Maintaining conversations

[Idontunderstan]

My biggest problem is that I can't think of things to say when I'm in social situations. People always says it's good to ask the other person questions but my mind just always go blank and I can't think of anything to ask or say.

This makes it hard for me o hangout with people, especially if it's a one on one thing. It's easier if there are a few people in s group because then I can just sit back and chime in when I have something to say rather than having to force a conversation.

There are only a few people who I feel comfortable having one on one time with because I don't feel uneasy about having to think of topics or questions, I can just be relaxed and not worry about awkward silences.

I really need to get better at this because I'm in school for journalism right now and am afraid of the classes where I'll have to talk to random strangers, I don't think I can do that, and I can see myself failing a class because of my issues

Anyone have any thoughts?

[Nowuccas]

Hey Idontunderstan,

I can't claim to have written the following:

"It is always nice to have a good joke to tell, so write some down so you don't forget the punch line. Polls and surveys has a lot of fun questions, so make a list of those so you have something to ask when the conversation stalls.
Where’s the last place you would want to be seen?
What scares you the most?
Scariest/weirdest dream you ever had?
If you could reverse time, what would you do differently?
What’s going through your mind right now?
Tell me something fun about yourself?
What’s the best dream you ever had?
What makes you happy?
Do you ever get a song stuck in your head? What song?
How has the recession affected you, your family?
Tell me about a personal experience in your life?
How many countries have you been to? What was your favorite one?
What is your favorite kind of food, Italian, Chinese, French, Mexican….?
What is your favorite movie, song, book?
When have you felt the most lost?
What was your favorite pet?
What is the most expensive/strangest thing you ever bought?
Where’s the strangest place you ever fell asleep?
What is the longest amount of time you ever stayed awake, and for what reason?
Have you ever done anything on a dare?
Have you ever walked into the wrong public restroom?
If you could teach the world to sing, what song would you choose?
If you were born the opposite sex, what would you have been named.
What is a gift you wish you were born with?
What's an assumption people make about you , that couldn't be more wrong?
If you could only hear one song for the rest of your life, what song would you choose?
What did you love to do when you were a child, that you stopped doing when you grew up?
Name something you learned not to do, only after you did it."

And mine: "Do you have any eccentric relatives?" "I had ... ", and: "What is the strangest / most dangerous thing that happened to you?".

If in a group, ask everyone what 2 subjects interest them; if one on one, ask for 3, then you have some idea, as well as a choice on which to pursue.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Hypnosis is merely a heightened state of suggestibility, in which you are better able to communicate with your subconscious mind; view http://myfavoriteinterests.com/hypnosis/ about what it is, and isn't.

85% of people are suggestible to some degree; 15% - 20% highly so, and 15% - 20% aren't much at all, so you could either preferably seek professional hypnotherapy, or, if not an option, hypnosisdownloads.com has one on making small talk, and http://www.hypnotictapes.com/ has: YOU ARE A BRILLIANT CONVERSATIONALIST. verbatim suggestions "You are a brilliant conversationalist. You feel natural and comfortable in conversations ....

Professional advice is to use preferably only 1, or a maximum of 2 at any one time.

[The Intolerable Kid]

Commenting on the weather is usually pretty safe and fairly universal.

[Dahila]

Gaz prices, food price rising , hydro and many others safe topics . TIK everyone comments on weather. When I went to Spain the first thing I had learned was "Hase mucho calor" it means it is very hot today :))

[psych_student92]

Asking about a show or film or album that's out at the moment is always a good starting point.
"Have you heard/seen X? What did you think of it?" And can lead into a more general conversation about what kinds of music/film you/they like. I hate talking to strangers too, but I love getting recommendations for new music/films, so I use that as motivation to persist with the conversation