I thought I was done with this....

[Stephj526]

I used to be very anxious. It all started after a few super fast heartrates, that were later diagnosed as Sinus Tachycardia. Totally normal heart, normal rhythyms, just fast. All labs were normal. Well then I started having pretty severe health anxiety. I later started Lexapro and after about 2 years was able to successfully wean off.

Fast forward the past 10 months. Most of it was pretty good. I'd have the occasional anxious day, but panic attacks rarely happened. I completed some CBT and felt 80% in control.

Then the last few weeks happened. Panic attack on my way home from work. Now I can't drive past that spot, or home from work alone, without having a panic attack in the same area. Anxiety worsens and worsens to the point I have to stop exercising again. I finally see a doctor and we go over med options. We decide Lexapro is best for me with my other meds, and add Buspar as needed.

I'm on day 3. While my panic attacks are lessening, I feel anxious almost all of the time still. I'm convinced that I may never feel healthy again. I've always been afraid of dying young, and I feel so unhealthy because of all of this. I can't remember when I started feeling better last time, but I'm praying it happens soon.

In the meantime, I had to have a colonoscopy yesterday. And my stomach has been upset every since. I landed myself in the hospital last night. I was told my heart and lungs are showing no signs of problems, no clots, and that it's probably acid reflux. Totally reasonable answer, but now I can't stop thinking it's a complication. Although I would imagine they would have noticed that yesterday. I did do the one thing I never do, and look online to see what the complications are. While I'm nauseous, my stomach is only slightly swollen (probably from all the gas), and not hard to the touch. My Lexapro did used to make me nauseous at dosage changes...I think.

If you're still reading, you're a saint. Has anyone ever felt like they were never going to be normal again, and then one day woke up and just felt more like themselves again? Or had a fully healthy feeling day? Because I can't remember the last time I felt great all day. It's been a LONG time.

[Kirk]

I am a middle aged man of 59 and have had health anxiety off and on for over 30 years. I have had some
pretty rough bumps in the road. Once time a number of years ago, I went through a pretty rough time
and I thought I would have a major league meltdown, but did not. If I told you all of the tests I have had,
you would laugh. I still get weird symptom/sensations. Colonoscopy side affects are pretty rare, so you should
be OK ion that respect. My last colonoscopy was in December 2013 and my stomach was messed up for days.
I still had some diarrhea for a day or two afterwards if I recall or maybe more. I was an idiot and drove later that
day to work (1.8 miles from my house). You are young and will bounce back.

[Anne1221]

Give the Lexapro more time and it will start working soon. It's tough the first two weeks, but week three you will feel much better and week four you'll be getting close to getting the full benefits of the medication. You will feel so much better.

[NixonRulz]

Ah....getting back to normal......probably not gonna happen

As least as you used to know it. That's the whole point, by trying to get back to where you were, you get even more anxious because you are chasing something that cannot be caught

Understanding you are an anxious person and accepting that, clears up a bunch of noise in your mind

Everyone has issues. We just have an issue with feeling genuine fear without any real danger

It sucks but accepting it allows you to understand better why you feel as you do

[Jayni]

First of all, it shows how powerful the mind and your thinking are - they literally can produce these reactions in your body. Are you in counseling to address the anxious feelings? Make sure you find someone you're comfortable with for both counseling and for you medications. Let them know if your ultimate goal is to be off medications however don't beat yourself if you do need them for a time. And most of all, try and keep in check the fatalistic thinking (i.e. I'm ALWAYS going to be like this) - I know, I've dealt with this, too. Just deal with today and don't project too far into the future. Most likely circumstances and you will change and for the better as you mature/age. Give yourself a break. Take deep breaths. And find those things that soothe you in times of turmoil - try classical music, petting a dog, looking at photos of beauty on Pinterest. You will have good days again...and some bad...you will find tools and tactics to combat those down times. Take good care...

[pillgirl82]

Hi Stephj526.
Your post really struck a chord with me. I often worry that I will never feel healthy or normal again - I can't remember the last time I did feel that way. Similar to you, I have had numerous health problems. My issues are respiratory - difficulty breathing - feeling like a belt is around my rib cage. Lots of pneumonia and bronchitis. This prevents me from sleeping most nights, which makes my immune system even worse.... how is your sleep these days?
I'm still waiting for better days to come. When I think of the future, I see myself as being over this. Clonazepam helps me in an emergency, but I don't feel "sharp" on it, you know? I've been on every med you can imagine, and clonazepam was the best... addictive though. Don't give up!