your subconscious mind that you may have it, It recognises a potential threat, and initiates the (formerly, in times long past) appropriate response; a "fight, or flight" reaction. Stop viewing such material. Practice a relaxation method, daily, and when needed, such as http://www.drcoxconsulting.com/managing-stress.html or http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/mindbody/a/Meditation.htm
or www.wikihow.com/Meditate or Yoga Nidra, (no flexibility required) on page L at your-mental-health.weebly.com below, and see page Z for much more about hypochondria (panic attacks, and anxiety; see pages 1, h, & i). Qi Gong, Tai Chi, or regular yoga suits others better.

Give acupressure tapping / EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. It is free via the searchbar at http://www.mercola.com "EFT" & "EFT therapists", or www.tapping.com (13 free videos) or www.emofree.com or YouTube EFT. Professionally instructed is probably best. - There is a version for use in public places at http://eft.mercola.com (you could claim to have a headache, as you employ the acupressure massage/tapping your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind: "Even though I have hypochondria, I deeply and completely accept myself."). These will enable you to emotionally centre yourself, when practiced regularly, and can also help you become a calmer, more self controlled person, who is less susceptible to such beliefs.

Read: Treating Health Anxiety: A Cognitive-Behavioral Approach by Steven Taylor Phd and Gordon J. G. Asmundson PhD, & The Hypochondriac's Guide to Life. And Death. by Gene Weingarten, & It's Not All in Your Head: How Worrying about Your Health Could Be Making You Sick--and What You Can Do about It by Gordon J. G. Asmundson Ph.D and Steven Taylor Ph.d, from your bookstore, or Amazon.com and there are other media, such as CD's & Kindle material, via their searchbar: "hypochondria".

Hypnosis is merely a heightened state of suggestibility, in which you are better able to communicate with your subconscious mind; view http://myfavoriteinterests.com/hypnosis/ about what it is, and isn't. 85% of people are suggestible to some degree; 15% - 20% highly so, and 15% - 20% aren't much at all, so you could either preferably seek professional hypnotherapy, or, if not an option, hypnosisdownloads.com has: Overcome Hypochondria.

More about hypochondriasis may be found at http://your-mental-health.weebly.com/z.html where the above came from.

[Nowuccas]

WORRYING

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/health/mind/worrying-doesnt-solve-your-problems-it-is-the-problem/news-story/3d08078c2d45c669695d6b4821a8fab3

DO YOU worry too much? Do you find yourself worrying excessively about your health, your finances, your job security, what people think of you, or if you will be able to get to sleep?
Worrying excessively can lead to a host of physical and mental problems such as hypochondria, muscle tension, chronic indigestion, poor sleep, irrational fears, panic, self-consciousness, stage fright, compulsive behaviours, and perfectionism.
You may think that worrying will help you avoid bad things from happening, lessen the impact of bad things, or help you come up with solutions. But worrying is actually the problem, not the solution.
The following strategies have been found to help worriers break the cycle and eliminate unhelpful thoughts.
1. SET ASIDE A WORRY PERIOD
Rather than be held hostage to disruptive worrying thoughts throughout the day give yourself permission to postpone worrying until later.
During the day (or night) jot down any worries or anxious thoughts that arise and then at a prearranged time, preferably when you’re in a good mood as this will promote realistic and creative problem-solving thinking, sit down for 15 minutes and address each worry.
By the time you return to thinking about the worry you’ll probably discover that it’s not such a problem after all.
Setting aside a worry period allows you to think things through clearly.
Setting aside a worry period allows you to think things through clearly.Source:istock
2. DETERMINE IF THE WORRY IS SOLVABLE

A solvable worry is one that you can take action on right away. For example, you may be worried about the content of a presentation you have to give next week to a manager. However, by phoning the manager you can take immediate action to clarify the details of the presentation.
An unsolvable worry is one over which you have no control and there is nothing you can do now that will lead to a solution. For example, thinking “What if I don’t get to sleep?” or “What if I get cancer?”
To help distinguish whether your worry is solvable or unsolvable ask the following questions:
• Is the problem my problem? If not, don’t worry about it.
• Do I have control over the problem? If not, don’t worry about it.
• Does the problem need solving now? If it does, take action to solve it. If not, don’t worry about it.
3. IF THE WORRY IS SOLVABLE, WORK ON A SOLUTION
Once you determine that a worry is solvable brainstorm as many possible solutions you can think of. Make sure you stay focused on the things you can change and not on circumstances or other people which you can’t change.
Aim at finding a realistic and achievable solution and avoid looking for a perfect solution. After you have evaluated all of your options choose the most reasonable one and then make a plan of action.
4. IF THE WORRY IS UNSOLVABLE, MANAGE YOUR EMOTIONS
Sometimes you can’t solve a problem because either it’s not your problem (you are worried about your daughter’s failing marriage), it’s uncontrollable (you are worried whether it will rain during the picnic), or it can’t be resolved right away (you are worried about your factory closing in two years’ time).
When this happens focus on managing your own emotions using the following techniques:
• Mindfulness: Because worrying is usually focused on what might happen in the future mindfulness keeps your attention in the present and thus worry-free.
• Social support: Talking to friends about your worry can help as long as you don’t get stuck in shuffle mode where you replay over and over again your problem.
• Exercise: This is one of the best ways I know of for burning off pent-up anxious feelings and for gaining perspective about a worry.
• Relax: Because worriers tend to be in a constant state of tension, it is important that you regularly try to relax using music, meditation, time outdoors, or leisure activities.
5. EMBRACE UNCERTAINTY TO REDUCE WORRYING
Chronic worriers have trouble tolerating uncertainty or unpredictability. “What will I do if I don’t get the promotion?” or “What if my blind date doesn’t like me?” However, thinking about all the things that could go wrong in your life won’t keep bad things or unexpected events from occurring.
The solution is to accept that uncertainty is a part of life and then choose to focus on the parts that you can control and put all of your energies into making the most of them and appreciating them.
6. CHALLENGE WORRYING THOUGHTS
Chronic worriers tend to have two types of thoughts. First, they over-estimate the possibility that bad things will happen, and second, they underestimate their own ability at handling these things. These thoughts aren’t based on reality or fact and are totally irrational.
You can break these bad thinking habits and develop a more balanced and healthier perspective of your worries by asking the following questions:
• What is the evidence that the worrying thought is true?
• What is the probability that my worry will actually happen?
• When have I successfully handled problems like this before?
• Am I focusing on solutions to my worries?
• Is the way I am thinking helping me or making me feel better?
• What encouraging words would I say to a friend who had this worry?

[Nowuccas]

Once again I have duplicated a post in error, probably due to an old, slow computer, and being on dialup because my useless ISP can't offer ADSL in my area.

[Nowuccas]

GRRRRR! So annoying! Time for a break.

[Kirk]

My wife once went to the hospital with chest discomfort and vomiting. It turned out to be GI related. She also had a call back after a mammogram and
had to have any ultrasound. She was OK. I was worried and was praying all would be OK and it was, thank goodness.