PDA

View Full Version : Please tell me this is going to get better :(



Aurian
06-17-2016, 08:30 AM
Hi all, I'm new to this site. 37yo female. Single, living alone.
Sorry, this is probably going to be long. I have no-one else to talk to.

I've always been a bit anxious and a 'worst case scenario' person. I've recently suffered some personal loss of two beloved companion animals within a short space of each other and this just shattered me.
I thought I was coping well but in hindsight I was probably just bottling up my profound grief.

A few weeks ago I became ill and suffered some scary symptoms, vertigo, dizziness, hot spells, pressure behind my eyes, tinnitus. I've always been healthy, cant remember the last time I've been to a doctor, so I did not know what was going on.
and wham, my first panic attack. So there I was, alone in my house, convinced I was dying or had some horrible disease and had no idea what do do. I very nearly called an ambulance.

Over the course of the next few weeks I had several more panic attacks, I was constantly fearful at work, struggling to concentrate, and my weird eye pressure/dizziness symptoms persisted.

Eventually I made an appointment with a GP. The minute I walked into her office I just broke down and cried. I was so afraid she would diagnose something awful.
Turns out I had a nasty sinus infection which affected my ears too. Thyroid tested ok.

I told her about my panic attacks, extreme anxiety and resulting depression and she prescribed 10mg of Zytomil and 10mg of Urbanol.
I started slow with 5mg of Zytomil for 6 weeks and 10mg of urbanol twice a day.

After 6 days I upped the Zytomil to the full 10mg and kept taking the urbanol.

It's now 9 days later. 2 days ago I panic attacked at work again and went to go see my GP straight away. I told her the urbanol was not touching my anxiety in the least.
She prescribed 0.5mg of Xanor SR twice daily and only THEN tells me that the Zytomil will initially cause my anxiety to flare up for a couple of weeks.

I feel better and go home with my Xanor, convinced this would help until the SSRI kicks in.

Next morning I wake up in a flat panic. worst I've ever felt. it took me 20 minutes just to get up and go take my Xanor.
It did nothing. absolutely nothing. by now I was hysterical and I felt so helpless and petrified.

Somehow I make it to work, suffer through the day on the verge of tears and stumble home.
Yesterday was a public holiday, I suffered through the debilitating panic for the whole day. the 0.5mg Xanor twice daily had no effect.

This morning I could not get myself out of bed to go to work, I was so panicked. I phone my GP and tell her I'm going out of my mind and she has to give me something else.
She sounded a little annoyed with me and said she told me the SSRIs would make things worse initially and the best she can do is up my Xanor SR dose to 1mg. Told me if that doesnt work she'll have to refer my to a Psychologist.

I don't understand how my panic has become so unbearable within such a short space of time. Could it really be the SSRIs doing this?
I am NOT coping right now and feel utterly desolate and scared out of my mind.

cloudy black
06-17-2016, 10:56 AM
hello Aurian
sorry for the loss of your two companions. animals are so great and i still miss my pet ..
is there anyone you can talk to because if you keep bottling up these emotions you will keep having the panic attacks i reckon. the drugs will anesthetise the unexpressed emotions.

you sound like it would be helpful if you could see a counselor as we have emotions for a reason and drugs just push them down deeper but yours seem to keep on coming back up to the surface.

actually the SSRI can at first make you feel worse before you start to notice any "improvement" but i would encourage you to see some kind of counselor. take care and hold on

Anne1221
06-17-2016, 04:27 PM
Not a bad idea to see a psychologist. That way you won't be so alone in handling this problem.

foreman
06-18-2016, 04:54 AM
Well the problem its that you develop some serious problems about fears and are deep inside you .Search for a good psychologist or a therapist and i am sure it will help you because its qualified in such things

Two One
06-22-2016, 02:40 PM
I'm sorry about the loss of your companions. I'm sure it can't be easy. I have a dog that can manage to make me smile even on my worst days.

As for the medication, SSRIs are incredibly difficult to tolerate upon starting them. I was put on Lexapro (same as Zytomil - escitalopram) in April 2014 and when I first started taking it, it was hell, and that's putting it lightly. The increase in anxiety was a disaster. It is true that SSRIs commonly make anxiety worse when starting them, the brain is not used to the serotonin being available for a longer amount of time. I know the side effects are very unpleasant but they will dissipate as your body acclimates to the drug. In the meantime I recommend you ask your doctor about increasing the dosage of your alprazolam. If it did not help the panic then you need to be on a higher dose. Benzodiazepines are commonly used in conjunction with SSRIs when starting an SSRI to help you get through the side effects. I also think it's a good idea to look for a good therapist as well. Therapy can be a tremendous help. However, make sure they are trained in cognitive behavioral therapy, as it is the most effective for panic and anxiety disorders. I wish you the best of luck. You can make it through this.

Kirk
06-22-2016, 07:52 PM
The death of loved ones can be very painful. I remember in a years time from September 2012 to August 2013, my mother, then father and then my uncle all
passed away. Not very good.

sunandflowers
06-23-2016, 03:14 PM
Hello Aurian, I am sorry to hear of the loss of your pets. In my experience pets often become part of the family. I am sorry to hear of the anxiety, panic attacks, and other symptoms that you have been suffering from. I am glad that you were able to visit your primary care provider and have been working with her on the symptoms that you have been having. I am sorry that you have continued to suffer from panic attacks. I know that sometimes when I am afraid or suffering from anxiety it helps to talk to someone. I would encourage you to pursue talking to a trained professional about the things that you are going through. You can speak with a Focus counselor at no cost to you by calling 855-382-5433. I am sure that your physician may have some recommendations for you as well. I hope that you start feeling better soon.