Being seen as weak by your own family

[Zena]

That's a tough one, I tell ya. Sheesh, sorry we've had different life experiences and some things are not as easy for me to do as they are for you. Sorry we're two different people...my bad. Yeah, I quit some things I started and lost some things I gained. I still rose from the ground and took another swing at it, though. Anxiety has gotten in the way of a few jobs but I've still been able to hold several jobs for a good period of time considering the hurdles I had to jump just to be trusted as equally competent. Also, getting those jobs to begin with was like, so not easy for me. Believe it. My anxiety has been mistaken for both a learning disability and a snobbish attitude. I have neither. You should already know that, though. You've known me all my life. Can't expect everybody to be like you. Setting me up to fail. Now that isn't very fair, is it? I don't feel comfortable talking to a particular person at this time. Feel free to ignore...just venting.

[Kirk]

Very few people know of my health anxiety. I tell as few people as possible as many don't understand and
see it as a sign of weakness and can become judgmental.

[Boo Bass]

Unfortunately it is our job to educate family and friends about our mental illness if they are judgmental against us. Not easy but can be done. Try getting them to listen to audio recordings by Claire Weekes there is some free stuff on the net

[Zena]

Very few people know of my health anxiety. I tell as few people as possible as many don't understand and
see it as a sign of weakness and can become judgmental.

Yeah, I've only actually told a few close family members and a few doctors when seeking professional help. There's really only one relative that has made me feel negatively judged. This person also happens to be one of my parents :/



Unfortunately it is our job to educate family and friends about our mental illness if they are judgmental against us. Not easy but can be done. Try getting them to listen to audio recordings by Claire Weekes there is some free stuff on the net

Not a bad idea. Thanks for the suggestion.

[Kirk]

I have a small business and if my clients knew of this it may negatively impact my business so I can't take the risk of letting anyone know.

[Ponder]

Don't focus on it. By focusing on it, you only feed both yours and their supposed desire to have you pegged/boxed. It's not our responsibility to do anything but be the person we wish to be. This does not include running around after others in order that they may learn how to view us. Work more on focusing on your strengths. YOU be the one to say what kind of world in which you wish to live.

This may include cutting ties for a limited time, extended time and or for good. Then of course it may not include disconnecting, but merely changing your own perception and seeing the others as in need of help. At the end of the day, it's your choice how you decide to think, feel and act.

Focus on your strengths. Educate yourself and leave the others to work things out for themselves.

[HookTheCodfish]

In my family I'm the "special needs" person. I'm actually close to average intelligence, but my parents and (younger) sisters are all above average, so any time the whole family is together it's a stark reminder of how stupid I am. And my mom loves to remind me of it by treating me like I have an IQ of 70. (I'm 28 and living on my own by the way.) Unfortunately someone in every family will have to be the weakest link. I try to take comfort in the fact that if I weren't around the burden would fall on one of my poor sisters instead, so I'm taking the load off for them.

My advice is to as much as possible think outside your family. If you met a person who was just like you, whose family was that way, would you agree with that person's family that he or she is "weak?" Probably not. So just because your family looks down on you doens't mean anyone else will. And as far as I can tell it's quite common to have a family that disdains you. Lots of successful people come from families that were most definitely NOT supportive.

[Boo Bass]

Hi there

The fact that you say you are close to average intelligence probably means you are well above that. Very few people of average intelligence realise it or admit it. My guess is that you were not very interested in study but your younger sisters were swots, so the inevitable comparisons begin. My wife is very intelligent but a bit lazy, still under the shadow of her highly academic but socially inept older brother. It's common to see younger siblings react against older ones getting too much praise by intentionally underperforming. All that matters is whether you're content with your life as it is. You don't need to compete.

[Jennie88]

Ppl are smart in different ways. We cannot judge someone's intelligence by an IQ test. We can only judge by what they've been through and how they adapt and grow from their experiences. That's when we see true character and wisdom. And it's not okay that your family looks down on you, and it's certainly not okay that you don't feel supported by them. Take a break from them if they make you feel low- it's your right as a human being.

[Zena]

Thank you for your replies. Ah well...if it's the truth, it's the truth. It is what it is. Maybe it is just a hard pill to swallow. I should have tried even harder in life and became someone my parents could look at with pride. Almost doesn't count. If I didn't succeed then I failed. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. I don't have thick enough skin and that's my problem. I'm off this. No point in whining about it anymore. Anyways, thanks again.

[Kirk]

I tell my daughter who will be 26 soon, to always try your best and give it your best shot and that is all that anyone can ask of you.