Umi
05-21-2016, 05:50 PM
i will try keeping this story as short as possible
i lived with my mom for 13 years, allot of good things happend and bad things.
i got yelled at and sometimes even hit, one time i remember is that she went completely berzerk picked me up and threw me on the ground like a few times, it was insane.
im noting this because this is probably one of the reasons i suffer from anxiety
but im typing this while she stands 2 meters away from me while she watches her soap, 5 years later.
so i lived with my dad the 5 crazy years, its like i ordered the wrong ticket.
i just lived a few months there and we already started argeuing because i came too late back home which was reasonable, but he acted so paranoid about it.
We had to move away because he had a hairdresser shop also the rent was too high for him so i had to leave behind my place i grew up for 9 years.
Somehow he had taken over the hairdresser shop, well i could say i was proud on him.
My mom was going on vacation with the kids, yes i wasnt the only one i had 3 brothers and 1 sister probably 1 reason why i moved to my dad..
After i left her she acted like she was a new mom, so nice and quiet like ive never seen her before.
while she left i asked her if she could give me her keys so i could play on the laptop when i wanted to, thats why i came home late and my dad went paranoid about it..
I was at my dads house and told him if he could bring me to my moms house, he already drove away and as soon as i opened the door i noticed stuff mising
I called the cops and as they arived they were checking the fridge but there was no food, so they told me why i was home with no food.
i explained the situation, that i just arrived and would leave in the evening but the cops didnt listen and took me to some local childcare, i ofcourse was shocked about this whole situation, cops and suddenly childcare..
I told one of the cops to give the keys of my moms house back to her when she comes back, so i stood there talking with some staff member of the childcare explained the same like i did to the officer.
After that my dad arrived and instead of being concerned about me he said: What have you done this time? Like i get in trouble with the cops EVERYDAY!
After that things were vaugue..
Me and my dad were visiting the police department and asked them to get my moms key back so i can give it to her myself, but they refused because i wasnt her kid anymore on paper, i cried a little because i wanted to make things alright and i felt like i failed with something, my dad pat me on the shoulder and said: its alright but as when i entered his car he looked at me like i was trash, screamed and pressed the accelerator too hard and hit the brakes hard also.
I told him to drive to my moms neighbours and explain them what happend, they werent home but appearently my mom was.
I quickly said to her: YOUR HOUSE WAS BEING ROBBED! she didnt even listen.. What a coincidence that you two moved out, i wonder where you got the money from she said and some more things. I ran outside crying while i saw my step dad i stepped into my dads car and he yelled at me again.
My stepdad made me calm down and told my dad not to yell at me.
i was exhausted because of how much i cried and of the whole situation i just wanted to sleep..
And highschool didnt made things better either, my dad wasnt there for me when i needed him.
The hairdresser shop didnt worked out either and we almost landed on the streets, we had to live with his :new: wife for a year he met her while she came as a customer.
So my dad almost doesnt act different like he used to, but everytime we argue (for some reason while we could just normally talk about it)my heart races and im not able to think of any words and i start talking really fast and my voice sounds pretty low than usual and then He mentions that why im talking so weird, stuff that makes my anxiety even worse.
Also my dad is a foreigner, he comes from the East side of Turkey he is Kurdisch and he is the type that used to work on the land and i am really different compared to him, a guy that watches anime and plays games.
Im sorry for typing this many it seems that i got caried away and almost told my entire story and mentioned unrelated things, but still they all have something to do with the person ive become, thank you time for reading all this..
i lived with my mom for 13 years, allot of good things happend and bad things.
i got yelled at and sometimes even hit, one time i remember is that she went completely berzerk picked me up and threw me on the ground like a few times, it was insane.
im noting this because this is probably one of the reasons i suffer from anxiety
but im typing this while she stands 2 meters away from me while she watches her soap, 5 years later.
so i lived with my dad the 5 crazy years, its like i ordered the wrong ticket.
i just lived a few months there and we already started argeuing because i came too late back home which was reasonable, but he acted so paranoid about it.
We had to move away because he had a hairdresser shop also the rent was too high for him so i had to leave behind my place i grew up for 9 years.
Somehow he had taken over the hairdresser shop, well i could say i was proud on him.
My mom was going on vacation with the kids, yes i wasnt the only one i had 3 brothers and 1 sister probably 1 reason why i moved to my dad..
After i left her she acted like she was a new mom, so nice and quiet like ive never seen her before.
while she left i asked her if she could give me her keys so i could play on the laptop when i wanted to, thats why i came home late and my dad went paranoid about it..
I was at my dads house and told him if he could bring me to my moms house, he already drove away and as soon as i opened the door i noticed stuff mising
I called the cops and as they arived they were checking the fridge but there was no food, so they told me why i was home with no food.
i explained the situation, that i just arrived and would leave in the evening but the cops didnt listen and took me to some local childcare, i ofcourse was shocked about this whole situation, cops and suddenly childcare..
I told one of the cops to give the keys of my moms house back to her when she comes back, so i stood there talking with some staff member of the childcare explained the same like i did to the officer.
After that my dad arrived and instead of being concerned about me he said: What have you done this time? Like i get in trouble with the cops EVERYDAY!
After that things were vaugue..
Me and my dad were visiting the police department and asked them to get my moms key back so i can give it to her myself, but they refused because i wasnt her kid anymore on paper, i cried a little because i wanted to make things alright and i felt like i failed with something, my dad pat me on the shoulder and said: its alright but as when i entered his car he looked at me like i was trash, screamed and pressed the accelerator too hard and hit the brakes hard also.
I told him to drive to my moms neighbours and explain them what happend, they werent home but appearently my mom was.
I quickly said to her: YOUR HOUSE WAS BEING ROBBED! she didnt even listen.. What a coincidence that you two moved out, i wonder where you got the money from she said and some more things. I ran outside crying while i saw my step dad i stepped into my dads car and he yelled at me again.
My stepdad made me calm down and told my dad not to yell at me.
i was exhausted because of how much i cried and of the whole situation i just wanted to sleep..
And highschool didnt made things better either, my dad wasnt there for me when i needed him.
The hairdresser shop didnt worked out either and we almost landed on the streets, we had to live with his :new: wife for a year he met her while she came as a customer.
So my dad almost doesnt act different like he used to, but everytime we argue (for some reason while we could just normally talk about it)my heart races and im not able to think of any words and i start talking really fast and my voice sounds pretty low than usual and then He mentions that why im talking so weird, stuff that makes my anxiety even worse.
Also my dad is a foreigner, he comes from the East side of Turkey he is Kurdisch and he is the type that used to work on the land and i am really different compared to him, a guy that watches anime and plays games.
Im sorry for typing this many it seems that i got caried away and almost told my entire story and mentioned unrelated things, but still they all have something to do with the person ive become, thank you time for reading all this..